Forum Discussion
Are you a breast cancer survivor who happens to be childless?
I have been a member of this online network since 2014, just after my diagnosis. At a recent breast cancer seminar at a city near where I live, something hit me like it hasn't in all this time, the subject of survivors who happen to be childless. I thought to myself, "Noone talks about this. Why?"
This has led me to do my research, as you do, I found this demographic of women are at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. It is explained this way, you are at a lower risk of diagnosis if you have children.
Interesting I thought, Nuns are at a higher risk of breast cancer and ovarian, not that I am a Nun but an interesting statistic that gets me thinking. Which brings me to why I am posting.
I am putting it out there in a courageous way to see if there is another like me. Courageous because for 30 years after my extensive efforts to go forth and multiply I walked away childless. The one thing I learned was to keep it to yourself as I found there were lots of people willing to give you their advice, just like they do with breast cancer 'cures', an emotive issue is best kept to yourself for your own emotional survival.
I am running a personal survey just to see if there are other women within this network who are in the same boat as me. Does anyone else feel a little left out when sitting in a seminar and not to be included in the discussions? I tell ya, there is a real sense of alienation, but culturally we are told to, 'just get over it', which is fine and life for me has been fulfilling in spite of it all.
My GP doesn't know of another single patient like me which isn't very encouraging in finding my tribe, my mother always said I am different when all you want to do is be like everyone else. So please step forward if you are like me or if you know someone who has a similar story.
I feel it is a subject that needs discussion and inclusion because in society we, the childless women are 1 in 5, by choice or by circumstance.
Cheers Janet
This has led me to do my research, as you do, I found this demographic of women are at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. It is explained this way, you are at a lower risk of diagnosis if you have children.
Interesting I thought, Nuns are at a higher risk of breast cancer and ovarian, not that I am a Nun but an interesting statistic that gets me thinking. Which brings me to why I am posting.
I am putting it out there in a courageous way to see if there is another like me. Courageous because for 30 years after my extensive efforts to go forth and multiply I walked away childless. The one thing I learned was to keep it to yourself as I found there were lots of people willing to give you their advice, just like they do with breast cancer 'cures', an emotive issue is best kept to yourself for your own emotional survival.
I am running a personal survey just to see if there are other women within this network who are in the same boat as me. Does anyone else feel a little left out when sitting in a seminar and not to be included in the discussions? I tell ya, there is a real sense of alienation, but culturally we are told to, 'just get over it', which is fine and life for me has been fulfilling in spite of it all.
My GP doesn't know of another single patient like me which isn't very encouraging in finding my tribe, my mother always said I am different when all you want to do is be like everyone else. So please step forward if you are like me or if you know someone who has a similar story.
I feel it is a subject that needs discussion and inclusion because in society we, the childless women are 1 in 5, by choice or by circumstance.
Cheers Janet
141 Replies
- From what I've learned, as it happens, nuns are, as a demographic, at a higher risk. Risk factors (amongst others) are...early menarche (first period), no pregnancies, no or little breastfeeding, overweight, alcohol and more. There is also recent and ongoing research into breast cancer in transgender (male to female) people. Seems to me that the hormones play a large role. The pregnancies and extended breastfeeding change things. I know that for me, I had one period between conceiving my son, breastfeeding him for two years and four months, conceiving my daughter (there was the one period inbetween), and then feeding her for two years and one month. I started my periods at age fourteen, had three babies (lost one), fed two for extended periods of time, had no family history at all, was not overweight, very occasional social drinker, and so statistically, should have been low risk. Tell that to the Cosmic Clowns.
- I asked my GP a few years ago (long before I was diagnosed with BC) what her thoughts were regarding IVF and breast or ovarian cancer. Her response was: no evidence but also little research, so she wouldn't rule it out as a possible factor. And I suspect it could be the same for long term hormonal contraceptive use - I think they took the high dose oestrogen Pill off the market years ago for that reason (but I may be misremembering).
- Yes, perhaps unfair but I guess my point is we are a demographic, 1 in 5 women, so we count! We have concerns about our health so far I can't find many answers but I'm onto it.
We can say woes to me but to find a group where you can express an opinion and be answered is fairly special. I am not looking for a group that talks about the why nots but a group who's opinion matters. Childless women hardly ever get asked, famous quote from Julia Gillard to Barack Obama, 'you think being black and president is difficult, try being white single female without children'. We have so much to bring to the table, we have the advantage of allowing children to grow and be free without the restraints that a mother might bestow on their children in fear of accidents or whatever.
Smokie, originally from Victor Harbor now living in North Queensland in a beautiful valley south of Mackay. - Hi Ladies, I am 45 and childless by choice. I just never felt a strong enough desire to have my own. I have ended up raising 3 step children, and I think this has definately helped me not having any regrets for my decision. I have felt left out in many, many, many situations....not just BC. I joined a young women's BC FB page (I am sort of in the middle of the age groups) but find it hard to connect as mostly have small children.
I feel for those that wanted children but were not able, especially when there are so many women who have them and then decide to walk away (like my circumstances). So many things in life just seem so unfair. - Well, the conversation from him was certainly sensitive to me and my concerns and he took time with me in the conversation. He says there is no connection? Have studies been done, no. There is always a doubt in the back of my mind though, imagine if it did get out and there was some sort of connection....all those hormones they pump us with, experimentation certainly of our bodies, I was a pioneer of sorts back in 1990 it was all new stuff then. He was vague in saying that no, is it protection for the institution? This just highlights our concerns as a group and the questions that don't get answered which brought me to start this conversation.
I would like to get statistics on this and the connection of childlessness and bc just for peace of mind.
I still have a house in Encounter Bay, I love it there. The Heysen trail is so special to be able to walk along the coast hey. Getting busy now though! - Hi Janet A I am also childless by choice . I wonder sometimes if by using the contraceptive injection for years and the pill contributed to my cancer . Mine was TNBC so no hormones involved it just plays on the mind sometimes . Did you say you were from Adelaide as well?
- What did the doctor say about the IVF? I have ILC, too. Not that I would change a thing. I love my monkeys and to be perfectly honest, they're the main reason I'm putting my body through all of this treatment and, as I don't have any close family left, they and my husband are it. Love Victor and surrounding coast - one of my favourite places in the world.
- Hello Jane,
I called Flinders Hospital in Adelaide where I did IVF and my exploratory surgeries to ask if doing the treatment could have caused my invasive lobular carcinoma. I spoke to a very nice doctor who took the time to explain and make sure I was ok about it, in fact the entire staff who assisted were lovely. Does make you wonder. I wouldn't have changed any of my past however and conceded that the ectopic pregnancy that ended nastily and following surgery probably did me in.
Thank you for your story, do you think if there was a support group on this forum during your treatment, presuming you have completed, would have been helpful? So many unanswered questions for us as a group of women.
Thank you sister for your reply, it isn't always easy to get there and I don't think you ever forget the experience and I bet you cherish your children, yes we may have spare cash, but.....by the way I am originally from Victor Harbor! - I do have kids so I'm not able to comment on childless by choice or by circumstance but it didn't happen until my late 30s. I had a bad miscarriage first off which could easily have made me infertile and I also went through IVF for 18 months to get pregnant with my second child. I remember the pain of everyone else getting pregnant. And breastfeeding when the babies came was always a nightmare. So, I do wonder about those things. I am also one of the few in my close circle of friends who does have kids - most are childless by choice, and sometimes I have to admit that I envy their freedom (and spare cash).
- I’m another one. My husband and I would have loved to have children but it just didn’t happen. No reason. We did IVF for 3 years which is a hell of a roller coaster in itself. We did have 2 pregnancies which sadly ended in miscarriages at 14 and 10 weeks. I am now 56 and family have finally stopped feeling sorry for me but, oh how hard it was when we were surrounded by all the new babies at that time!
We are OK with being childless now and are enjoying the next generation of babies coming from all our nieces and nephews.
Did all the IVF drugs kick start my 100% ER/PR breast cancer? Who knows but it was something we had to do - we gave it our best shot and have no regrets.
It’s interesting that being childless (by choice or otherwise) isn’t something we have necessarily shared here previously and I’m quite humbled by how many of us have shared this. Jane x
