Forum Discussion
Are you a breast cancer survivor who happens to be childless?
I have been a member of this online network since 2014, just after my diagnosis. At a recent breast cancer seminar at a city near where I live, something hit me like it hasn't in all this time, the subject of survivors who happen to be childless. I thought to myself, "Noone talks about this. Why?"
This has led me to do my research, as you do, I found this demographic of women are at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. It is explained this way, you are at a lower risk of diagnosis if you have children.
Interesting I thought, Nuns are at a higher risk of breast cancer and ovarian, not that I am a Nun but an interesting statistic that gets me thinking. Which brings me to why I am posting.
I am putting it out there in a courageous way to see if there is another like me. Courageous because for 30 years after my extensive efforts to go forth and multiply I walked away childless. The one thing I learned was to keep it to yourself as I found there were lots of people willing to give you their advice, just like they do with breast cancer 'cures', an emotive issue is best kept to yourself for your own emotional survival.
I am running a personal survey just to see if there are other women within this network who are in the same boat as me. Does anyone else feel a little left out when sitting in a seminar and not to be included in the discussions? I tell ya, there is a real sense of alienation, but culturally we are told to, 'just get over it', which is fine and life for me has been fulfilling in spite of it all.
My GP doesn't know of another single patient like me which isn't very encouraging in finding my tribe, my mother always said I am different when all you want to do is be like everyone else. So please step forward if you are like me or if you know someone who has a similar story.
I feel it is a subject that needs discussion and inclusion because in society we, the childless women are 1 in 5, by choice or by circumstance.
Cheers Janet
This has led me to do my research, as you do, I found this demographic of women are at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. It is explained this way, you are at a lower risk of diagnosis if you have children.
Interesting I thought, Nuns are at a higher risk of breast cancer and ovarian, not that I am a Nun but an interesting statistic that gets me thinking. Which brings me to why I am posting.
I am putting it out there in a courageous way to see if there is another like me. Courageous because for 30 years after my extensive efforts to go forth and multiply I walked away childless. The one thing I learned was to keep it to yourself as I found there were lots of people willing to give you their advice, just like they do with breast cancer 'cures', an emotive issue is best kept to yourself for your own emotional survival.
I am running a personal survey just to see if there are other women within this network who are in the same boat as me. Does anyone else feel a little left out when sitting in a seminar and not to be included in the discussions? I tell ya, there is a real sense of alienation, but culturally we are told to, 'just get over it', which is fine and life for me has been fulfilling in spite of it all.
My GP doesn't know of another single patient like me which isn't very encouraging in finding my tribe, my mother always said I am different when all you want to do is be like everyone else. So please step forward if you are like me or if you know someone who has a similar story.
I feel it is a subject that needs discussion and inclusion because in society we, the childless women are 1 in 5, by choice or by circumstance.
Cheers Janet
141 Replies
- Good advice on this....note to self: don't set up a username and password when living the chemo fog. In saying that, I lived through the gritty part of childlessness when social media wasn't thought of when we were seen but not heard and to be honest I'm a little tired of that. Now that I am grandma age and listening to my friends get excited about impending grandchildren, thinking do I have to do this all over again?!
I'm all for cultural change and I am beginning to see this here and recently on Facebook with Mothers Day so now I don't mind using my name if I can assist others in navigating the minefield of the perils of childlessness in our society.
- BCNA does advise not to use your own name or anything identifying on the public forum. If you're not logged in, you can look but not comment on the posts in the public area. This means that anyone can see it but it also means that those who are newly diagnosed (for example) can lurk in the shadows to get information. I sometimes go on the UK and US forums doing this - I don't want to join but occasionally there may be more information. If you want to be private, pm or choose the closed groups.
- This site doesn't do like many and demand access to your Google or Facebook accounts. As far as I can determine it will allow posts to be discovered by most search engines. I don't see much cookie activity which, I assume, means BCNA isn't mining data other than what it explains in its privacy statement.
It is a really bad idea to use your own name on a public forum. It is also a bad idea to use the same user name on multiple forums unless you are willing to have different activities linked to the same person; you. - I would never have been here if it wasn't for Google. I did searches and this BCNA website kept coming up in the results. I lurked until I could resist joining no longer. Thank goodness I did. It's been a life saver for me.
- To be honest I was a little shocked to see it goes to a site that requires a username and password to enter the online network. I have studied internet studies, worked with a software developer who was hot on security. The security on this site seems inadequate unless it's deliberate or perhaps they haven't realised this. Facebook and Google are linked, that's obvious by the way sites show up on your newsfeed just after you google something. Really, if you want something private don't go on the internet.
If anyone has a public blog you run the risk of spam so running private seems more sense. - Sorry, @"Janet A" .... I should have said "My user name & "Breast Cancer" into google - tho just now - it came up with an answer from @Giovanna_BCNA that was linked to THIS PAGE! LOL
oooops .... just googled 'arpie cancer' 2 topics popped up this time - plus one on my husband's cancer from 2010!! Originally it was only my 'home post'!!
I've given up on the algorithms that dictate what comes up in a 'search' on Google or Facebook ...... maths was never my forte at school! LOL - I was going to say private group, anyway....
- Ah, I see, just added the @ came up first on the rank.....
- I typed into google, Janet A 'cancer' but this site didn't appear?
How did you do it @arpie - @arpie - that’s scary!!!
