Forum Discussion
Are you a breast cancer survivor who happens to be childless?
I have been a member of this online network since 2014, just after my diagnosis. At a recent breast cancer seminar at a city near where I live, something hit me like it hasn't in all this time, the subject of survivors who happen to be childless. I thought to myself, "Noone talks about this. Why?"
This has led me to do my research, as you do, I found this demographic of women are at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. It is explained this way, you are at a lower risk of diagnosis if you have children.
Interesting I thought, Nuns are at a higher risk of breast cancer and ovarian, not that I am a Nun but an interesting statistic that gets me thinking. Which brings me to why I am posting.
I am putting it out there in a courageous way to see if there is another like me. Courageous because for 30 years after my extensive efforts to go forth and multiply I walked away childless. The one thing I learned was to keep it to yourself as I found there were lots of people willing to give you their advice, just like they do with breast cancer 'cures', an emotive issue is best kept to yourself for your own emotional survival.
I am running a personal survey just to see if there are other women within this network who are in the same boat as me. Does anyone else feel a little left out when sitting in a seminar and not to be included in the discussions? I tell ya, there is a real sense of alienation, but culturally we are told to, 'just get over it', which is fine and life for me has been fulfilling in spite of it all.
My GP doesn't know of another single patient like me which isn't very encouraging in finding my tribe, my mother always said I am different when all you want to do is be like everyone else. So please step forward if you are like me or if you know someone who has a similar story.
I feel it is a subject that needs discussion and inclusion because in society we, the childless women are 1 in 5, by choice or by circumstance.
Cheers Janet
This has led me to do my research, as you do, I found this demographic of women are at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. It is explained this way, you are at a lower risk of diagnosis if you have children.
Interesting I thought, Nuns are at a higher risk of breast cancer and ovarian, not that I am a Nun but an interesting statistic that gets me thinking. Which brings me to why I am posting.
I am putting it out there in a courageous way to see if there is another like me. Courageous because for 30 years after my extensive efforts to go forth and multiply I walked away childless. The one thing I learned was to keep it to yourself as I found there were lots of people willing to give you their advice, just like they do with breast cancer 'cures', an emotive issue is best kept to yourself for your own emotional survival.
I am running a personal survey just to see if there are other women within this network who are in the same boat as me. Does anyone else feel a little left out when sitting in a seminar and not to be included in the discussions? I tell ya, there is a real sense of alienation, but culturally we are told to, 'just get over it', which is fine and life for me has been fulfilling in spite of it all.
My GP doesn't know of another single patient like me which isn't very encouraging in finding my tribe, my mother always said I am different when all you want to do is be like everyone else. So please step forward if you are like me or if you know someone who has a similar story.
I feel it is a subject that needs discussion and inclusion because in society we, the childless women are 1 in 5, by choice or by circumstance.
Cheers Janet
141 Replies
- I hadn't heard of the saying Nun's disease. I just googled and found this link
https://parade.com/37175/parade/why-do-nuns-have-a-high-rate-of-breast-cancer/ - Thank you for your comments, yes it does stir up memories but that highlights what a roller coaster it is without bc. I have kept quiet for so many years I don't even think why I do, maybe I am sick of the comments? For me now it's about awareness of what we live with, how hurtful it can be. Perhaps I am used to the way things are after all.
Thanks for the links as well Zoffiel! I will check it out. Love your first comment.
I hope to post these comments doesn't come across as a negative thing, I think we all are brave survivors in more ways than one, it's been a lovely experience chatting with you all.
Thanks arpie! Interesting how you say Nun's disease, I too have been laughed at or with over suggesting such a thing.....and thank you for your encouragement as well. - @"Janet A"
a good conversation to have, I reckon,
I am 65 this year and never been pregnant or had a child. There is no cancer history at all (that I am aware of) in either side of My family. I am the first.
I actually went to a Nun’s school during my primary school years .... and had forever heard that breast cancer was often called ‘The Nun’s Disease’ ..... but when I mentioned this to my surgeon, that being childless may have contributed to me ‘getting it’ .... he laughed.
However, so many of these sayings may be attributed to some sort of historical observation! Who knows!
Good luck with your research! - @brightspace Thanks for the like above! It really is a sensitive topic being childless and I have found that this post has stirred memories. As I said it is not for sharing with the world as it is in our past and although there is tinges of sadness at times we are overall a happy married couple coming up to 40 years and looking forward to this bump in the road called BC being a distant memory and ready for the next phase of life. Just these damned side effects that are showing their ugly side at present but that is all part of the roller coaster!
Take care and thanks again - @"Janet A"
Perhaps you could research the BCNA website and or ask BCNA direct for any clues to find some of the information you are asking for.
For me personally my Breast Cancer was attributed to both being childless, which is something I am not willing to share with the world and I am sure some others may feel a little the same and my age group. I think my age group attribute would be the deciding factor if I pushed the professionals for a reason why.
The reason why was not relevant when I was diagnosed, it was about how do we get to a No Evidence of Disease and a happy ever after solution!
Take care and good luck with your researching A nurse googles and finds nothing. Ergo, there is nothing to find. Sigh.
I've been puddling around in Cochrane, there are studies relating to this.
The term to use is Nullipara or Nulliparous
Also:
There is more in Pub Med --sometimes you can only get at the abstracts if you don't have a log on.
also
https://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1945957-overview Medscape will give you access to limited articles as a guest
This stuff may not be helpful, but some of the references are very good and may give you some language tools if you feel like you are being fobbed off when you want to ask more specific questions.
Marg
- Thanks Viking 1 and Mrs H!
The reason for this post in the first place was to see how many others are on this forum who are childless and if anyone knew any statistics you mention. It's more out of curiosity to know the risks for our demographic. Studies are conducted for just about everything else.
I live in a rural community focused on families, our two support groups in Mackay are catering for older women and young mothers so I haven't gone along, one because it was a bit of a drive and we drove to Mackay so many times for appointments and treatment and two, I wouldn't have much in common with the two groups. I was originally looking for a group I could relate to but didn't find one not even online. This kind of forces us into self-reliance, there is a frustration of not finding a group and not being able to help others in the same position.
In answer to Viking 1, why do we live in a society that doesn't consider childlessness in an empathic way? I hope your onc is a good one in spite of her bedside manner! I'd love to tackle the perception of childlessness.
We have excellent breast care nurses in Mackay, whenever we need advise they are there for all of us. I am disappointed to say on a phone call to one, I asked the question of how many women they know who are childless and was she aware of the higher risk factor in childless women and bc. She got quite alienated by the questions, she said she googled and found no evidence and couldn't wait to get off the phone. I felt bad because I asked the question because she's such a lovely person and so helpful. I felt bad for asking. - Another member here. No kids and diagnosed at 29. I don’t really like kids and didn’t really want my own. Thankfully my hubby thinks the same way. I’ve found a lot of the young people with breast cancer groups mostly cater for women with babies/kids. Not a criticism just an observation. I’ve been thankful not to have kids going through this, I get to be selfish about my needs and time which is not something most mums going through this get, even with all the help in the world. Mothers guilt eh (so my mother keeps telling me :D). Cheers, Jen.
- Hiya,I am 53 and had my lumpectomy last year. There is no breast cancer in my family on either side. I would have loved to have had kids but seemed to forget to until at 35 my biological clock was yelling! Had a few long term relationships and by agreement didn't use protection. Had a menstrual cycle that was extremely precise all my life and basically just stopped around 50. Never had any gynae issues. Very minor menopause symptoms - just hot flushes for a month or two. Had a miscarriage when 37 at 7 weeks. My sister is 51 and extremely fertile! My mum had me at 30. Not sure why it didn't work for me other than a long history of depression and anxiety since 26. Don't know if that could have stopped me falling pregnant. I also read about the nuns and their high incidences of breast and ovarian cancer. It would be interesting to see a statistic re childlessness and chance of occurrence of breast cancer. Even though we know from our sisters on here that some have many kids, others are into amazingly healthy diets and some are athletes pre breast cancer. Statistics on all this would form a wider picture. My feeling with my own chemo onc is that her response to my questions was 'it doesn't matter how you got it, you have it' - she is very busy tho and not into bedside manner!;)
- I guess we made these decisions mindfully at the time, we can't go back on the past. We did what was right for us at the time.
I would like to find out more on statistics of these things purely for curiousity sake. We are walking on fresh ground with all these hormonal issues our grandmothers didn't deal with years ago. I found these days we seem to want to find a reason, criticism from other people, they want to know what I did in order to control their bodies through diet or whatever in order to avoid. So blaming is fruitless, whilst annoying but there are some things out of our control.
Thanks for taking the time to answer. And I didn't have family history of bc either!
