I had borderline ovarian cancer 15 years ago after nearly 20 months of the worst stress of my life.I separated from my husband and had 2 children to raise as a single Mum,consequently I also lost our mutual friends as I didn't want to see him in social situations.My job that I loved

Like everyone else, I have opinions but not so many facts. I think we can reasonably say that smoking heightens your chances of cancer, but if my grandfather is anything to go by, doesn't always cause it (decades of pipe smoking - lived to 93 - could have had lung, throat, mouth cancer but died as his heart stopped of old age). Alcohol, other carcinogens and stress may also be contributing factors, but again not causes in themselves. We do know that cancer cells are opportunistic, metastasise and are not so easy to kill as we would like. So seems reasonable to me that the factors that lead one person to get cancer and another not to aren't one cause, but the hard to predict result of multiple contributing factors. What we can say is stress isn't good for us in general terms. Unfortunately it can take something like cancer to make some of us really accept that. I haven't had a history of terrible things to bear, far from it, a very fortunate life, but it took me to post cancer counseling to realise that my idea of a normal pace of life was far from normal!! But every lesson learned is worthwhile, whenever it happens. As is every extra year.

Just briefly had glandular fever when I was 14, Chronic fatigue between 2009 and just coming out of it in February 2013 then diagnosed with Metastatic breast cancer in June, I had early ovarian cancer at age 29,{1984} surgery and radioactive phosphorous, then a vaginal hysterectomy, 2 years on the IVF programme, marriage breakdown, and the list goes on, I truly believe that chronic stress was a contributing factor for most of the illness"s that I have had over my lifetime, thankfully now after learning various strategies which have taken a long time to put in to place STRESS is now out of my life I , I have been very fortunate to have had fantastic doctors all along the way, but it has taken many years to work everything out and put everything in its place, my head is in a good space now, I do have the odd day when I struggle to keep on top of things but am very grateful for what I do have,life is challenging at the best of times, never mind throw in metastatic breast cancer, however I truly believe that I can now cope with anything!!! My own mother passed away from Non Hodgkins Lymphoma, and again I believe that chronic stress over many many years was a contributing factor,we women have so much to deal with over our lifetimes, and we manage very well, however it does take a toll on our physical and mental health and I believe that my immune system became so compromised that I was a disaster waiting to happen and along came breast cancer, I could not believe it!!!, however everyday is a gift to me , I have built a house for my son, have seen my grandaughter turn 16, make her debut, my son get married, and have so much to look forward to, I dont think about my prognosis, in fact my oncologist has not given me one and has said he doesnt intend to!!Wendy55

I had been hauled backwards through the whole local government restructuring process and was made redundant after 15 years the job. Which I also loved. My recurrence was diagnosed 6 weeks later, even though I had been banging away about being unhappy about a spot in my armpit for 4 years. My original diagnosis (ten years earlier) came after a similar protracted investigation process; in the end I had a relationship breakdown and the resultant weight loss that made the lump/not lump thing more obvious. Lobular BC is an absolute bitch when it comes to hiding from scans.It may be stress. Thing is, I think the need to blame something can be seriously counterproductive. Once cancer is your new nasty neighbour it doesn't help to try and figure out how you could have stopped it moving in. You're stuck with either living with them, legislating them out, moving out or planting a serious garden. Attacking the real estate agent won't help.MMM, mixed metaphors, much? Margxx

I wondered if my horridly stressed few years that left me with mental exhaustion caused my bc. However I'll never know. What I do know is now I am looking after myself...mind and body...and try to put myself first. Breast cancer has taught me that.I can't change what's happened. I'm focussing on how I respond to stress now and in the future.

@Primek I agree with you totally, I also agree with @Zoffiel that it serves no purpose to look at food, diet, exercise or anything else that may have caused this. For me what I do know are the things that were happening in my life at both times were very very stressful, so what BC has done since then has helped me stop putting me last instead I'm first and nurturing so much more. ..Something I'd never done because circumstances had it that I had to be Superwoman for my kids, and my siblings and Dad...there was no room for me in all those years. So when I say be kind to you...for me its very different these days. I sort of imagine being wrapped up by my Mum like when I was little if she were here, but I do it for myself sometimes. This has been the most pivotal in all of it, absolutely nothing else...have that wine, cake, chocolate whatever it is...enjoy!!! xx M

Stress do you think it was a factor in getting BC?

melclarity
Member
8 years ago
@Kombigirl I think your post cut half of it off??

I think Stress is most likely one of the most common themes when you talk to most of us. I feel it was a massive part of what happened with me than anything else. I lost my Mum suddenly 8 years ago, a year later I lost my marriage too. I had to start again with my 2 children who were 11 and 13 at the time. Having to move home as my home was sold, work full time and raise them as well, certainly wasn't easy, 6 months out on my own I got my 1st diagnosis...hmmm. 4yrs after that I had a recurrence and the only common thing that remained was life had been stressful, with not much support at all. So what I learnt for me was to put work 2nd, I stopped killing myself trying to be Wonder Woman, working full time, raising my 2 beautiful children. Now that they are older, I put me first when I can. I nurture me more than I ever had before and acknowledge who I am. I dont do extravagant things, I just enjoy quiet things that soothe my soul. Peace for me when I need it. My kids are my world and Im still super Mum to them but I have more of a balance where I nurture me now.

Hugs Melinda xo
Kombigirl
Member
8 years ago
Me too Melinda, my post got cut off before, but to add to my post. I lost my job that I loved due to the owners selling after 30 years. I lost friends that I thought were real. I struggled with a lot of emotions and kept trying to be Miss perfect for way too long.
Until my Ovarian cancer diagnosis. A lot has changed since then that was 15 years ago.
But once again I find myself in a position of way too many stresses in a reasonably short period of time. And Lord and behold now I have Breast Cancer.
I can't help but feel stress has been my major contributor once again.
This time it's purely emotional and health wise and not so much financial and security based as earlier.
But nevertheless the emotional situations throughout the last year or so have (particularly relating to family relationships) really once again, taken its toll on me.
melclarity
Member
8 years ago
Yes I agree, my lack of support wasnt financial as I had a settlement, little did I know that settlement was going to dwindle away having to support us all due to 2 diagnosis within 4yrs. I lost alot of friends too, but gee Ive gained some great ones since!!! The forum is awesome! so incredibly giving and supportive here as we just get it!

Be kind to you x
Zoffiel
Member
8 years ago
I had been hauled backwards through the whole local government restructuring process and was made redundant after 15 years the job. Which I also loved. My recurrence was diagnosed 6 weeks later, even though I had been banging away about being unhappy about a spot in my armpit for 4 years.
My original diagnosis (ten years earlier) came after a similar protracted investigation process; in the end I had a relationship breakdown and the resultant weight loss that made the lump/not lump thing more obvious. Lobular BC is an absolute bitch when it comes to hiding from scans.
It may be stress. Thing is, I think the need to blame something can be seriously counterproductive. Once cancer is your new nasty neighbour it doesn't help to try and figure out how you could have stopped it moving in. You're stuck with either living with them, legislating them out, moving out or planting a serious garden. Attacking the real estate agent won't help.
MMM, mixed metaphors, much? Margxx
primek
Member
8 years ago
I wondered if my horridly stressed few years that left me with mental exhaustion caused my bc.

However I'll never know.

What I do know is now I am looking after myself...mind and body...and try to put myself first. Breast cancer has taught me that.

I can't change what's happened. I'm focussing on how I respond to stress now and in the future.
Jenny66
Member
8 years ago
Stress can cause heaps of problems, so maybe, but stress can come in many forms, my surgeon gave me a lecture as I waited till I was 51 to have my first mammogram instead of doing it when I was 50, but he didn't factor in my life that I nearly lost my mum to cancer and was helping to look after her that year, the kids dad had a heart attack and reacted to the drugs and went into a coma for a month and my health was put on the back burner as I didn't have time for me, but I guess that's life and my mum is still alive and so is the kids dad
lgray3911
Member
8 years ago
My husband survived a helicopter crash 10months before my diagnosis and my baby was in and out of hospital for a month over Christmas with suspected pneumonia and we went through hell for months The most stress I have ever been. I had a 3yr old and a 6mth old at the time and our good friend who was the pilot died in the crash. Was that stress something that contributed to my diagnosis who knows?!?
melclarity
Member
8 years ago

primek said:

I wondered if my horridly stressed few years that left me with mental exhaustion caused my bc.

However I'll never know.

What I do know is now I am looking after myself...mind and body...and try to put myself first. Breast cancer has taught me that.

I can't change what's happened. I'm focussing on how I respond to stress now and in the future.
melclarity
Member
8 years ago
@Primek I agree with you totally, I also agree with @Zoffiel that it serves no purpose to look at food, diet, exercise or anything else that may have caused this.

For me what I do know are the things that were happening in my life at both times were very very stressful, so what BC has done since then has helped me stop putting me last instead I'm first and nurturing so much more. ..Something I'd never done because circumstances had it that I had to be Superwoman for my kids, and my siblings and Dad...there was no room for me in all those years. So when I say be kind to you...for me its very different these days. I sort of imagine being wrapped up by my Mum like when I was little if she were here, but I do it for myself sometimes.

This has been the most pivotal in all of it, absolutely nothing else...have that wine, cake, chocolate whatever it is...enjoy!!!

xx M
iserbrown
Member
8 years ago
@Kombigirl

I think most of us can relate and say leading into a diagnosis life was extremely stressful! I firmly believe the stresses of life were a contributor to my diagnosis. Is it the reason for It? That is like a $64 question; who knows but, however, I firmly believe, as I said before, it was a contributing factor. Now, if stress starts to creep in it gets knocked well and truly on the head!
BC diagnosis teaches us lots of things, a heightened awareness of our bodies so hence every creak, ache, twinge we are concerned about and concerned it is a recurrence et cetera and an awareness of our own well being, the company we like to keep or not keep. I had a good friend, or at least I thought she was a good friend, of 40 years that I lost in this process but it turned out it was no real loss, I just don't need that kind of friendship!
Your well being awareness teaches, as @melclarity said earlier, "...So what I learnt for me was to put work 2nd, I stopped killing myself trying to be Wonder Woman, working full time, raising my 2 beautiful children........I put me first when I can. I nurture me more than I ever had before and acknowledge who I am...."
Take care x