Forum Discussion
Are you a breast cancer survivor who happens to be childless?
I have been a member of this online network since 2014, just after my diagnosis. At a recent breast cancer seminar at a city near where I live, something hit me like it hasn't in all this time, the subject of survivors who happen to be childless. I thought to myself, "Noone talks about this. Why?"
This has led me to do my research, as you do, I found this demographic of women are at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. It is explained this way, you are at a lower risk of diagnosis if you have children.
Interesting I thought, Nuns are at a higher risk of breast cancer and ovarian, not that I am a Nun but an interesting statistic that gets me thinking. Which brings me to why I am posting.
I am putting it out there in a courageous way to see if there is another like me. Courageous because for 30 years after my extensive efforts to go forth and multiply I walked away childless. The one thing I learned was to keep it to yourself as I found there were lots of people willing to give you their advice, just like they do with breast cancer 'cures', an emotive issue is best kept to yourself for your own emotional survival.
I am running a personal survey just to see if there are other women within this network who are in the same boat as me. Does anyone else feel a little left out when sitting in a seminar and not to be included in the discussions? I tell ya, there is a real sense of alienation, but culturally we are told to, 'just get over it', which is fine and life for me has been fulfilling in spite of it all.
My GP doesn't know of another single patient like me which isn't very encouraging in finding my tribe, my mother always said I am different when all you want to do is be like everyone else. So please step forward if you are like me or if you know someone who has a similar story.
I feel it is a subject that needs discussion and inclusion because in society we, the childless women are 1 in 5, by choice or by circumstance.
Cheers Janet
This has led me to do my research, as you do, I found this demographic of women are at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. It is explained this way, you are at a lower risk of diagnosis if you have children.
Interesting I thought, Nuns are at a higher risk of breast cancer and ovarian, not that I am a Nun but an interesting statistic that gets me thinking. Which brings me to why I am posting.
I am putting it out there in a courageous way to see if there is another like me. Courageous because for 30 years after my extensive efforts to go forth and multiply I walked away childless. The one thing I learned was to keep it to yourself as I found there were lots of people willing to give you their advice, just like they do with breast cancer 'cures', an emotive issue is best kept to yourself for your own emotional survival.
I am running a personal survey just to see if there are other women within this network who are in the same boat as me. Does anyone else feel a little left out when sitting in a seminar and not to be included in the discussions? I tell ya, there is a real sense of alienation, but culturally we are told to, 'just get over it', which is fine and life for me has been fulfilling in spite of it all.
My GP doesn't know of another single patient like me which isn't very encouraging in finding my tribe, my mother always said I am different when all you want to do is be like everyone else. So please step forward if you are like me or if you know someone who has a similar story.
I feel it is a subject that needs discussion and inclusion because in society we, the childless women are 1 in 5, by choice or by circumstance.
Cheers Janet
141 Replies
- @"Janet A" I am 52 y.o. & was diagnosed Dec. last year with invasive stage 1 DCIS, no node involvement. Lumpectomy followed with clear margins so 16 doses of rad only with no chemo or HT. I have no children by choice & have reached menopause having gone off the pill a couple of years ago. I have been gene tested as my mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 39 y.o. & she passed away at 46 y.o. when i was only 4 y.o. The test came back negative but following advice from my medical team, I had my ovaries & tubes removed 2 weeks ago as a precaution & as my gyny onc said, "it was a no-brainer" with my family history & as I don't need those parts anymore!! I had been told that childless women have a higher risk of developing ovarian cancer but didn't know any link with breast cancer. I find it hard to believe your surgeon said he didn't know anyone like you as going by the amount of women on this post, they are many of us! Good luck with your study xx
- I have read these posts with great interest. I do have three children but didn’t breast feed at all and I have read somewhere that there may be a correlation between non breast feeding and breast cancer.
it was certainly a question that was asked of me during my first appointment with me breast surgeon. My reason for not breastfeeding were that I have very fair skin and I have inverted nipples. Also there wasn’t the great emphasis 41 years ago on breastfeeding and I tried but it was all too hard, so I opted for the easier option for me. I then went on to bottle feed the next two babies. - Hi @"Janet A" .... after marrying at 35, I was on the pill for quite a few years, then when I went off it, I just never got pregnant (probably because I was heading towards early menopause at 45?)
To be honest,I wasn't too upset about it, as I'd never really expected to have children anyway (and was a bit set in my ways) and hubby was older than me by 15 years. He already had 2 adult step-children & wasn't too keen to have babies at 50.
I always reckoned that my brothers & sister had already 'made up' for me - as two of them had 4 x children each & the other had just the one child.
A girlfriend, when quizzed as to why she didn't have children always said that she had 'bunchytop'! When asked what that was - she replied - "You Know - it is when Bananas can't have Little Bananas!!" That usually floored them & shut them up! LOL She went on to have 2 daughters.
I can only imagine what women who really wanted children (but couldn't) have had to go thru tho. My brother & his wife with the one child went thru numerous miscarriages prior to their one & only successful birth - after announcing the first one & losing it - they stopped telling people every other time they got pregnant, as they were never sure if it would be a viable pregnancy. :( - Hi @"Janet A", maybe it depends on why the person doesn't have children. Personally I don't have an issue with being or telling people I never had children as it was my choice not to. Maybe I would feel different if I had the option taken away from me.
- Hi @"Janet A". I would have to say that yes, it does take courage to say almost anything about being childless, in almost any situation.
I know over the years I've come up with a couple of different throw away lines in response to the question "do you have children?", aimed at getting a laugh. But bringing it up myself, whether with people I know or not... rarely - I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer last June fortunately stage 1small operation plus radiation treatment for 16 visits plus taking Tamoxifen for the next 4 years In June I will be having my yearly mammogram and ultrasound I also have no children having children or not having children has no bearing if a woman is diagnosed with Breast Cancer it is bad Karma/Luck, best wishes to all the women with BC I find the forum supportive and helpful
- Hello everyone,
So there are a few of us on this forum who are childless. Do you think it takes some courage to come forward to say something? I am wondering about other women's thoughts on this?
Cheers Janet - Yes I read that too......about cervical cancer.
To answer a query concerning bcna. This came about because I was sitting in a seminar another organisation put on, as I have for many but this time I noticed there was no mention of childless women and survivorship nor if you live in a remote location as I do, so I got thinking, messaged bcna and spoke to a couple of lovely breast care nurses who listened to my story. They suggested I post something to gauge a reaction to see if there were others like me, so happy there is!
We need a voice as well, we need advice on coping with breast cancer and no immediate family, there are differences. I recognize that our time is 'free' but I would have loved a family member to have for comfort or even help with those bad chemo days but I coped alone as my siblings live on the other side of the country. Coping mechanisms, we need advice too on places to call, possible support organizations who may have ideas. Some days I couldn't get out of bed, twice neutropenia and being home alone was scary, my partner works away and I didn't know anyone to call, he would stay with me the first three days but then had to go back to work. Again I am not looking for sympathy but help for others so they don't have to go through what I did.
Another observation is Raelene Boyle is an ambassador for bcna, she is childless. I have never seen images of childless women on this site to recognize all women going through bc. - Great find, @iserbrown
Also VERY interesting about the low incidence of cervical cancer in Nuns being noticed back then, to as it was never related to a virus back in those days! - Thank you interesting article!
