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thank you, had the lymph scan today to mark where the sentinel lode is and that was ok. I stressed about every step as its always the first that is hard.
im not looking forward to surgery, I know it has to be done but it doesn't make me stress any less.
thank you for the support

Hi @RenataW.  You are probably now over the first stage with the scan.  Well done.
You are right that the thoughts going around in your head are your worst enemy.  Try to stop those a bit by thinking over yourself - as soon as a thought appears wipe it away with a pleasant thought (this could be the same one each time) or simply telling yourself sternly "stop".  It does work.
Once you are in for the surgery tomorrow I reckon "the system takes over" and it is out of your hands so you can just relax and let the specialists do their job and take your worries away.
We are all thinking of you and wishing you well for your surgery tomorrow.  💖

Totally understandable @RenataW I recall feeling a bit scared ahead of my pre surgery lymphoscinctigram and a hookwire (just the name of the procedure could do with a ‘rebrand’ ☺️, it sounds much worse than it is). 

@RenataW today’s test is likely the dye to light up the first node the area drains to as iserbrown said the sentinel node for your surgeon.  You will get more pathology results post surgery and can be sure after that.  I had a positive sentinel node and opted for further surgery with an axillary clearance, they took another 19 nodes and all were clear.  Sending you best wishes for your surgery tomorrow and recovery.  Be kind to yourself, another step forward today. 

Taking the sentinel node and a couple of soldiers - that's how my Breast Surgeon described it.  A pathology report will determine if they are clear or otherwise!
Take care

Today I saw my specialist and I am in for a Lymph scan tomorrow and then surgery on Wednesday with a hookwire put in just before surgery.
I'm very scared and anxious about it all. 
I will be in overnight with a partial mastectomy. 
The specialist said that the lymph scan will determine which lymph nodes to remove for testing, even though originally, they thought it was not in the lymph nodes, not sure if that is changed or they are being super careful.
I spoke to the cancer care nurse that rang me and she was amazing, but I have not had any surgery before apart from a knee arthroscopy which was very quick.
I will know the week after what happens after surgery, depending on I guess what the test comes back as and whether it is in my lymph nodes. 
It's just so much to even get my head around but I have lots of support, most of the problems are in my own head and I make them worse by my thoughts.
thanks for listening

So true it messes with your mind, thank you for taking the time to reply. All the best with your phase as well. So ridiculous throughout my life I always was healthy and started to think I was invincible, never even had the flu. First morning after I got told the news it was like I was hearing it again and I thought it was a nightmare, soon realized, no this is my life now. So obviously still coming to terms with it. Hugs right back at you x

@RenataW you have already shown your courage and bravery for reaching out and being honest about where you are at.  There are some great tips shared in the posts by others, find out what works for you and really lean into that.  Each test and waiting for results, the drs appointments can create pressure points.  My journey is still young, I thought I was having a lumpectomy but had a mastectomy ( which was the right choice for my results and me) and have only recently moved onto the next phase of treatment.  There are options which your team will talk you through and may change as you get more results and or more informed. I have learnt this journey evolves and your path becomes clear through the help of your treating team.  It’s ok to not listen to podcasts or red info, I found it too overwhelming and needed to pick things up and put them down until I was in the right mind to absorb and consider.  One step at a time, you are still the person you were before your diagnosis.  The best piece of advice I got from a breast screen nurse - breast cancer is a mind game - I remind myself this when the world is spinning.  Much positive thoughts and virtual hugs being sent your way.    

Every time a get a message from someone on this forum I feel a little better and so grateful to have found you. I know we don't know each other but the support is felt, and I thank you all for this xxx

thank you such wise words