I had only one node malignant but a quite developed tumour, so a mastectomy, chemo and herceptin but no radiation. A mastectomy is quite straightforward and in most cases not painful. Removing underarm nodes can upset nerves and can take more time to settle down. I opted for no reconstruction but there is a special group on this site who will be able to give you lots of advice. Like @Glemmis I found chemo tolerable and worked through it. It helps to take things in small steps, one thing at a time, otherwise it's easy to be overwhelmed. Trust your team, get as much support as you can, don't Google (almost never helps) and best wishes.