Hi there,
i agree everyone's situation is different, and you need to follow what you think is best for you. I think the biggest struggle we all face is that we can not get any clear direction about our level of risk as everyone is unique and what worked for one person does not necessarily work for another and we still don't really understand why. That of course does not make our decision making process any easier.
In my situation I had a mother with BC separate diagnosis, separate breasts different cancers age 60. My niece BC diagnosis at 34 triple neg. my diagnosis age 51.
Now whilst my treatment recommended was Uni mastectomy, I elected to have bilateral. To make my decision I took into account, family history, my pathology and the likelihood that it would return/ occur in the other breast, what steps I needed to take to feel that I had done everything in my power to ensure I did not have to go through this roller coaster again. I do not regret my decision and I would make the same decision again.
It is perfectly valid to be considering risk reduction, symmetry and body image when you are considering your options, healing is both a physical and emotional and mental exercise. Stress can be a contributing factor to cancer as well so reducing stress wether real or perceived is also valid.
i also elected not to save my nipples as that increased my risk of return. Post my decision I have also found out that genetic testing on my niece was negative, however we are still classed as a high risk family (BRCA gene is only a small % anyway)
my only advice to you would be ask lots of questions, get all the information you need and make the best decision for you, your situation is unique and your treatment is for you.
Sending lots of hugs -
Chris xx