Forum Discussion
4 years.
Four years ago, the 12th of May was Mother's Day. The previous week had been probably the most challenging of my life but was nothing to what I would go through in the coming months.
On the previous Monday I had been called in to see my GP (ahead of my scheduled appointment for later that week) to be told that my mammogram and ultrasound showed something suspicious of malignancy. I drove home and shortly afterwards received a phone call from the breast surgeon's receptionist giving me an appointment for 7.30am that Wednesday.
The breast surgeon did some biopsies but told us (my husband was with me) that she was certain this was cancer. The biopsy would give her more information about what type etc. There were different types? We had a lot to learn!
So, that Mother's Day was spent in a weird suspended state. I felt completely disconnected from the normal world around me.
On the following Monday (the 13th!), my breast surgeon rang to confirm that the early results from the biopsy showed hormone positive breast cancer. I was given a choice of the next afternoon or the Thursday morning for my mastectomy surgery. Things were moving fast and on one hand this was reassuring, but I needed to prepare myself, so Thursday it was.
Well that was the beginning and step by step, and with a lot of support and assistance from people on this network (my surgeon gave me the BCNA information book on early breast cancer at that first appointment!) I got through surgery, chemo and radiation. By Christmas I was on Tamoxifen and learning that in many ways my biggest challenge still lay ahead of me. I was only 47 but felt about 87 most days!
I was exhausted, scared and all my confidence was gone. I had to find a way forward, a way to live well, side effects and all. Step by step and with lots of support I found my way to solid ground again. For me it was not about trying to return to my 'normal' or old life. I wanted to make changes and live as well as I could.
It has been a slow process and one that is still evolving as life comes up with new challenges too. I started with things that were easier to change and found that each step made the next one more reachable. Now, 4 years later, I am happy with what I have achieved and motivated to keep going.
My next challenge is downsizing. Leaving our lovely (but too big, too much maintenance etc) family home and making a new, simpler life. My girls are 24 and 22 now, and living more independent lives.
There is something I try to remember whenever life gets challenging:
Thank-you to all of you who have helped to make the last 4 years as good as they could be. xxx
On the previous Monday I had been called in to see my GP (ahead of my scheduled appointment for later that week) to be told that my mammogram and ultrasound showed something suspicious of malignancy. I drove home and shortly afterwards received a phone call from the breast surgeon's receptionist giving me an appointment for 7.30am that Wednesday.
The breast surgeon did some biopsies but told us (my husband was with me) that she was certain this was cancer. The biopsy would give her more information about what type etc. There were different types? We had a lot to learn!
So, that Mother's Day was spent in a weird suspended state. I felt completely disconnected from the normal world around me.
On the following Monday (the 13th!), my breast surgeon rang to confirm that the early results from the biopsy showed hormone positive breast cancer. I was given a choice of the next afternoon or the Thursday morning for my mastectomy surgery. Things were moving fast and on one hand this was reassuring, but I needed to prepare myself, so Thursday it was.
Well that was the beginning and step by step, and with a lot of support and assistance from people on this network (my surgeon gave me the BCNA information book on early breast cancer at that first appointment!) I got through surgery, chemo and radiation. By Christmas I was on Tamoxifen and learning that in many ways my biggest challenge still lay ahead of me. I was only 47 but felt about 87 most days!
I was exhausted, scared and all my confidence was gone. I had to find a way forward, a way to live well, side effects and all. Step by step and with lots of support I found my way to solid ground again. For me it was not about trying to return to my 'normal' or old life. I wanted to make changes and live as well as I could.
It has been a slow process and one that is still evolving as life comes up with new challenges too. I started with things that were easier to change and found that each step made the next one more reachable. Now, 4 years later, I am happy with what I have achieved and motivated to keep going.
My next challenge is downsizing. Leaving our lovely (but too big, too much maintenance etc) family home and making a new, simpler life. My girls are 24 and 22 now, and living more independent lives.
There is something I try to remember whenever life gets challenging:
Thank-you to all of you who have helped to make the last 4 years as good as they could be. xxx
18 Replies
- @Deanne I can't imagine how absolutely stunning it must be in real life because the pictures are so incredible. Congratulations on another mammoth achievement and absolute bummer about having to turn back but it just means that you have set your personal best and will have to go again!! :smiley:
This was one of the most memorable moments from this trek. We trekked up a ridge behind the village of Dingboche. At this point we were about 4600m above sea level. It was a tad windy (80-100km/h) but the absolute most exhilarating experience of my life!
Unfortunately I got a cold the next day and two days later, at about 5000m on the way to Base Camp (5350), I had trouble breathing and had to turn back with one of the guides. So did not actually make it all the way this time :/. But I still loved the whole experience and was happy with everything I did accomplish. Every other day my body performed well. Another reminder to concentrate on what I could control and be very happy with that. :)
Here we go @socoda.
The top photo is Base Camp at 2am. You can see a trail of lights going up the trail to Mt Everest. These are the head lamps of the Sherpas as they carry supplies up to Camp 1 and 2. Part of our group this time stayed behind to climb Lhotse (the peak right next to Everest). They are making their bid for the summit at the moment. Hope to hear they have made it safely sometime in the next day or two. Lhotse is the fourth highest mountain in the world.
The bottom photo is our group at the finish 'line' of the trek. I am in a purple jacket, centre at the back, left hand in the air. We had just walked for 6 and 3/4 hours, mostly in the rain. Still smiling and I am still keen to go trekking again in this amazing little country! Very lucky to have been a part of this Nepalese adventure. :)- Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy Deanne!!!!!!! Wooohooooo four years is so wonderful. I have to say that I have found you and your posts to be soooo very inspirational. Haven't seen any pics yet of the latest trek??????? But loved meeting you and have to say your positivity is awesome. Doing a mad crazy happy dance for your 4 years and hugs and wishes for decades and decades more. Xx
- Congratulations Deanne and thank you for sharing your insights and thoughts so freely and generously over the years. I have always enjoyed reading your posts and comments. Love the quote you shared too as lack of control is something that I know I have struggled with over the years and am finally coming to some acceptance of. Best wishes for this next phase of your life and hoping you have an amazing Mother's Day this year xx
- Congratulations on 4 years Deanne! Thank you for sharing your post - it is difficult to find acceptance with our new normal and to move forward but knowing that all the ladies here are a wealth if knowledge and support gives me comfort. Happy mother's day!
- Hi there Deanne I was diagnosed a few days prior to mothers day last year and it was all a bit of a blur to me too. So pleased you are at the 4 year mark, well done, your post is quite inspirational and I wish you a lifetime of health and happiness always. This is definitely the place to come when we have a moment that's for sure. I hope you have a beautiful mothers day tomorrow too. Margie :) xx
- Thank-you all for your lovely comments. Yes, Christine, it is awful to think about that tumour growing quickly. I was glad that things moved quickly but it took me ages to 'catch up' with what was happening. Everything around me was going fast but I felt 'slow'! I agree @iserbrown acceptance is the key but also lots of learning from each other. I know I would not be where I am today without the help of many others, especially many of you on here. The support of fellow BCNA members has been crucial to my new life after bc.
We are all individuals and often differ in our choices but at the end of the day we all want the same thing - the best life we can have while dealing with this horrible disease and its everlasting, everchanging effects. When I am having a 'moment' I know this is a safe place to come. Sometimes it is enough to just read a few posts and rebalance myself. Sometimes I can help someone else. Sometimes I need to share!
Happy Mother's Day everyone! xxx - Deanne you mention 12 May that date makes me shudder. That was my Mastectomy date. My surgeon and his team are very caring and brilliant. I was to be earlier but I bought a few days. My tumour had grown from diagnosis day to operating day. Shudder shudder! But I know I have learnt heaps and take it all in my stride. Acceptance is the key to coping and looking forward.
Take care from Christine - Well done Deanne, I know how hard you have worked to have positive outcomes in your life. You have achieved so much since that fateful day, you are also a huge support to so many on the network. It was lovely to finally meet you this year.
Have an awesome mothers day .... much better than 4 years ago!!!
Hugs
Paula xxxx
