Betrayal

Hmmm.....family drama.  One thing I have learnt through the years of having a very large extended family is that if you tell someone not to say anything you can bet your ass they will.

There are two family members on my shit list, one brother in law and one aunt.  Somewhere along the line they both found out.  The aunt I especially didn't want to deal with.  She had BC about 4 years ago.  It didn't make her a nicer person and it didn't make me want to be her best friend when I was diagnosed.  She rang and rang and face booked me and messaged me.  I never replied to anything.  I did find out who told her.  That person was told what I thought and explained to me  how the conversation had come about.

After I stopped fuming about it I kind of figured that it really didn't matter.  What difference did it make? This was now part of me and them knowing didn't change anything.  These people are not part of my life, I still don't speak to them and I don't want to waste any of my time and energy worrying about it.  I guess it was just the principle of the matter that ticked me off.   

Try not to stress too much about it  @"Kiwi Angel"  you have too much else to concentrate on at the moment.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Thanks @RachelG I know - we have enough to worry about. 

So sorry to hear this @Kiwi Angel, families can be so trying at times and this is really the last thing you need with what you are already going through. Focus on yourself, any negative energy is not worth it  :)

 Big bear hug my TC sista xox

@kmakm so upset there the thing isn’t it - the sharing of the information is supposedly the only thing we have control over. She will not be told anything in the future. If I could of avoided telling her about this I would of cause I was worried this might happen xoxoxo 

Gargh! It makes me all stabby on your behalf! What disgraceful behaviour your mother-in-law has displayed. How dare she? Seriously, what makes her think she can betray her son's trust in that way? Let alone yours??

Steph, I am SO sorry this has happened to you. You have no control over this disease, the least you can expect is to control the dissemination of the information. All I can say is take some deep breaths and try to let it go. But note to self, when people show you who they are, believe them. Your mother-in-law has shown she can't be trusted. In the future, don't. K xox

It was my Mums way of keeping control.  She likes to be the one "in the know" that the family turns to because "Mum will know".   Dealing with her was the worst part of my cancer experience, she actually told me off multiple times because I was saying she couldn't tell anyone, and she was telling people  before I was even properly diagnosed.   

That was 3 years ago now, I just had a nice walk with her (and Dad) for Mothers Day.  Life's too short to be angry with them.  Focus on what is important at the moment, and that's you. 

@Zoffiel - I’m normally a cutter too might be harder in these circumstances though. My husband isn’t happy with her and it gonna let her know. Just got home and had a huge cry. When I found out I told her I can’t believe she did that when she was told not to and that I was really upset. Still no apology!!  

@Mira that’s horrible. Why do people think it is their business to spread around. Unfortunately with her I don’t think it is her way of dealing with it but just that it is something new for her to talk about as she has very limited conversational skills. 

Oh Kiwi Angel, its horrible when people do that.  My Mother promised not to tell anyone, then went around telling everyone behind my back!!  Including people that I had specifically asked her not to tell as I wanted to tell them myself.    Focus on yourself and what you need to do.   In the end I realised that although what Mum did was wrong, she was just dealing with it in her own way. It doesn't make it alright, but there's nothing we can do when stuff like that happens except look after ourselves.

Deep breaths. Some people are complete arseholes. These things do not happen by accident, it's a calculated act which tells you all you need to know about her. I'm the sort who cuts people like that out of my life, but that could be difficult if your husband is fond of her. Make a voodoo doll.