Reconstruction not what I was told to expect.
I’m near the end after a double mastectomy 2 and a half years ago with failed reconstruction. 10 operations later and I have died flap reconstruction 4 or 5 rounds of fat grafting (I’ve lost count), t...
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My mother and some aunts and second cousins have had the gene testing done. No braca but definitely genetic. I was told to get it done urgently 2 and a half years ago… still haven’t. Was too overwhelmed and the idea of passing this onto my daughter is too awful. My partner doesn’t work so I can’t afford more time off if I did need a hysterectomy and I’m not sure I could cope emotionally with more trauma.
While I place a lot of importance on my appearance it was also on being healthy and fit. I now can’t do much gardening, open a jar or hug anyone properly… so many things are limited or not possible now. I wasn’t warned or prepared for this.
My partner is supportive but also brutally honest at times. Driving me home after the first lot of implants I was still a bit drugged and said something about being able to finally wear a dress or normal clothes. His response was “maybe not yet but the surgeon isn’t finished yet”.
The surgeon is almost finish and I feel incomplete unattractive and sick to death of wearing high neck clothes. I miss the beach. Mostly I miss feeling normal and not scared of what people can see. I’ve had some pretty awful responses from people men and woman when I bend over or my scared stomach shows. It’s painful.
The surgeon is almost finish and I feel incomplete unattractive and sick to death of wearing high neck clothes. I miss the beach. Mostly I miss feeling normal and not scared of what people can see. I’ve had some pretty awful responses from people men and woman when I bend over or my scared stomach shows. It’s painful.