I think most ladies on here can relate to your story! I am a neat -freak and found it very difficult, post double-mastectomies, to ignore mess left in the kitchen. For a couple of weeks I was in so much pain that I couldn't even think about anything else. Once I got the right balance of pain-management medication I made one trip downstairs every night to clean up any mess I couldn't bear to have lying around. That way I wasn't being a princess when I knew that my husband was doing his best, and I also felt a little bit more in control of things.
Take it one day at a time and don't be too hard on yourself. You are the one doing the hard yards...
Hugs,
Jeanine xxx