Forum Discussion
Self conscious about wig
Hi, went to the cancer council wig library 2 days ago with my bestie and my partner. Found a nice wig that I and my 2 support people really liked. Was so excited, so much so that my partner said that was the happiest he'd seen me in ages. Decided to go out for lunch yesterday and wear it in public for first time. When I put it on, a thought jumped into my head. I started thinking 'everyone will know'. I just kept fiddling with it which wasn't helping at all. When we arrived at lunch I was sure everybody was looking at me, my partner assured me they weren't. Still kept fiddling, my partner said 'stop doing that or you will draw attention'. I was completely out of my comfort zone, more so than when i wear my scarf of turban. I just felt this compulsion to keep checking it. I was quite down when we arrived home and wondered how something that I think looked good one day didn't the next? I don't plan on wearing it too much at the moment because of the heat, but I'm thinking I may have to wear it when I return to work down the track, I just don't see how I will get the confidence to do that. Do you get used to it eventually? Then I started thinking that when my hair starts to grow back, is their an awkward time, an in between time, when you don't know whether to wear one or go au natural? Oops, forgot my 'one day at a time' mantra. Too far ahead of myself, the issue is not a priority. Just want some cofidence when I venture out of the house, hope everyone is faring well out there,
Hazel xx
31 Replies
Thanks Paula....I did have a good head for chemo!
- Even though I didn't wear mine heaps it was invaluable at work. It's not that I was embarrassed about my BC. But as a professional needed to be able to do my job without spending most of my day explaining my BC to others and also ultimately comforting them and reassuring them that I was ok. It was also lovely to have for the wedding I went to. Apart from that I was really comfortable in my bandana. I loved them and never felt awkward in them. The trick is to be confidant in whatever you wear. I once went out to dinner in my wig. Half way through the night the waiter(who was bald) came up to me and asked me what shampoo I used as my hair was so shiny!!!Apparently the other waitresses were commenting on my lovely hair. Well the poor guy, my girlfriends and I all burst out laughing and I told him I had the same hairdo as him!!! He was embarrassed but I assured him it was ok. My wig was expensive, but on the occasions I wore it, I felt good in it. I think I was lucky as I felt ok in both the wig and the bandanas. In North Queensland it was just too hot for the wig all the time. I was never as brave as Sam to go completely bald. Mind you Sam looks amazing bald. Good luck. Paula :)
I think I'll wait and see. I, too, work with the general public as a bar attendant, gaming attendant. All of my regular customers will know it's a wig, I have worked there for so long, they are quite protective of me so I don't expect any harsh remarks. I figure strangers won't know for sure. When I return to work I expect I will be very nervous. At the moment I feel more comfortable in scarves. You're right Janey, I am conquering BC and that's the most important issue. Definitely, one day at a time. Cheers ladies,
Hazel xx
Hi Hazel,
I have 2 wigs, 1 was exactly what I was before chemo, long & black. The other was a copy of my daughters hair, long and dark blonde....same as what I was before I started colouring it when I was 17. Together, I spent $700 on them.
I felt like a GOOSE with them on! I just knew people were looking at me, there was no telling me otherwise. In my 6 months of baldness, I wore them no more than 4 times, & if I did, it was with a beanie over the top of them (it was winter). I was more comfortable with people looking at me with a scarf wrapped around my head. Maybe because if felt like I was faking it, rather than being real about what was going on.
When spring hit, I just start going out bald! I realised that if people wanted to look, then they can look. I wasn't ashamed of having BC or being bald. It was kind of liberating.
I did look pretty hot with the blonde one now that I look back. It's funny the things we think :)
Sending cyber hugs, Sam xoxoxox
Hi Hazel,
I have 2 wigs, 1 was exactly what I was before chemo, long & black. The other was a copy of my daughters hair, long and dark blonde....same as what I was before I started colouring it when I was 17. Together, I spent $700 on them.
I felt like a GOOSE with them on! I just knew people were looking at me, there was no telling me otherwise. In my 6 months of baldness, I wore them no more than 4 times, & if I did, it was with a beanie over the top of them (it was winter). I was more comfortable with people looking at me with a scarf wrapped around my head. Maybe because if felt like I was faking it, rather than being real about what was going on.
When spring hit, I just start going out bald! I realised that if people wanted to look, then they can look. I wasn't ashamed of having BC or being bald. It was kind of liberating.
I did look pretty hot with the blonde one now that I look back. It's funny the things we think :)
Sending cyber hugs, Sam xoxoxox
I felt the same about my wig.I felt fake and selfconscious wearing it -not to mention hot and itchy! I basically used it for any night out events when I knew it was only for a few hours.I mostly wore caps,bandanas and scarves.When my hair got to buzz cut stage,I swapped over to headbands which were cooler but still offered security.Infact,I made lots of headbands to match my clothes.You can also fold bandanas down to form a band and tie at the back.You just have to go with what makes you feel comfortable.You'll work it out. Tonya xx
- I had typed you a reply but lost power here and lost my reply as well. Didn't get power back on for an hour so I've forgotten what I said :( Suffice it to say that I was going to get a wig and actually had picked one out that my mum and sister said looked really good but it was itchy and felt hot so I decided just to go with scarves. When I first ventured out without hair, I was very self conscious believing that everyone was looking at me. I almost turned around and went home again. But my husband said that I was being silly and nobody cared but me. Yes I thought it is just me and who cares about anyone else. I decided to really make my scarves interesting and colourful and I actually got a lot of compliments on them. So in the end it's your own thoughts that count. Your are conquering your BC so you can do this. Don't worry about anyone else but you. Love Janey xxx
- I had typed you a reply but lost power here and lost my reply as well. Didn't get power back on for an hour so I've forgotten what I said :( Suffice it to say that I was going to get a wig and actually had picked one out that my mum and sister said looked really good but it was itchy and felt hot so I decided just to go with scarves. When I first ventured out without hair, I was very self conscious believing that everyone was looking at me. I almost turned around and went home again. But my husband said that I was being silly and nobody cared but me. Yes I thought it is just me and who cares about anyone else. I decided to really make my scarves interesting and colourful and I actually got a lot of compliments on them. So in the end it's your own thoughts that count. Your are conquering your BC so you can do this. Don't worry about anyone else but you. Love Janey xxx
- When l did the Worllds Greatest Shave in 2012, l bought 12 wigs of all different styles & colours. I was so sure l'd hate having a shaved head & woild want to cover it, & l wanted to have different hair every day! But, when l shaved my head, l got so many compliments on how great l looked & l actually loved it. I hated covering it at all. The wigs never came out of the bags! To me, they looked fake. Now l'm having chemo & am totally bald, l thought l might wear the wigs. But, l hate covering it up even more! I love my bald head, & look for ways to adorn it ie. head jewellry, henna tattoos, instead of hiding it. I want to make the most of it, instead of pretending its not thhere. So, like you, l found the wigs fun to try on & play with, but couldn't go through with it in "real life". I'd rather go without anything at all!
Hi Hazel,
I have worn my wig once for a couple of hours. The whole time I had it on I felt self concious and kept fiddling with the wig just like you. I am happy to wear my head scarves, hats etc and don't feel at all self concious. My hairdresser friend offered to trim my wig for me but it is still sitting in it box.
At the end of the day you have to be comfortable.
