Forum Discussion
The Ghost of Christmas Past
This time two years ago I began to suspect something wasn't right, then on the night of Christmas eve I found my definite lump.
I still remember staring shocked into the ceiling, the darkness was a muted summer yellow.
I have that same 'something is really wrong' feeling and just wanted to talk it out with an audience.
Coming up to my one year all-clear with a mammogram soon.
I started getting arm pain right above my elbow on the tricep earlier this week. I thought I'd slept on the muscle funny.
Now it's an oval shape, white and swollen (raised) with the surrounding area reddened and extremely tender.
So I'm freaking out a bit, because it's so indicative of distressed cubital nodes, which golly gee is a sign of breast cancer - and it's on the same side.
I try so hard not to leap to "It's cancer" every time something goes wrong with me. I fainted in my kitchen just because I had a cold a few weeks ago and just shrugged it off thanks to the big C log ride experience etc. but this one got to me. The recurrence fear is less a mouse nibbling at my night thoughts than a huge dark figure stuck in my peripheral vision every waking hour.
I'll see the doctor ASAP, but in the meantime my brain is just ticking over with 'you have it again, you have it again, you have it again' anxiety.
My otherwise great partner's reaction to my worries was to bald faced tell me to stop overreacting because I don't look sick. So I'm also here to complain about that. Haha, somebody doesn't remember I looked healthier than kale when I first found my tumor. Zero points on that one buddy.
I still remember staring shocked into the ceiling, the darkness was a muted summer yellow.
I have that same 'something is really wrong' feeling and just wanted to talk it out with an audience.
Coming up to my one year all-clear with a mammogram soon.
I started getting arm pain right above my elbow on the tricep earlier this week. I thought I'd slept on the muscle funny.
Now it's an oval shape, white and swollen (raised) with the surrounding area reddened and extremely tender.
So I'm freaking out a bit, because it's so indicative of distressed cubital nodes, which golly gee is a sign of breast cancer - and it's on the same side.
I try so hard not to leap to "It's cancer" every time something goes wrong with me. I fainted in my kitchen just because I had a cold a few weeks ago and just shrugged it off thanks to the big C log ride experience etc. but this one got to me. The recurrence fear is less a mouse nibbling at my night thoughts than a huge dark figure stuck in my peripheral vision every waking hour.
I'll see the doctor ASAP, but in the meantime my brain is just ticking over with 'you have it again, you have it again, you have it again' anxiety.
My otherwise great partner's reaction to my worries was to bald faced tell me to stop overreacting because I don't look sick. So I'm also here to complain about that. Haha, somebody doesn't remember I looked healthier than kale when I first found my tumor. Zero points on that one buddy.
17 Replies
- InkPetal said:
I started getting arm pain right above my elbow on the tricep earlier this week. I thought I'd slept on the muscle funny.
Now it's an oval shape, white and swollen (raised) with the surrounding area reddened and extremely tender.
So I'm freaking out a bit,
@InkPetal just checking in and saying Hello and like @primek and @SoldierCrab and others on here, just wondering did you get an appointment to find out what the rash was about? Take care and sending you a virtual hug x - @InkPetal Just wondering how you are doing today?
I know you are struggling beautiful @InkPetal
we are here we will hold your hand as you go through this time ,,,, NOW get to the Doctors ASAP <3- Mostly likely nothing as bad as the cancer so see your gp and get peace of mind. You sound a bit run down so I would suggest taking Vitamin C daily. Remember, today's foods only have half the nutrients they did 100 years ago and I think the Vitamin C might be one of those we just don't get enough of nowadays.
BTW partners don't get a vote. Mine told me the same thing for 6 months before I finally went against him and saw the doc for the original cancer diagnosis. I had just spent 3 years (physically myself) renovating a 1904 house, putting in floors, walls and ceilings as well as tiling, painting, putting in new window frames, the lot. I was very fit then. Hubby got used to running a house day to day himself at that time with cleaning things so it put him in good stead to be my carer when I got the cancer. - Thinking of you @InkPetal. Anxiety we all know! Hope all is well.
- Hi Inkpetal big huggs im waving a magic wand from afar...cant add any more as dear lovelies so far have added so much <3 and super support xo b
- Hey Beautiful girl ... @InkPetal
OK so I got the flu a few weeks ago ..... after having a flu shot like normal in May.
anyways you know I have lymphodema in my left arm well I have therapy on it weekly and it was just not feeling right last week I said my therapist I think that infection has mucked up my lymhaodema again ... she agreed by Sat I had a lump soft under my armpit..... went to after hours doctor sure enough it had set off reactions in my arm ... so antibiotics and now today my arm had to be re-bandaged to try to help stop it swelling even more as I cant get my sleeve (compression) on....
So get it checked out my head the first time I got the swelling was immediately on the OMG OMG it has returned but no it was just an infection caused because our bodies go through so much that afterwards dealing with a common cold can send it into a spin...
Breathe let the anxiety go as much as you can.... See the GP or specialist asap
as for the boy.... HIT him with a lump of 4x2 and ask him if he feels any different ;) ;)
Men can be so nonchalant about our health and their own....
I hear the anxiety and I want to send you the fairy dust to sprinkle you with love and peace but alas they stole it from me.
Breathe let the anxiety go as much as you can.... See the GP or specialist asap
as for the boy.... HIT him with a lump of 4x2 and ask him if he feels any different ;) ;)
Men can be so nonchalant about our health and their own....
I hear the anxiety and I want to send you the fairy dust to sprinkle you with love and peace but alas they stole it from me.
Hugs and energy to get through this Bek
Alice xoxox - I didn't realise how close our diagnosis was Bec. I was with family away at Xmas... awaiting pathology results and putting on a stiff upper lip as we coped with my SIL dying that week. It was emotional hell and I never want it to return. Some days I believe I am cured. Other days I believe I will eventually die of breast cancer. Hypervigilent we will forever be. But following through with investigation despite it is important. Hope your day went well. Kath x
- Hi gorgeous will we ever be free of that fear? Aches pains our thoughts go there its human its past memories its overactive brains. I hope you get to the dr soon and can put your mind at peace. That bloody bc rack off. Adean
