Hi ladies.This might seem daft but it has been on my mind for quite some time.I was chatting to my daughter this morning and we were talking about something that happened last year and I said when I was sick. Then I said I wasn't really sick.So I was just wondering how do you lovely ladies refer to yourself after you had the operation but went through chemo and radiation.Hugs to you allJan xx

@onemargie, what a disappointment, I always thought that bright red stuff was red wine, they were giving us.I'm starting a new chemo tomorrow but dont know what colour it will be. Maybe just a white wine. Lol. Please excuse my humour.

I just said when I'd had cancer. Wasn't physically sick, or indeed much limited in what I could do so saying I was sick just confused people. Had cancer, always past tense. It pays to advertise.

I didn't have vomiting or nausea during chemo, but was hospitalised twice for neutropenia and a PE and pneunomia. Even then I didn't feel "sick", just in pain - which still exists from my axillary clearance scar. I still have 2 rads to go and herceptin till September. I equate being sick with something like the flu. Even with severe diarrhoea during neutropenia I still saw it as a side effect. I don't know what I will say if anyone asks as I think of it as having an operation and then preventative treatment. I might just say I had an op and treatment. I'm not in denial ... I don't think! It just feels as though I had stuff 'done to me' that wasn't particularly pleasant, with a few stuff ups thrown in for good measure. My lumpectomy was last June and I think I said elsewhere that I recall women saying that during birth, it was awful, but later on they started to forget the pain. I feel like I am already forgetting what I know was a horrible interlude. I don't call it my 'journey', no offense to those who do. I just imagine a journey as something nice! During the whole thing, I would say that I suffered most miserably and psychologically with immediate family members. That was the most sickening part of the experience. I found out very late in the piece that if you are having problems in this area, you need to get help asap from a counsellor or social worker, and your good friends. You may have to take time out from negative family dynamic however you can. I live with extended family so had to keep myself fairly isolated from them, not engage in any conflict, put myself first and even give up or give in to things that were not worth fighting for because of the emotional backlash. I think in retrospect your self care psychologically is paramount...people probably cause more pain than the disease. Thank God we have sites like this and other kind people out there and good friends.xxx

Hey there Janny, I just called it chemo, and called my at home solitary confinement. When I lost my hair, I called it low maintenance. Have to keep your sense of humour.And remember, there are no silly questions here, just support, advice and fellowship.Cuddles, Trace

Lol it's funny how we all react differently to different phrases. I wonder if it is our age groups or experiences or who knows what? I think for me it seems a 'New Age' sort of term (but that's just me) and I hear it a lot from my sister who has all sorts of journeys involving things metaphysical...gongs, bowls, chanting etc. But if she's happy and it doesn't involve human sacrifices, each to their own! I'd like a journey through Europe, personally. I'm glad it's not called 'your ordeal' though! "How's your ordeal going?" doesn't sound great. I'm quite interested in the words we use to try and describe how we deal with cancer. It seems to have it's own vocab that's been built around a word that people don't want to hear out loud ... 'the Big C' is slowly being rephrased. A friend responded to my diagnosis with "well it's not a death sentence anymore" and I really hadn't thought of death yet so I was unhappy with that response. I guess it's hard for people to know what to say but I would rather "I'm sorry to hear that" or "oh sh5t! what can I do?" 'Survivor" is another tricky one for me personally but only because of family connections to Hitler's death camps. But something like surviving that is so far away from our own daily individual battles that it's apples and oranges. I think we are all surviving on a daily basis sometimes. And to throw in some C&W, "Some days are diamonds, some days are stone." Last rad tomorrow!

This might seem silly. | BCNA Online Network

51 Replies

Anonymous
Not applicable
8 years ago
How frustrating Blondie, it's so hard when you don't hear or get put on hold.
Do you normally work ?
Blondy
Member
8 years ago
I referred to it since my Sept diagnosis as a 'blip on my radar' and I'll get back to normal by April. Ive had surgery and chemo. Radiotherapy was suppised to start 5th march but still havent been notified so there goes April.
I shall now look firward to May
Anonymous
Not applicable
8 years ago
That's a great decision Joannie, look after yourself and don't push it, you'll recover much quicker
Anonymous
Not applicable
8 years ago
The user and all related content has been deleted.
Afraser
Member
8 years ago
Sometimes it takes something dramatic to work out how disfunctional the "normal" life may be. Just moving to a four day week and not picking up other people's dropped tasks made a massive difference to me.
Anonymous
Not applicable
8 years ago
The user and all related content has been deleted.
kmakm
Member
8 years ago
@viking1 I feel very much interrupted. I'm sure pretty much all of us do/did.
viking1
Member
8 years ago
@Sister - sure, go ahead! It's very apt. I'd quite like to read "Girl...Interrupted" but imagine it's pretty intense after seeing the movie. Even though it's set in the past it's still really relevant. @SoldierCrab...good on you for doing the relay! How did you go and was it a good day out? Where is the walk going to be? I hope I didn't put you off with my Great Wall story. The lady who told the tale had such a good sense of humour and said she didn't intend to nearly knock herself off whilst paying tribute to her sister! She had a very touching story and said she and her other sister quit their jobs to look after the sister with terminal cancer so that she could remain at home. I'm sure there are lots of amazing stories out there.
Sister
Member
8 years ago
@viking1 Quilting for cancer! Has quite a ring to it! Can I borrow your suggestion of "Woman, Interrupted" at some time. Although, I wish I'd thought of it - it would have been a great title for my last blog entry (which was heavily based around my comments
SoldierCrab
Member
8 years ago
Ladies going through treatment is Crap at the best of times...... and NO you dont have to stay positive or joke 24/7 I was a basketcase after I finished treatment it took me time to process and get through the emotional onslaught of a diagnosis etc.

Today I am going to relay for life for the first time ... (I am over 5yrs since diagnosis) I am anxious about how I will cope with the survivor walk etc.... but I am also grabbing onto life again and refusing to be a victim of BC I fought the Bitch and I Won she is in the gutter where she belongs....

BE gentle with yourselves and allow your emotional and mental health to recover from the onslaught that a diagnosis brings.

Hugs
Soldier Crab