Newly diagnosed mother
Hi everyone, My mother has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. We are only in the early stages. They have found the cancer in her lymph nodes under her arm and currently can not find the primary...
Forum Discussion
@Sgamble One of the things we talk about here is just to let your Mum have all the emotions. Believing you just need to be positive isn't realistic and feeling frightened, overwhelmed, depressed and facing your mortality are all very real and normal responses to breast cancer. Believe me...there is nothing that can take away the stress of a biopsy. Having you there for support is enough and more than likely your Mum would prefer to just go home, have a big bawl and just sleep or have a lie down (as quite frankly she probably hasn't slept for a while). The diagnostic process at the beginning for anyone newly diagnosed feels overwhelming. We all get that. Once surgery and or chemo starts you at least have a plan. Your Mum (and yourself) still has the big wait for pathology so they can determine which chemo regime she will be on. It will feel an eternity.
Yes ...losing someone close of breast or any cancer brings the reality of what your Mum has to face and what could be the outcome. My sister in law died the day of my biopsy. I attended her funeral with the thought that this could be me and my family in the future. I also had lost my sister to breast cancer. All very real fears and thoughts. I and most likely many bc sisters have thought like this and felt this at the beginning (and through treatment at times too). ..but we still got through. Being positive outwardly doesn't change how you feel inside. Quite frankly the brave face for others is exhausting. Just being there and allowing your Mum to express her fears is the best gift you can give. (But the odd pedi and trip out really does help a bit too )
As to the mortgage. I thought most mortgages had a built in insurance coverage for major illness. It may be just a death benefit but it might not be. It's worth checking that out to. Hopefully your Mum will tolerate chemo well and may want to continue to work throughtout. I took some long service leave and annual leave to reduce the financial drain.
This is a hard process for both of you. Ask about a breast care nurse connected to your treating centre as they can provide invaluable support. Kath x
Yes ...losing someone close of breast or any cancer brings the reality of what your Mum has to face and what could be the outcome. My sister in law died the day of my biopsy. I attended her funeral with the thought that this could be me and my family in the future. I also had lost my sister to breast cancer. All very real fears and thoughts. I and most likely many bc sisters have thought like this and felt this at the beginning (and through treatment at times too). ..but we still got through. Being positive outwardly doesn't change how you feel inside. Quite frankly the brave face for others is exhausting. Just being there and allowing your Mum to express her fears is the best gift you can give. (But the odd pedi and trip out really does help a bit too )
As to the mortgage. I thought most mortgages had a built in insurance coverage for major illness. It may be just a death benefit but it might not be. It's worth checking that out to. Hopefully your Mum will tolerate chemo well and may want to continue to work throughtout. I took some long service leave and annual leave to reduce the financial drain.
This is a hard process for both of you. Ask about a breast care nurse connected to your treating centre as they can provide invaluable support. Kath x