Just venting
I wasn’t sure where to post this. And there are a few things to say. Has anyone had the experience of people giving advice as to what to do with treatment etc? I’ve had people tell me to seek oth...
Forum Discussion
Dear Ann58
Vent away! It can relieve a lot of stress. Doesn't actually fix anything but the emotional release can be a tonic.
At a time when you are feeling low, uncertain and plain frightened, unqualified and I am afraid insensitive people telling you nonsense are people you need to avoid if at all possible. At least for a few months until you get a handle on this new phase of your life (and have a much stronger sense that there will be many more phases too!). It's highly unlikely they know anything about the subject. Their 'research' is probably on some uncredited and weird website. I'm of the opinion that a counsellor should be available for anyone with a cancer diagnosis. The emotional impact is often harder to gauge than the physical - and cancer specialists are mainly and rightly concerned with your body. Cancer can also dredge up or put a new focus on other issues. I saw a counsellor for a few months - not about coping with cancer, she agreed I was doing really well with that! No, I actually needed a disinterested but intelligent person to tell me that my 50 hour working week, inability to delegate very effectively, 'can do' response to everything was not necessarily something I should go back to as 'normal'! It worked too! Your GP may be able to assist - sleep is precious and a short time on sleeping pills may help and restore some balance and stillness.
Your medical team will advise about treatment. There will be decisions to be made, but I sometimes think that the scariest part of the whole process is just knowing you have cancer. Once you accept that, things actually get a bit easier. Surgery isn't a great thought, but getting rid of cancer is. Reactions to treatment vary wildly - so best to see how it affects you and assess the situation then. I had surgery (mastectomy), chemo, herceptin and hormonal treatment. No nausea, worked throughout chemo. Lucky, but many of us are. And no, surgery does not spread the cancer - although some cancer may evade a first surgical intervention. Surgeons are well versed on that possibility and what to do about it.
Just breathe, take one step at a time. Don't imagine things that may never happen. Trust your team. Stay close to that supportive husband. This too will pass. Best wishes.