hi all,im new to this forum and about half way through my AC/taxol chemo ‘journey’. I’m a stage 3 triple positive, on the menu is chemo, mastectomy, radiation, hercepton and likely neratinib (when I get sick of constipation and want to change it up a little). I have an oncologist and whilst she is nice, I just don’t feel like I click with her. I feel like I’m being provided a service and I seldom leave her appointments uplifted. She’s pretty black and white and straight down the line. Trying to make her laugh with my satirical humour is almost impossible. I’ve been trying to crack her now for a good 12 weeks. No joy. However my surgeon and my new radio oncologist when I meet them, I feel happy afterward.A friend says I’m mad to stick with her and should find a new oncologist. So I’m just wondering has anyone had any experience with finding a new oncologist and the reasons that they did so? And also, how they did it?i feel like if I leave I should be kind and find a way to explain ‘it’s not you it me, we just don’t click’. Because she’s not crap, she’s just maybe not someone I’d have a wine with.Thanks!

Please don't think this is a flippant comment because it's not intended that way. But @kmakm post reminds me of something Prof Noel Fitzpatrick the Supervet says. "The patients need to know how much you care before they care about how much you know." I didn't like the oncologist assigned to me through the public system. I requested a new one through the breast care nurse but didn't like the 2nd one either. I found my own through private. @Saram don't feel bad if want to change. It's absolutely your right.

@Blondy I was talking about my experience with the public system and seeing many different oncologists, but so pleased that is not everyones experience. :) Day oncology and the nurses are wonderful, but it leaves me a bit dissatisfied with having to just see whichever oncologist for the day. So lucky you had a different experience, as we don't usually get to chose in the public system, nor do we get to chose the surgeon, but thankfully my surgeon was wonderful, I couldn't have picked a better surgeon if I had been paying privately. Some have been disappointed with their private hospital experience, so I guess it works both ways.

Hi @Keeping_positive1 I'm in the public system and chose my surgeon (who also has private patients) and I have had the same oncologist the whole time. My surgery was two days later than it could have been if I was private. I feel well cared for and happy that I'm not paying extra for the same excellent treatment. I'm sorry to hear you have had a different experience and different doctors but great you got a wonderful surgeon!

Hi @Saram Oncologists are just like any other service provider. They don't see themselves as being in the same league as the butcher, baker and candlestick maker, but the reality is the only reason you would stay with one you don't like is lack of other options. If you want to see someone else, see someone else and don't feel you need to apologize.I've sacked three over the years and have finally found my happy place (if there is such a thing when someone wants to take you to the point of death) with an onc who genuinely seems to regard me as a complex human rather than a reluctant contributor to their next holiday or Chanel suit. And he laughs at my black humour. It's a long term relationship, we hope, so it's worth getting it right. Mxx

Thanks ladies, all very good food for thought. I’m based in South sydney.

Breaking up with your oncologist | BCNA Online Network

24 Replies

arpie
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7 years ago
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That is wonderful, @MeganM - just get out there & do whatever you enjoy doing!! Just DO IT!! xxx
iserbrown
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7 years ago
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@MeganM
Great to read about your latest results. Woo hoo!
Best wishes for your ongoing treatment
Hugs
MeganM
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7 years ago
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Finally feeling more like myself and my Oncologist has said after my first scans since Stage IV diagnosis that I am “stable.” Oncologist team don’t know why I had such low blood pressure possibly a virus. Heart Dr has cleared me too
kmakm
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7 years ago
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@MeganM Boo! I was bedevilled with low bp problems throughout chemo and my BMX & recon. Gosh they make you feel awful, you have my sympathy. Keep yourself well distracted over the next week. Big hug, K xox
MeganM
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7 years ago
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Spoke or posted too soon. This week has not been great...low blood pressure is causing problems even with drinking extra water.
My oncologist has given me another week off Kisqali and sent me for more blood tests.
Just got a message to say my Oncologist wants to meet again next week to discuss scans..not sure if they want to bring those forward but trying not to worry.
kmakm
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7 years ago
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@MeganM Hooray!!
MeganM
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7 years ago
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Just thought I’d let you know that I am feeling much better since increasing my fluids to around 3 L a day if I’ve been to the gym or 2 L otherwise. Basically every time I feel tired I drink 500ml. Sounds a lot and it is but it’s working Yahoo!
MeganM
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7 years ago
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Looks like the exhaustion is linked to low blood pressure. CancerFit gym take my blood pressure before I do my exercises and it was again 80/58 but better after fluids. So I know I have to massively increase my fluids which is helping with the tiredness
MeganM
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7 years ago
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@brightspace thanks you are right I am struggling with accepting the new normal..grr that said yesterday was much better today so so but definitely not as bad as when I wrote my post. Hoping it was just the heat...but will discuss the issue including the heat with my medical team
brightspace
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7 years ago
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Hi @MeganM

..letrozole alone can be fatique Inducing especially after exercise and joint pain can result and i have noticed that humid warm weather also has this affecteven post meno .perhaps with work learn to pace yourself avoid excessive before starting a lot of uswith mets mbc have to learn the ..be gentle mantra
Yoga,swimming and walking are our friends
All the best
Bright in hope