My Story

Hi Clayton,  What a wonderful thing to do.  From my experience, men find it difficult to cope with their loved one's diagnosis.  When I was first diagnosed 4.5 years the first thing my then partner (now husband) said "I'm the breadwinner" and put himself totally into earning more. This was really funny as my insurances had us covered - but that was how he decided he was going to cope.  This time around he has been the "worry wart" as he has his own medical condition now as well (hopefully it is only short-term).  I know that I try to stay very positive and "normal" so that he does not feel under any more pressure.  He is my huge support but he finds it difficult due to the fact that normally I am the one in total control of everything re the household.  Little by little I am trying to teach him things (household finances etc) and giving him more control over things so that he has the confidence to "get out of his comfort zone".  On the emotional side he can be very overprotective of me to the point of not letting me "know what I can do".  He hates to see me do too much and fall in a heap but what the heck I enjoy it whilst I am doing it.  Probably what I am trying to say to you is this - if you can get a support group together the men would need to open up about their situation (you men don't like to do this).  By talking about your own situations I'm certain that there would be so much common ground - like the things that I have listed above.  You guys are smart and could figure out ways to deal with the issues.  Us BC survivors need love and support but also need our own indivuality maintained.  I hope to live for a long time but when things looked quite bad for me, my husband always dismissed the worst scenerio.  Also men seem to like to be a bit "distracted".  From a woman's point of view I think that a Support Group would also have to incorporate some other activity ie a touch team/fishing group/walking group to keep the blokes connected.  I hope this makes sense and is helpful to you. Good luck with your endeavour. XLeonie