Betrayal

@Eastmum thanks for your kind words - as usual all the ladies here have been fantastic support. She will suffer the loss of me in her life but the saddest thing is she won’t get why. She tends to have an ostrich issue and if something unpleasant happens that she gets called out on she just pretends it never happened and forgets about it. Being the second time she has done it to me though is the last straw. It’s sad because with this one thing she has undone every nice thing she did for me over the last 3 months. She must of been on the phone to them as soon as I was diagnosed - she told them ages ago apparently!!

The frustrating thing about this is that it is done, and there's nothing you can do except take not for the future.  Now, let it go - rant, scream, hit something, meditate, but let it go.  You've got too much too worry about and their opinions are worth nothing to you.

Ah @"Kiwi Angel" I want to scream for you - it sounds like you've done a lot of that and more today. I stew and stew on things like this and re-live the anger every time I think about it so by giving you my 2cents worth, I'm going to be one of those really annoying 'do as I say, not as I do' people, it's always so much easier to give advice than to take it yourself, right?

Still, the one thing I want to add is that this is HER problem and she will be the ultimate loser in the end because you will now distance yourself from her and she won't have any more 'news' to spread in the future.

I always say to my kids when they come home upset or angry that no-one can has control over your emotions apart from you. Only you can dictate how you feel about something. People can do their very best to get you angry or upset - it never ceases to astound me that there are people who do everything they can to upset someone (How can that be fulfilling? Knowing that you have intentionally caused someone grief?) but ultimately it's up to you whether or not you let them. It can be SO HARD to keep control when someone has betrayed you - and if you can do that in public (then crumble in private) then you have WON and they have LOST because as far as they are concerned, they have NOT succeeded. As I said, this is way, way easier in theory than in practice but it sounds like you've totally got this now and have come out stronger for the experience. Go you! xxx

Thanks @primek xoxox

My sister contacted a brother I was estranged from and even distant cousins. I had people ringing me thinking I was dying. I too was angry about it but let it go. I had too much else to worry about. People do it for their own reasons...support, someone to worry with.  Don't waste anymore energy thinking about it lovely. X

@SoldierCrab - u r right - I had my cry, rant and wallow and I will move in leaving those who can’t support me and respect my wishes in my wake. 

it can be so frustrating  but I know you will pick yourself up and move on so to speak and will not allow this to interfere with your own life. 

@SoldierCrab I can actually hear my brother in law saying those exact words about me - hence why I didn’t want him to know as he doesn’t care. I will definately br distancing myself and she will only be told things on an absolutely need to know basis. 

ah Kiwi Angel I hear you girl my mother told my estranged brother and his then wife who is a Bitch with a capital B. her comment which my stupid mother repeated to me was I wish she dies.... needless to say I have nothing to do with them -my Brother or his ex wife, and My mother gets very limited information about my life.  I hear you it hurts you have a right to angry and hurt but like the others have said it is not worth holding onto as it is something you really don't have time or energy for while going through treatment. 
My actions now are I don't tell my mother the things that are important to my well-being as I know she will automatically tell others who I have asked her to not to tell. 


Soldiercrab

@kezmusc I think the major problems for me is that this is the second time she has thrown me under the bus with the brother in law and has no comprehension of that stuff up and then to be expressly asked not to say anything, then doing it, then getting caught out and then still not apologising or acknowledging she did anything wrong and just ignoring it is just too much for me. She is unfortunately the one I will now be distancing myself from. Through this whole experience only her and the dickhead doctor who mistakenly told me I had stage 4 cancer have been the only things to make me cry.