Mum always knows everything!

I managed to tell mum by phone but couldn’t face my sisters. Had hubby tell one and the other still hasn’t been told. I don’t have the time or energy to put into their competitive drama filled crap so have stuck my head in the sand 

@Sarnicad You are the most important person now so what you want rules sista!

I have really missed my Mum's counsel and practical support, although I also feel that she has been spared the heartache. Telling my Dad about my mets diagnosis has been really hard. He relies on me for a lot of support, and had his own cancer diagnosis a couple of years ago. He offered me all his money, and then suggested that I take his 81 year-old bone marrow; I had to explain that this was not a treatment option. Bless him. My sisters are so different- one has been wonderful and supportive. The other has somehow made it all about her. She is angry with me, because I refuse to get dramatic, and she keeps posting lovehearts on facebook, which she knows I hate. My brothers cried and needed reassurance. None of these responses have been a surprise, but I suppose when our emotions are running so high, we really need something different from our family, and they just don't always deliver that. We just have to work with what we have, and be firm about emotional intrusions and unwelcome advice. I love my family immensely, but managing their fear is exhausting. Good luck, @NotHappyJan. You know them best, and you will know the right way to deliver the news. xx

I thought the same thing, lucky I have a wonderful sister. I told her exactly how I felt about Mum (just like you feel). I told her I would not cope with the mother knows best attitude and all the questions that would come with it. She said leave it to me. I am not sure exactly what she said, but it did the trick. By the time I called my parents they were nothing but supportive. No silly questions, just lots of love and support. If you don’t have someone like my sister, just be honest with your Mum and let her know you need her love and support, without the Mum knows best attitude. 
Hopefully things will work out with your Mum. Remember no matter what she will love you. 
Paula xx

I have a relative who phoned often giving much stupid and unwanted advice.  I don’t know if it was the chemo drugs, the drugs for nausea or just having cancer but I found to my surprise I would get  angry pretty quickly and put him in his place, which I wouldn’t have done before.  So you may be surprised how well you stand up for yourself.  Best of luck.  

@Karenhappyquilter. Yep, that filter gets broken pretty quickly, doesn't it?!

Thanks to all.  Mum was very good yesterday when I told her (hopefully it will stay like that) - yep I think I misjudged her. fingers crossed x

I was wondering how you'd gotten on.  Glad that it worked out although you may have to remind her occasionally!

Glad it worked out but agree with @Zoffiel and @Sister - leopards generally don’t change their spots so a gentle but firm reminder may be needed once the shock has worn off Mum.Still it behoves to remember it may be with the best of intentions however clumsy - hard to stop being protective whatever age your child is.

So glad to hear that, slighty more happy Jan! K xox