Forum Discussion

mfrizz's avatar
mfrizz
Member
11 years ago

anxiety

Hi, I have just joined this group.

I finished my treatment chemo and radiation by mid September (now on tamoxifen) But now I find I am more anxious than I ever was during the treatment!

Small things worry me, things that would usually never bother me. I have had a couple of dreams where I have been re diagnosed with cancer.

Does anyone else feel the same? I feel I should be celebrating, but it's like something is holding me back!

7 Replies

  • murielwhite's avatar
    murielwhite
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi I know how  you feel.   I have also just finished treatments, surgery, chemo, radiation and now hormone treatment.   I believe anxiety and depression are very common with BC and it seems to come after treatment and the general feeling is that when you go through the treatments you don't have much time to consider it all and its only when it finishes that the anxiety and depression occurs.   If it gets bad I would go and see your GP as short term anti depressants can be very helpful.   Good luck

  • finita's avatar
    finita
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi mfrizz,

    regarding the dreams, I had my first dream that I had cancer before I was diagnosed , and when I got the call I was not surprised but I was terrfiied , stunned and numb !  All the 3 have not yet left me, but time passes and we do somehow learn to move on , each in our own way and speed...just don't rush into anything!    I have had a couple of bad dreams since and woke up in a sweat and shaking ...the worst is not being able to tell my husband so as not to worry him, nor do I want to tell the family members either.    All we can do is talk about it here with all our bc sisters and that is a big bonus to be able to share. 

    take care and keep in touch,

    with love

    Finita

  • finita's avatar
    finita
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi Deanne, I was reading your comments and that is what I would have written myself...so true !

    I am due for my next check up , mammogram and u/s next February, and one just cannot get used it  ...I feel like I am still floating on cloud 14 , not knowing why, but somehow  life goes on regardless. I must add that I no longer worry about anything ,and I have the Arimidex to give thanks , as my memory is pretty bad and too busy dealing with pains and aches etc....  I have learnt  to live my life day by day by enjoying it and appreciating it much more than I used to before I got diagnosed.

    with love

    Finita xxxxxxxxx

  • mfrizz's avatar
    mfrizz
    Member
    11 years ago

    Thanks Ladies for your comments. It does help to know I am not alone in what I am feeling. I have a very supportive husband,  family and friends, so I am grateful,  but it's not the same as discussing it with others that have been through it! I will take on your advice and see how I go. Thanks again.

  • Deanne's avatar
    Deanne
    Member
    11 years ago
    I think that being diagnosed with and treated for BC is very traumatic. It forces us to confront the reality that life does not always go to plan and that one day it can be turned completely upside down. It is also really, really difficult when treatment ends. I kept waiting to feel relieved and happy and ready to resume life again but instead you feel a bit wrecked and very emotional. I wanted 'a moment' where I could feel like 'ok, that's over now I can feel safe and confident in my health again'. It just doesn't happen though. Instead there is this terrible uncertainty and lack of confidence. It is 20 months since diagnosis, over a year since active treatment ended and I guess at least I don't think about cancer as much. There are daily things (such as taking tamoxifen, getting dressed and giving myself a lymphatic massage) that are different because I had cancer. But I try to focus on the fact that I now understand that I need to look after my health and that I do so much to help myself stay healthy. I had to harness that fear and use it to make my life better. So when I feel a bit slack and don't want to exercise or plan some healthy meals, I think back to those chemo days and motivate myself to look after myself the right way. I find it reassuring to have people remark on how well I look. Something really awful happened to me and I know that it could happen again. But I am doing everything I can to stay healthy and I think knowing that helps me to live with that uncertainty. Just as we had no choice but to have treatment, now we have no choice but to find a way to live with uncertainty. In reality it is the same for everyone but without the confontation of a life threatening event, most of us just never think about it! None of us knows what the future holds but WE now know that life is very precious. Use that knowledge to help you find a way to live well. It will get easier, take care. Deanne xxx
  • Cook65's avatar
    Cook65
    Member
    11 years ago
    So sorry you are feeling this way. I haven't finished treatment yet but 1/2 way through chemo my anxiety levels went through the roof. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Things that normally would worry me, ie needles, were freaking me out. It turned out that I was suffering depression as well as high levels of anxiety. I'm now on medication and seeing a counsellor, both of which has helped tremendously. I actually don't think it is unreasonable for you to be feeling this way. Let's face it, none of us want to go through any of this every again but unfortunately there is a percentage of us who will. Get some professional help. Life is too short to be unhappy and worrying about things that might not even happen. I hope it eases off for you and that you are able to enjoy the new year. Xox Karen
  • Cook65's avatar
    Cook65
    Member
    11 years ago
    So sorry you are feeling this way. I haven't finished treatment yet but 1/2 way through chemo my anxiety levels went through the roof. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Things that normally would worry me, ie needles, were freaking me out. It turned out that I was suffering depression as well as high levels of anxiety. I'm now on medication and seeing a counsellor, both of which has helped tremendously. I actually don't think it is unreasonable for you to be feeling this way. Let's face it, none of us want to go through any of this every again but unfortunately there is a percentage of us who will. Get some professional help. Life is too short to be unhappy and worrying about things that might not even happen. I hope it eases off for you and that you are able to enjoy the new year. Xox Karen