Newly diagnosed, waiting for sugery and scared
Hi, my name is Libby and I'm 41 and diagnosed with ILC and DCIS in my right breast early November...been prodded, poked, squeezed, pushed for the last few weeks and by the sounds of it a lot more to come. My sugery is booked in for 3 December and at the moment the hardest thing I am finding is knowing that I have cancer in me and I have to wait till Dec to get it out...I am so worried that it will spread in that time...but I know after visiting my specialist several times that there are a lot of women out there just like me waiting for their sugery too. I am having a lumpectomy and hoping that results come back after sugery in a positive light...that would be a nice xmas pressie...I have 5 children aged 16, 15, 10, 9 & 7...I have told my older children but am not quite sure what to say to my younger ones...friends are telling me not to tell them that I have cancer because I will simply worry them unnecessarily but would rather get advice from women that have experienced what I'm dealing with...so any thoughts would be appreciated. I am an earlychildhood teacher and have left work whilst I deal with this...a lot of people work through their entire treatment which is amazing..but I know in myself that I need to take time to walk on the beach, enjoy the sunshine, breath the air, spend extra time with family, bake biscuits lol...basically wrap my head around what is going on...I still think I am going to receive a phone call telling me it is a mistake...I feel lazy that I'm not working...I would perhaps consider working but the face to face contact with the kids is too much (some are aggressive). I have been reading the blogs everyday and end up crying...I just can't stop crying sometimes...I put on this brave face for the kids and my partner but I am so scared...I know everyone says it's not as bad as you think and stay positive but at the moment I guess I'm having a down day...hope I don't have too many of them. Ok, well thanks for listening to my waffle everyone :-)
Libby