Reconstruction completion date

Kath, what a journey and of course close to the end it makes you reflective, absolutely!! its all part of it and its strange isnt it you wondre how you muddled your way through to this point, and yet you did and have, testament to your courage and strength. Time to look forward and embrace the point of no return, forever changed absolutely, but healthy. Gee I listen to you and Nikki, OMG I havent shifted a thing since Chemo and I hate it!!! I was working with the exercise physiologist but we were only stretching getting me ready, I need to lose about 6kg uuugh drives me insane! Im unsure when I can start to do a little to be honest at 3.5 weeks post surgery now still very sore :/ 

I found since I had surgery I only cried once, when I had my first shower at home and I had to sit and had to get my partner to hand me the towel and was devastated not wanting him to see the state I was in surgically. I had a hard time leading into it as you all recall...but thats it finished, hasnt phased me since. I just kept focusing on what my Psychologist talked about and how we develop such attachment to every part of ourselves, no matter what we lose we are still in essence the exact same. I dont know this really helped me accept and acknowledge I absolutely loved my boobs all my life they were awesome, but people love me for who I am not what I look like and whilst we all know that, we still have perceptions of ourselves. For me it was about remaining feminine regardless and the last few days for no reason HAHA Ive put on my makeup and glammed up just for me...too funny! 

Hugs Melinda xo 

Hugs girl .... you would also be a bit tired from Summit as it was a full on time.... awesome time but full on.... 
your poem is beautiful and the tears flowing are a healthy sign that you are allowing yourself to acknowledge the process that Breast Cancer has thrust upon you... 

Big hugs and energy to keep acknowledging these emotions and to heal as you do. 
 <3 

Naww Kath, don't you just hate it when grief catches you out like that? Sorry BNCA but I couldn't stand the smell or the look of the pink buns last year. It was too soon since my mastectomy and I was feeling fragile. Keep on Kath, your goal is in sight to completion. Look forward to it, not back. <3

Hi Kath, I understand: I'm having a DIEP reconstruction of my left breast next Tuesday (28/3) and I've been experiencing similar emotions....a little bit of nerves due to the surgery but also the fact that even though it's been 12 months since the mastectomy and the insertion of the tissue expander, it only feels like yesterday. I too lost my nipple and even though I can look at the 'foob' without regret, I still long for the original one that was 'me'. 

I was talking with my naturopath about this yesterday and he said it was me also fighting for control - feeling 'stuck', and a bit overwhelmed. Afterwards, he helped me to feel empowered again so I have a newly established calm that will hopefully take me through to the operating theatre in 6 days' time  :# .

And then I tell myself that sad thoughts like those - even though they are normal, and part of the process of healing and recovering physically, psychologically and emotionally - aren't really helping me...and I begin to get excited about what is coming - an actual boob that won't need a prosthesis on top of it to match my real one....that won't feel hot or like I'm wearing a teddy bear!

You have done so well over the past months! Like you, I've become fit (I even run on the treadmill, and in public - when I feel up to it) and have lost 12 kgs; 34cm of useless fat - gone. Yippee!

Now, onwards and up[wards.

Sending you a big 'know how you're feeling sister' virtual hug and looking forward to hearing how your surgery goes.

Take care

Nikki x

Hi Kath, sometimes that grief and longing for what once was can hit you suddenly and unexpectedly but I guess all we can do is feel it and acknowledge it. Although I am very pleased with the overall results of my reconstruction (single DIEP and nipple reconstruction) I still have moments where I wish I still had my old breast and all the sensation that comes with it. As you say though, there is no looking back, I know I had to lose that part of myself in order to still be here today but knowing that still doesn't make it easy. Jane xx