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Grandma_of_7's avatar
Grandma_of_7
Member
5 years ago

Do I or don’t I ?

I am 66 yes old - 3 years post lumpectomy and radiation 
Each review I’ve had means painful mammograms ( due to dense breasts) and ultra sounds - finishing off with a mammogram biopsy - yes at every review ! 
I’ve just had my third year review with the inevitable biopsy - results came back today as negative 
So here I am - emotionally spent - if it was just the mammogram and u/s then I could deal with that but it’s the lonely humiliating experience of the mammogram biopsy and the wait for results - I can’t explain to anyone who has not experienced the impact of a cancer diagnosis - then treatment and the emotion that you go through during the reviews 
I want to focus on life not think every time there is pain - my mind starts thinking and while I can bring my mind into the now - this is taking it’s toll
i want to have a mastectomy - I need to do something positive - take control of this monster and be boss of it - not it of me 
My daughter is also on this journey - I know what to expect - I don’t need or want reconstruction - I want peace 
My husband thinks I’m nuts going down this road - how else do I find this peace ? 
coping
follow-up
mastectomy
post-treatment

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  • Grandma_of_7's avatar
    Grandma_of_7
    Member
    5 years ago
    Oh my goodness - thank you for responding and for being honest - I was feeling a little stupid having written this post - but you have helped me to feel my feelings are valid - tonight I’m going through - ugh why aren’t you celebrating ? I’m not down I’m just thinking ok - so buck up kid so you are ready for next year -
    there are others doing it so much harder - but at the end of the day we do this journey on our own aren’t  we - so we need to do what works for each of us 
  • Hankster's avatar
    Hankster
    Member
    5 years ago
    I first got bc at 36 my margins were very close and I was told I didn’t need a mastectomy but it was worth considering. I did and don’t regret it for a minute. I was able to get on with my life without constant fear. I had 10 good years before it became metastatic. I often wonder how quickly it would have come back if I had not had it removed. Good luck with what ever you decide 
  • Keeping_positiv's avatar
    Keeping_positiv
    Member
    5 years ago
    Hi @Grandma , although I am not a grandma yet, I am turning 66 middle of this year.  I am pleased you posted  your comment, as I have similar feelings.  Each year in January I have my yearly mammogram and ultrasound and at that time I have severe anxiety, and wonder if I should have just had a bilateral mastectomy when I was diagnosed end on 2016 (cancer in both breasts and in 2 lymph nodes).  Of course, I know this would not mean that the cancer could not return, but at least the mammograms and ultrasounds would have come to a close.  

    I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that each January when I need to have my yearly reviews, I think I should have just had both breasts off in the first instance. 

    I don't think you are nuts!  At times I think my breasts are just time bombs, and perhaps I should have had a bilateral mastectomy, so I certainly understand the dilemma you are going through.  A bilateral mastectomy wasn't necessary in my case, so I opted for the bilateral breast conserving surgery, as I was told that most "fare" better ":psychologically" without the ordeal of mastectomies.  

    Whether we keep our breasts or not is the question! 

    Some say we should follow our gut instincts, which I did, but , like you I now question my decision.