Forum Discussion
Kiwi_Angel
8 years agoMember
Betrayal
just found out at Mother’s Day lunch that my Mother in Law has told my brother and sister in law (who we are estranged from and haven’t spoken too in about 6 years) about my breast cancer diagnosis after my husband expressly told her not to cause I didn’t want them to know. I am so upset and angry, just about burst into tears at lunch - it feels like the worst thing that has happened to me since diagnosis. How could she do that?? It’s not her diagnosis to share and it is none of their business. They don’t care anyway. The thought of them knowing such an intimate detail of my life makes me feels sick. I am absolutely devastated.
90 Replies
- MoiraCMemberFeeling for you @"Kiwi Angel" -some people are just so self obsessed and fail to care about their actions and impact on others. Sounds like distance is a good idea from this heartless woman.
- Kiwi_AngelMember@Sister - very similar personality to my MIL - I don’t like that I have been used as a way to become the centre of attention by having some good gossip to tell the BIL under the guise of he should know. He doesn’t care and I can actually hear him saying I deserve it or some such other horrible comment. I generally keep a distance from her anyway - the woman is too frustrating!! What’s that saying?? U can’t pick your family?!
- SisterMemberI should say that I don't dislike my MIL but it took me a long time to realise that she was on a completely different page from my Mum (who would fight like the devil for any of us, go without for us, and help anyone who she thought needed it). My MIL needs to always be the centre of attention and is validated by people running after her. I changed my expectations and, most of the time, I can roll with it. I figure I can shake my head and laugh about it to myself, or get stressed.
- Kiwi_AngelMemberHaha @Zoffiel that worked well for me too with my first “practice” husband but I kind of like this one so I’ll have to deal with MIL unfortunately.
- ZoffielMemberOne of the nicest things about getting rid of a husband is losing their mothers as well. I've had 100% failure on the husband front but that translates to 100% wins when it comes to MILs. An extreme strategy, I will admit, and not for everybody :)
- Kiwi_AngelMember@Sister seems like there is a golden child in every family and often the one that shouldn’t be. Sometimes I’m glad I’m an only child but unfortunately I have inherited shit relatives by marriage.
- SisterMemberMy husband's family has a Golden Child, too. He's missed a number of family celebrations including Mother's Day and it's always forgiven (he's not married, by the way so no woman on his side hoping for her own Mother's Day) but heaven help us if we miss it. To be fair, the one who should get the tiara is my sister-in-law who does everything.
- Kiwi_AngelMember@onemargie this is gold - u could literally be talking about us. We call my BIL the golden child too and if he shows her any kindness she just kisses his ass - she just forgives him anything even though he did some horrible things when he was younger and still does - she ruined our vow renewal dinner when she was going on about how good the BIL friends were compared to my husbands friends when they were younger and then when she got told it want the place or time she sulked.
- onemargieMemberMy mother in law has always favoured hubbys brother too. We always make jokes he’s the golden child. Your mother in law must be related to mine. She will definately continue to make it about her she will be sulking for sure and will try and make your hubby feel bad when she next speaks to him even though it’s all her fault. My hubby is a really lovely bloke too and has helped her in the past with out any thanks but if the golden child does it you’d think he’d given her a lung FFS. she is the one missing out she never sees us or her adult grandkids and she doesn’t speak to “the golden child’s” kids grown children either as she’s a nut job. So don’t worry you’re not the only one. Margie. Xx
- Kiwi_AngelMember@onemargie - there is no such thing as the “happy family” really. She has always favoured my brother in law over my husband even though he treats her like crap and because he lives in Brisbane my husband does everything for her - he goes round there once a week and looks after the house and gardens and she just takes it for granted - makes me so sick cause he is such a good person. She has been incredibly selfish and narcissistic since my lovely father in law passed away - world revolves round her and what she wants and stuff anyone else.
As as an update my hubby hasn’t heard from her today and she normally rings once a day at least. We think she either knows she did something wrong and is giving it a day to go away or because she is so selfish she is sulking cause she thinks she is hard done by.