Hi Everyone

Hi Barb and Cher54

i am so glad i joined this network, i was feeling that i was the only one feeling like this about work and what was wrong with me, with all the treatment finished i should be fine. it is really nice to know that others feel this way too and that this is part of the breast cancer journey that we are on. im so glad that we can chat and share our feelings it really helps.

Thanks everyone

I too being of the older generation have limited opportunities available to me and I can see problems when I return to the workforce sometime next month.

I work  for a smallish community co-operative here where I live which is a short 5-10 minute drive each way & they are holding my job open for me to return at my own pace which is great and I am grateful for but......there is always a but!

My job entails being on my feet for long periods during the day & going up and down stairs. This wouldn't be so much of a problem except for the fact that I am suffering from tingling numb feet & toes which make wearing shoes, standing & walking for any length of time difficult, uncomfortable & at times painful. Add to this the tiredness and emotional factors (I am on anti-depressants) & I'm simply dreading it.

I'd love to be financially able to give away work & concentrate more on my family & own happiness but alas that won't be happening. I have used up all my annual leave, sickness & long service leaves & since mid December been existing on Centrelink since I became single again.

This disease has taken a lot from me & changed me in many ways, so the person who will be returning to work is NOT the person who took leave back in late August. My life values & priorities have changed. I feel like I will be a "fish out of water" as so many of my co-workers have moved on & there are many new people I don't know who also will not know my circumstances. The people still there that I know, know me as I was back then - not as who I am now.

I have 2 gorgeous grandchildren nearly 2 1/2yrs & 7mths I want to spend more time with while I can, maybe do some volunteer work here & there as I can & just start enjoying what life I have left.

Just how I'm feeling & as you can probably guess am not dealing with particularly well at present.

Cheryl

My return to work was with a new employer in a job I had never done before so it was a bit of a challenge for me. Fortunately my the company I was going to work for were very accommodating of my health circumstances post surgery and chemo. My work collegues were another matter. There seemed to be some resentment with some as I'm sure that they see that I am receiving "preferential treatment". As I work with predominently women this lack of empathy is disappointing. I never mention my breast cancer journey as no-one appears to be interested. So I just make the most of the situation. I enjoy my role as I have a lot of exposure to customer service. After the isolation of chemo this access to people is wonderful.

Hi TonyaM

Great to hear from you, glag that you can retire and go sightseeing - will have to work out my finances i think so that i can retire too, definitely sick of my job too and i can't see it getting any better, i just can't seem to turn off the care factor so i can cope with all the changes so its time to plan for leaving the place.

You will have to keep in touch and share your photos of all the places you will be visiting.

carol

Over the last 8years I have had so many set backs with my health.I've had to take sick leave and all my long service leave.Every time I just get back on my perch I get knocked off with another cancer or broken ankle surgeries.So I've been overlooked for any promotions or interesting opportunities. I've been at the same place for 15yrs but newer staff have climbed the ladder.I really feel that breast cancer or any ongoing health problem/disability puts you at a disadvantage in the workforce.I am really sick of my job now and plan to retire in a few months time(am 55).I am about to profit from some very smart realestate choices that I've made.Then hubby and I will pack up and travel.Like you two,I value family more than work and now want to have some fun.I'd like to volunteer now instead of work.Nice chatting with you both.

                                Tonya xx

Hi Leonie

I understand where you are coming from, after returning to work -its been 2 years now and i still feel i have no control over my position that i once had, being Practice Manager i thought i was doing a good job but now most of the days i am unhappy because of the control i lost, everyone just seems to think they can do what they like and there is no organisation and protocols seem to have gone out of the window, yeah change jobs people say but the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence and like you age (52) has its disadvantages. im trying to ignore all the negatives about work and just go in and do what i have to. Like you say work isn't everything but it is hard to let go of the negatives so you can be happy again. Im focusing on other things now like family, i have two beautiful grandchildren aged 5 and 2 so they are my life now.

Hi ladies,  Mine is a bit complicated and too long to explain but the result was horrific.  After my first diagnosis in 2006 I had 9 months off work and on my return had no "where to go".  I was a foreigner so to speak and accepted a position that was vacant.  It was horrendous (know why it was vacant).  I was lost and all I wanted to do was get back to the status I had prior to BC.  After many attempts and much frustration to regain my status I pretty well gave up.  My present job (I've been off for 6 months on new treatment) is working under people who I mentored prior to BC.  This has been so hard (people have big egos and don't know the real meaning of life)  Anyway being older now - nearly 55 - I couldn't care less about work.  Living is what I am interested in.  Work can be such a toxic environment.  I still have quite a long time off work before I have to consider the effects of returning but when I do I am going to be myself and not what people want to turn me into for their own gratification.  I don't think I "fit the mould" anymore because I see things very differently to others.  As I said above I now want to Live life to the fullest and work seems to "smother" me.   I can hear what you will all say - change jobs.  This could be an option!!!! but age is a barrier now.  Time will tell.  Good luck.  I know most people have to work and I am not financially secure but have insurances in place that allow me to have choices.   I hope this doesn't sound too negative but  a lot of people whom I work with think after bc that you lose more than breasts - I didn't have brain surgery - then again maybe I did because the brain sure thinks differently now. XLeonie

Hi ladies,  Mine is a bit complicated and too long to explain but the result was horrific.  After my first diagnosis in 2006 I had 9 months off work and on my return had no "where to go".  I was a foreigner so to speak and accepted a position that was vacant.  It was horrendous (know why it was vacant).  I was lost and all I wanted to do was get back to the status I had prior to BC.  After many attempts and much frustration to regain my status I pretty well gave up.  My present job (I've been off for 6 months on new treatment) is working under people who I mentored prior to BC.  This has been so hard (people have big egos and don't know the real meaning of life)  Anyway being older now - nearly 55 - I couldn't care less about work.  Living is what I am interested in.  Work can be such a toxic environment.  I still have quite a long time off work before I have to consider the effects of returning but when I do I am going to be myself and not what people want to turn me into for their own gratification.  I don't think I "fit the mould" anymore because I see things very differently to others.  As I said above I now want to Live life to the fullest and work seems to "smother" me.   I can hear what you will all say - change jobs.  This could be an option!!!! but age is a barrier now.  Time will tell.  Good luck.  I know most people have to work and I am not financially secure but have insurances in place that allow me to have choices.   I hope this doesn't sound too negative but  a lot of people whom I work with think after bc that you lose more than breasts - I didn't have brain surgery - then again maybe I did because the brain sure thinks differently now. XLeonie

Hi ladies,  Mine is a bit complicated and too long to explain but the result was horrific.  After my first diagnosis in 2006 I had 9 months off work and on my return had no "where to go".  I was a foreigner so to speak and accepted a position that was vacant.  It was horrendous (know why it was vacant).  I was lost and all I wanted to do was get back to the status I had prior to BC.  After many attempts and much frustration to regain my status I pretty well gave up.  My present job (I've been off for 6 months on new treatment) is working under people who I mentored prior to BC.  This has been so hard (people have big egos and don't know the real meaning of life)  Anyway being older now - nearly 55 - I couldn't care less about work.  Living is what I am interested in.  Work can be such a toxic environment.  I still have quite a long time off work before I have to consider the effects of returning but when I do I am going to be myself and not what people want to turn me into for their own gratification.  I don't think I "fit the mould" anymore because I see things very differently to others.  As I said above I now want to Live life to the fullest and work seems to "smother" me.   I can hear what you will all say - change jobs.  This could be an option!!!! but age is a barrier now.  Time will tell.  Good luck.  I know most people have to work and I am not financially secure but have insurances in place that allow me to have choices.   I hope this doesn't sound too negative but  a lot of people whom I work with think after bc that you lose more than breasts - I didn't have brain surgery - then again maybe I did because the brain sure thinks differently now. XLeonie

glad your back at work - good idea to go back 2 half days a week - i went back to my normal shifts of 8 to 2 five days a week which may have been too much, or maybe i should have gone back less hours sooner to work up to the normal shifts, chemo brain does play a part in returning to work as i found that by 12 i was tired and somedays my brain was just a fog and couldn't think properly or concentrate, on some of these days i finished at 1 - my hours were flexible so that was good. I found that with having so much time off that some of the newer clients thought i was a new employee. When i first when back to work all the staff knew why i had been off as it is only a small veterinary clinic  so it wasn't really a problem but i soon learnt that with the regular clients i didn't mind telling them why i had been off work and they were really understanding and wished me well, now when i see them they always ask me how i am - which is nice. don't try to do too much and work up to the norm gradually - maybe that is the key.