Forum Discussion
Are you a breast cancer survivor who happens to be childless?
I have been a member of this online network since 2014, just after my diagnosis. At a recent breast cancer seminar at a city near where I live, something hit me like it hasn't in all this time, the subject of survivors who happen to be childless. I thought to myself, "Noone talks about this. Why?"
This has led me to do my research, as you do, I found this demographic of women are at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. It is explained this way, you are at a lower risk of diagnosis if you have children.
Interesting I thought, Nuns are at a higher risk of breast cancer and ovarian, not that I am a Nun but an interesting statistic that gets me thinking. Which brings me to why I am posting.
I am putting it out there in a courageous way to see if there is another like me. Courageous because for 30 years after my extensive efforts to go forth and multiply I walked away childless. The one thing I learned was to keep it to yourself as I found there were lots of people willing to give you their advice, just like they do with breast cancer 'cures', an emotive issue is best kept to yourself for your own emotional survival.
I am running a personal survey just to see if there are other women within this network who are in the same boat as me. Does anyone else feel a little left out when sitting in a seminar and not to be included in the discussions? I tell ya, there is a real sense of alienation, but culturally we are told to, 'just get over it', which is fine and life for me has been fulfilling in spite of it all.
My GP doesn't know of another single patient like me which isn't very encouraging in finding my tribe, my mother always said I am different when all you want to do is be like everyone else. So please step forward if you are like me or if you know someone who has a similar story.
I feel it is a subject that needs discussion and inclusion because in society we, the childless women are 1 in 5, by choice or by circumstance.
Cheers Janet
This has led me to do my research, as you do, I found this demographic of women are at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. It is explained this way, you are at a lower risk of diagnosis if you have children.
Interesting I thought, Nuns are at a higher risk of breast cancer and ovarian, not that I am a Nun but an interesting statistic that gets me thinking. Which brings me to why I am posting.
I am putting it out there in a courageous way to see if there is another like me. Courageous because for 30 years after my extensive efforts to go forth and multiply I walked away childless. The one thing I learned was to keep it to yourself as I found there were lots of people willing to give you their advice, just like they do with breast cancer 'cures', an emotive issue is best kept to yourself for your own emotional survival.
I am running a personal survey just to see if there are other women within this network who are in the same boat as me. Does anyone else feel a little left out when sitting in a seminar and not to be included in the discussions? I tell ya, there is a real sense of alienation, but culturally we are told to, 'just get over it', which is fine and life for me has been fulfilling in spite of it all.
My GP doesn't know of another single patient like me which isn't very encouraging in finding my tribe, my mother always said I am different when all you want to do is be like everyone else. So please step forward if you are like me or if you know someone who has a similar story.
I feel it is a subject that needs discussion and inclusion because in society we, the childless women are 1 in 5, by choice or by circumstance.
Cheers Janet
141 Replies
- I too had one round of IVF, thats all I was allowed to have before surgery for early ovarian cancer, then after treatment the one and only egg that was retrieved fragmented, so then I had one round with a donor egg, went 19 days before I lost it, have been on one form or another of hrt for 25 years I was only 29 when all of this started, you have to wonder dont you, when I think of what my poor body has endured over the last 30 odd years it makes me think that maybe there was something to it in terms of my breast cancer diagnosis, however I too would not have had it any other way, I do have one son I had him when I was very young - its interesting when all these questions are being asked,to think none of this would have even been talked about many years ago, it was all hush hush and "womens problems" we have come so far and still have a way to go!!!
wendy55 - Wish you well with your study. But for me personally the answer is No
- Thanks arpie!
- I have read somewhere that enough time hasn't lapsed to notice or collect enough data but I would like to know if any is being collected?
- Thanks kmakm xx
- That's my kind of holiday @"Janet A", heaven. I'm glad you did it and happy it went well. Fulfilling a dream, wow. K xox
- @"Janet A" Your holiday seems like a dream - how fantastic.
While not childless, I also sometimes ponder on whether IVF may have played a part. Not that I would have done it any other way but I would like to know for the sake of my daughters. - WOW! I am SO glad you've enjoyed your trip to Italy & that it has helped you back to normal! That is awesome. WELL DONE on doing all the steps!
I grew up from age 7-11 in a boarding school run by Nuns. I'd always heard that Breast Cancer was also called 'The Nun's Disease' - but don't actually recall any 'disappearing' at any given time ..... mind you, given that they all wore the same long black outfits with heads fully covered - when I was younger, they all looked the same to me! Even the Priests wore long outfits - just not the veil - so as a youngster, couldn't always tell them apart! LOL
I wonder if any medical studies HAVE been done on any society of nuns? THAT would be really interesting, as everything we're aware of - has just been 'hearsay' really.
I am keen to join a 'childless group with BC' if it comes into being. - Hello everyone, funny that I am replying on Mothers Day.....lol. I have had a month away, it was my reward for coming through treatment, a dream I have had to travel to Italy, live in a little house in a little village by the ocean which I did. Before I left I wondered if I would have the energy for overseas travel again as I do make trips away often or when I can, I am happy to say all went well and in a strange way I feel I will now live on as a normal person would! If that makes sense!
So many stairs in Italy and I am happy to say I walked just about every single one of them!
I do want to thank everyone for their honesty and taking the time to reply to my question. I plan to continue my 'study' into the mysteries of why childless women are met with a certain hesitation when the question of are chlldless women at a higher risk to breast cancer and the statistics surrounded with that.
A discussion I have had with Marianne, she has suggested that if there is enough interest that bcna will set up a group dedicated to women in our situation. I am asking if this would be something that would interest you? I am part of another group in the UK who support childless women, I would like to take it further and include breast cancer diagnosis perhaps with the support of bcna to assist us in our situation with useful links and advice? Maybe by setting something up resources will be made available for us to read. Marianne kindly sent me a couple of links to read for those that have completed IVF rounds and are concerned about possible links? I myself did 13 rounds and sometimes I wonder as you do. So many unanswered questions can plague your mind and really during treatment one really doesn't need more to think about!
Let me know what you all think and thank you for supporting my post, so happy to find others in my situation. It's been a bit of a lonely road. xx - I was diagnosed last year when I was 30. I’m childless and single. However I do want children. I just got my periods back last week after chemo. It took about 7 months for them to return and although I was told they may not return, I was hopeful. Now I’m hopeful that one day I will meet someone to have kids with
