Letting go of being superwoman!
I have been hesitating writing this for a while, but here goes! When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, of course I was stunned by being delivered the news by the doctor at Breast Screen, ...
Forum Discussion
Hi @Keeping_positive1,
Yes many woman give all to everyone. Many push themselves to do it all, work, family, parents, home friends etc etc. Many women struggle to do it all until they burnout or get sick. That was me.
I was a sole parent for 20 yrs. I didn't want my son to miss out so I busted my gut to achieve a high position to provide financially for us. I helped my sisters and their families and I helped and I am still helping parents. I worked so hard to make everything right or as perfect as I could.
I look back and wonder if pushing myself was the right thing to do? I got my home, sent my son to private school and earnt a good income to be able to provide for us. Was there a cost? Yes. I have had a number of health issues in the last 20 yrs but especially the last 10 years. I am 59. All that pushing myself had taken its toll and BC stopped me in my tracks.
But hey I can learn and change it now. I really have reflected on my life all the ups and downs and what has brought me to this point. I have made significant changes and I needed to.
I am not as perfect anymore. What will be will be and I don't sweat the small stuff. I still help my aging parents and my son and new grandson but I put myself first. I do what I need for my own self care first and foremost. I make sure I fill.my bucket ad I can't give from an empty one.
I wonder if my younger self would have listened to others talk about balance. Hard to say, i was so head strong and determined and what was has gone. I think I would say to other younger women to not be hard on themselves and to get that balance right. The big house and all the things in are really meaningless without your health. Your greatest gift to others is yourself. Let's face it you can't take the stuff with you.
Brene Brown (researcher, social worker amongst other things) would say perfectionism is really about shame and guilt. She does a few podcasts and books and it is interesting her studies on this. She is also funny talking about it in her podcasts.
I don't work and have no intentionto in the future. I stopped work just before my diagnosis. I was burnt out completely and I think I had pushed myself to breaking point achieving career, family, home etc. I will not work again. I spend time doing what I want and some of that is with my family. But I make sure my needs are met first. I am a year post active treatment. I am still rebuilding but I am more relaxed and happy. It will be interesting to hear what others say.
Yes many woman give all to everyone. Many push themselves to do it all, work, family, parents, home friends etc etc. Many women struggle to do it all until they burnout or get sick. That was me.
I was a sole parent for 20 yrs. I didn't want my son to miss out so I busted my gut to achieve a high position to provide financially for us. I helped my sisters and their families and I helped and I am still helping parents. I worked so hard to make everything right or as perfect as I could.
I look back and wonder if pushing myself was the right thing to do? I got my home, sent my son to private school and earnt a good income to be able to provide for us. Was there a cost? Yes. I have had a number of health issues in the last 20 yrs but especially the last 10 years. I am 59. All that pushing myself had taken its toll and BC stopped me in my tracks.
But hey I can learn and change it now. I really have reflected on my life all the ups and downs and what has brought me to this point. I have made significant changes and I needed to.
I am not as perfect anymore. What will be will be and I don't sweat the small stuff. I still help my aging parents and my son and new grandson but I put myself first. I do what I need for my own self care first and foremost. I make sure I fill.my bucket ad I can't give from an empty one.
I wonder if my younger self would have listened to others talk about balance. Hard to say, i was so head strong and determined and what was has gone. I think I would say to other younger women to not be hard on themselves and to get that balance right. The big house and all the things in are really meaningless without your health. Your greatest gift to others is yourself. Let's face it you can't take the stuff with you.
Brene Brown (researcher, social worker amongst other things) would say perfectionism is really about shame and guilt. She does a few podcasts and books and it is interesting her studies on this. She is also funny talking about it in her podcasts.
I don't work and have no intentionto in the future. I stopped work just before my diagnosis. I was burnt out completely and I think I had pushed myself to breaking point achieving career, family, home etc. I will not work again. I spend time doing what I want and some of that is with my family. But I make sure my needs are met first. I am a year post active treatment. I am still rebuilding but I am more relaxed and happy. It will be interesting to hear what others say.