Do I or don’t I ?
I am 66 yes old - 3 years post lumpectomy and radiation
Each review I’ve had means painful mammograms ( due to dense breasts) and ultra sounds - finishing off with a mammogram biopsy - yes at every review !
Each review I’ve had means painful mammograms ( due to dense breasts) and ultra sounds - finishing off with a mammogram biopsy - yes at every review !
I’ve just had my third year review with the inevitable biopsy - results came back today as negative
So here I am - emotionally spent - if it was just the mammogram and u/s then I could deal with that but it’s the lonely humiliating experience of the mammogram biopsy and the wait for results - I can’t explain to anyone who has not experienced the impact of a cancer diagnosis - then treatment and the emotion that you go through during the reviews
I want to focus on life not think every time there is pain - my mind starts thinking and while I can bring my mind into the now - this is taking it’s toll
i want to have a mastectomy - I need to do something positive - take control of this monster and be boss of it - not it of me
My daughter is also on this journey - I know what to expect - I don’t need or want reconstruction - I want peace
My husband thinks I’m nuts going down this road - how else do I find this peace ?
So here I am - emotionally spent - if it was just the mammogram and u/s then I could deal with that but it’s the lonely humiliating experience of the mammogram biopsy and the wait for results - I can’t explain to anyone who has not experienced the impact of a cancer diagnosis - then treatment and the emotion that you go through during the reviews
I want to focus on life not think every time there is pain - my mind starts thinking and while I can bring my mind into the now - this is taking it’s toll
i want to have a mastectomy - I need to do something positive - take control of this monster and be boss of it - not it of me
My daughter is also on this journey - I know what to expect - I don’t need or want reconstruction - I want peace
My husband thinks I’m nuts going down this road - how else do I find this peace ?