Hi Everyone

Hi ladies,  Mine is a bit complicated and too long to explain but the result was horrific.  After my first diagnosis in 2006 I had 9 months off work and on my return had no "where to go".  I was a foreigner so to speak and accepted a position that was vacant.  It was horrendous (know why it was vacant).  I was lost and all I wanted to do was get back to the status I had prior to BC.  After many attempts and much frustration to regain my status I pretty well gave up.  My present job (I've been off for 6 months on new treatment) is working under people who I mentored prior to BC.  This has been so hard (people have big egos and don't know the real meaning of life)  Anyway being older now - nearly 55 - I couldn't care less about work.  Living is what I am interested in.  Work can be such a toxic environment.  I still have quite a long time off work before I have to consider the effects of returning but when I do I am going to be myself and not what people want to turn me into for their own gratification.  I don't think I "fit the mould" anymore because I see things very differently to others.  As I said above I now want to Live life to the fullest and work seems to "smother" me.   I can hear what you will all say - change jobs.  This could be an option!!!! but age is a barrier now.  Time will tell.  Good luck.  I know most people have to work and I am not financially secure but have insurances in place that allow me to have choices.   I hope this doesn't sound too negative but  a lot of people whom I work with think after bc that you lose more than breasts - I didn't have brain surgery - then again maybe I did because the brain sure thinks differently now. XLeonie