Letting go of being superwoman!

@Cath62 same! I quit a year before my diagnosis, but needed to find an excuse for myself as to why I quit, and still spent a whole year feeling guilty that i wasn’t working, even though I was working overtime for a few years prior with no proper holiday for a decade. Not even sick days. And I had burnt out massively to the point I couldn’t understand what I was reading in class, simple things that beforehand I could’ve taught in my sleep. And that year I was having panic attacks on top of everything. Very unhealthy, and I knew it, yet I couldn’t stop myself. I’d disappoint so many people if I did 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️. So much guilting and shaming, it really needs to stop. I also now have no intention to go back to work unless it’s under my conditions. I refuse to join that psychotic rat race again. 

@Cath62 so glad you also changed and are putting your health first.  I feel my cancer was also brought on by workplace stress.  

@iserbrown I meant to also say thank you for the reminder.  I went on one OTIS holiday, and I may look into going a second time if that is possible. xx

@iserbrown oh how I’d love another Otis holiday!! Very much in need of one! Someone mentioned before we could go a second time, but I’m not sure as I haven’t checked. 👏🏻👏🏻 for reminding ladies of that, especially those who haven’t been yet 👌🏻👌🏻 Xx

One thing I can guarantee is that on our death bed we won't be saying I wish I had worked my butt off more, and we won't be saying I wish I had seen my loved ones less.  

Totally agree @FLClover and @June1952.

Society has lost the plot. I came home to mum who was always there with afternoon tea after school. We had a great time and money didn't drive it. We had our home but not lots of ' stuff' . Mum worked when we were older, school hrs so was still around and not wearing herself out like I did.

I had to get my first husband to leave when my son was 8 months old (long story) and as a sole parent it was exhausting. My parents helped me but still having to provide and do it all took it's toll on me. Admittedly I was very driven to achieve and provide. I busted my gut, no financial support from the ex.

People thought I was amazing but no one helped me and I never asked. I didn't want to be a sole parent but I didn't choose a good first husband and paid a very big price. 

I also didn't handle all the stress of being a sole parent well. What's more no one ever said to me your very stressed or offered help. But I do really believe my stress impacted my help over the years and contributed to my cancer without a doubt. 

Not sure society would be prepared to go back to what it was like. I do see younger mums wanting more balance so you never know. But the greed of society keeps driving things in the wrong direction unfortunately. One thing that is positive is that children in schools are taught relaxation or yoga or other such techniques to help them manage stress.

I would recommend the Otis Foundation for anyone wanting a break. @iserbrown has the link above.

At 76, I still think that agitating for women’s right to choose (which automatically means the ability to take different paths, not just dream about them) was and is important. I see more couples now genuinely sharing all aspects of work, housework and parenting and it’s a good thing. I’m not sure life was simpler in the past, there were just fewer choices. Education, ambition (it can be a really good word) and self esteem are often linked. Every real choice made carries with it a sense of achievement, no matter what the outcome. 

I agree @June1952  We took it for granted our mums were there to lick our wounds, didn't we?  Let's hope that in a two parent family that one parent can look after one or two children which is the usual number these days.

I have retired now, but most working women I meet seem very exhausted, and have so much to do and co-ordinate, there must be a better alternative,  Being kind to ourselves doesn't mean scheduling in haircuts, manicures, pedicures, gym, yoga and date nights etc, into an already busy work/family life.  I wish I had the answer, but I agree @FLClover we are heading in the wrong direction.  

The more I live the more I feel that society has got it wrong !
As an 'oldie', all the women I knew as a kid stayed home and did the 'motherly' duties where the majority of men (not my dad !) went out to work and made the income to support the family.
Yes, life was far more simple but it was not governed by money.  We went without until there was sufficient cash to buy items.  I saw my first TV when I was in my late teens.
Even now, I just have the old TVs, none of the big flat screens, as I cannot afford them, but we live simply and still don't feel as if we are missing out.
No, the Govt does not contribute to the neighbour's child care, but the children have Mum at home if they are sick at school and she is there with a snack when they come home after their busy day of learning.
If only more families would look to the happiness of the past and learn to enjoy more of the simple things.
It is a world of 'equality' but is it really ?  Couples need to look at the dollar values compared to what is really missing.
I agree, @FLClover, society is heading in the wrong direction - let's get back to the basics where the women are not the ones responsible for all the 'home duties'. Share the professional world and share the household duties.

Perhaps a timely reminder that there's a wonderful charity offering a free holiday 

https://www.otisfoundation.org.au/directory