Remember our words can impact others.
It is with regret I will become much less active on the site. I will continue to support people in groups or who pm me but feel I need to step away from the site. I'm afraid I'm disappointed with...
Forum Discussion
@primek you make some good points. In the last week or so I've been thinking about how the division here makes me feel and how it makes me react.
I've always been a fierce defender of any one I perceive is getting treated unfairly. That's well and good and in many cases I've managed to make considerable differences to potentially shitty outcomes when someone is not able to stand up for themselves.
The problem comes with the term 'perception'. This is why I always shy away from any arguments about religion, politics or sport. I simply can not understand why these things are so important to people. I have no idea why people choose to align themselves with a group and become antagonistic towards others who believe differently. The problem is, I've recently found myself doing it too. My concept of fair play has seen me, unwittingly, take sides and play the player rather than the ball.
I need to remind myself that interfering when someone is getting hassled at a pub, attacked in a carpark or unfairly treated by a government agency is different from getting my knickers in a bunch over an argument between people I don't know about language.
Swearing doesn't worry me and I am unlikely to change my behaviour in that regard now. I'm also prone to saying things that are controversial or that people disagree with. That is not always a bad thing as it opens up avenues to think differently about situations which doesn't always happen when people are being polite and going with the flow. But it does piss some people off. I often win arguments (generally by doggedly sticking to the subject ) which doesn't always enamour me to those who's point of view is not upheld. Too bad.
What I do have to do is think about my concept of the enemy or opposition. Am I making the right assumptions about people's motives when all I have is a couple of lines of text to use as evidence? Quite possibly not. This is very different from the 'real' world where I have a much better chance of figuring out what people's intentions are by observing them more closely.
So yes, getting myself into a situation where I was moderated (I knew full well that would happen) doesn't line up with the reason I originally started participating with the site and I must say it has taken all the pleasure out of it.
Food for thought in the future. There are, sadly, new people joining this group every day. Many of them are wise and funny and kind. It's natural for the old guard to step back and let others step up. It's just a pity to see that happen under the current circumstances. Take care. Marg xxx
I've always been a fierce defender of any one I perceive is getting treated unfairly. That's well and good and in many cases I've managed to make considerable differences to potentially shitty outcomes when someone is not able to stand up for themselves.
The problem comes with the term 'perception'. This is why I always shy away from any arguments about religion, politics or sport. I simply can not understand why these things are so important to people. I have no idea why people choose to align themselves with a group and become antagonistic towards others who believe differently. The problem is, I've recently found myself doing it too. My concept of fair play has seen me, unwittingly, take sides and play the player rather than the ball.
I need to remind myself that interfering when someone is getting hassled at a pub, attacked in a carpark or unfairly treated by a government agency is different from getting my knickers in a bunch over an argument between people I don't know about language.
Swearing doesn't worry me and I am unlikely to change my behaviour in that regard now. I'm also prone to saying things that are controversial or that people disagree with. That is not always a bad thing as it opens up avenues to think differently about situations which doesn't always happen when people are being polite and going with the flow. But it does piss some people off. I often win arguments (generally by doggedly sticking to the subject ) which doesn't always enamour me to those who's point of view is not upheld. Too bad.
What I do have to do is think about my concept of the enemy or opposition. Am I making the right assumptions about people's motives when all I have is a couple of lines of text to use as evidence? Quite possibly not. This is very different from the 'real' world where I have a much better chance of figuring out what people's intentions are by observing them more closely.
So yes, getting myself into a situation where I was moderated (I knew full well that would happen) doesn't line up with the reason I originally started participating with the site and I must say it has taken all the pleasure out of it.
Food for thought in the future. There are, sadly, new people joining this group every day. Many of them are wise and funny and kind. It's natural for the old guard to step back and let others step up. It's just a pity to see that happen under the current circumstances. Take care. Marg xxx