Forum Discussion
After breast cancer and menapause
Hi, I would like to talk to anyone who has had problems with sex after breast cancer and menapause. I was diagnosed at 42 and at 47 and went through early menapause. I would like to hear from other ladies who have gone through similar and discuss if they have found any products that may have helped.
18 Replies
Yeah it would be pink, coz that's my fave colour.
- Hi everyone. I too have had a simular story and found that help for painful sex was non existant. Was also told that it was normal. I didnt take this lying down ( pun intended!) I saw a female doctor that was sympathetic and started using oveston creme but couldnt stand having to wash the damn applicator all the time so i switched to the vagifem pessary twice a week. we also use sylk lube and just plain old sweet almond oil ( health food shops). I like the almond oil the best as its an all natural product.Im a great believer in foreplay, you have to be ready to go the distance, so we like to play and touch and just take our time. I still have tearing issues most times but they are not too bad.Anyway have fun and enjoy yourself, get loose and relax, do all the things you think might be a bit unconventional and dont feel preasured into it. If your not ready he dosnt get to play either.
- Hi everyone. I too have had a simular story and found that help for painful sex was non existant. Was also told that it was normal. I didnt take this lying down ( pun intended!) I saw a female doctor that was sympathetic and started using oveston creme but couldnt stand having to wash the damn applicator all the time so i switched to the vagifem pessary twice a week. we also use sylk lube and just plain old sweet almond oil ( health food shops). I like the almond oil the best as its an all natural product.Im a great believer in foreplay, you have to be ready to go the distance, so we like to play and touch and just take our time. I still have tearing issues most times but they are not too bad.Anyway have fun and enjoy yourself, get loose and relax, do all the things you think might be a bit unconventional and dont feel preasured into it. If your not ready he dosnt get to play either.
- Hi everyone. I too have had a simular story and found that help for painful sex was non existant. Was also told that it was normal. I didnt take this lying down ( pun intended!) I saw a female doctor that was sympathetic and started using oveston creme but couldnt stand having to wash the damn applicator all the time so i switched to the vagifem pessary twice a week. we also use sylk lube and just plain old sweet almond oil ( health food shops). I like the almond oil the best as its an all natural product.Im a great believer in foreplay, you have to be ready to go the distance, so we like to play and touch and just take our time. I still have tearing issues most times but they are not too bad.Anyway have fun and enjoy yourself, get loose and relax, do all the things you think might be a bit unconventional and dont feel preasured into it. If your not ready he dosnt get to play either.
- I can just picture you now with a hot pink zimmer frame racing down the road or maybe a red one cause it goes faster!!!!!!! Zooooooooom oh I blinked and I missed her, shucks!!!MICH XOXOXO
- You made me laugh Bella with the Randy bit but I know where you are coming from. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus and I guess the Randy bit comes from Mars and never quite reached Venus. (sorry it may have reached a few of the lovely ladies that were living on the outskirts of Venus at the time. hee hee LOL.I believe for some couples and males in particular that sex is what a relationship is all about BUT!! there are so many men, like your hubby who love you no matter what and definitely live in the fear of hurting you so they don't want to go there cause they don't want to cause you any further pain.This whole relationship, sex, libido, love, affection, trust, faith, heartache, desire, no desire, oh ok then but hurry up and get it over with.............. and so it goes on and on and on manages to put so much pressure on relationships and on us as individuals and for men, well my man especially his way of showing me how much he loves me is with making love, not mad passionate love, but love that means something and feels something and makes us feel special, important and to remind us that we are the person he chose to spend the rest of his life with. BUT!!!! once again BC diagnosis seems to have taken that away. I think it is something that we all do need to think about and work on but when we are feeling so ill, so fatigued, so frightened, stressed, lonely and all those other emotions that take over with a diagnois of BC THEN love making seems to just go on the back burner but hopefully for all of us beautiful and wonderful pink sisters it will sneak back in to our lives one day without us even noticing. Fingers crossed.Lots of love, always, Mich xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
- Thank you Kathy for your honesty it is much appreciated and helpful.Mich xoxoxo
It's an unjust world isn't it. They say life begins in your forties but mine went downhill.
Maybe something can be done in the future but by that time I'll probably be on a walking frame lol
Thanks for your help
Re Ovestin Cream... Gynaecologist told me.. " a sixth of an application twice a week. " The dose delivered with the cream is small... about : |____| this much, so 1/6 th of an application would be about : |_| Not a lot, but may help around opening of vagina with dryness. ( Need to wash applicator between each use.)
There is also Vagifem pessaries ( no need to wash applicator as they come pre packed and with separate applications )... again..twice a week..slow release.
Use either one, or the other, or perhaps alternate between the two, ? I use them and also SYLK lubricant.
My tumour was oestrogen" negative " first time around, then oestrogen "equivocal "...
I have found now, since flushes are now settled, that things can improve a bit, though at times I do not like being " touched at all. " Excitement can take longer and is maybe not as frequent with desire nor as strong, so take things slowly... etc..but you can find ways around things, and to be intimate.( Music, soft lighting, warm bath, massage) Physical Intimacy seems important for the man.. and woman too I guess.. in that she wants to feel atractive to her partner, and it can help feelings of wellbeing and being " connected." Humour and honesty can go a long way too.
I am not saying I have the perfect answer. The issues for me are ongoing with dryness and libido, but I try and find ways around things. You are still YOU and worthy of being loved and cared for. Your partner needs to have their needs heard and cared about too.
It IS a hell of a change though.. or can be for some. I was also 42 and had early menopause following lumpectomy and chemo, then another lumpectomy at 47... ie : 1998 and 2003.
It is now 10 years since last lumpectomy and radiation, with sentinel node biopsy. I became divorced, but have met a nice older than me, man the last three years. It is based on humour, friendship and honesty, plus trust etc. There are ongoing issues with dryness and libido, and it is difficult at times. There is also vaginal atrophy.. to deal with and some odour issues. We persevere.. LOL...
Other issues also... like strength, cholesterol increasing..low Vit D at present.... Do not give up.. you have come this far..
Kathy.
