I was diagnosed with breast cancer just over a month ago. Since then, I've had an overwhelming whirlwind of medical appointments and 3 lots of breast conserving surgery, over a 19 day period. At my last visit to my surgeon, I was told that I still have high grade DCIS and so I will need a mastectomy and he's recommende breast reconstruction after that. I've been reading up on what that entails and let's just say I'm in shock.Before I have to face all that though, I have to get through chemo, which I start next Thursday. I'll be on 4 rounds of AC, at 3 week intervals to start with and then 12 rounds of Taxol. While I'm a little apprehensive about the side effects, the thing that bothers me the most is my hair loss. My hair is currently a bit past my shoulders and is very soft, shiny and well cared for. Oh, how I am going to miss my beautiful hair! I already have some hats and scarves at the ready but I am struggling with whether I should get it cut off before it starts to fall out, or if I should just wait and let chemo take its course. I've read a bit from some other ladies who say that getting it cut short first is empowering. Still haven't made my mind up either way though. Whatever I decide though, I think the surgeries I've already had was the easy bit and there are bigger, harder challenges to come. I just hope I can keep a sense of humor going and there will be tears of laughter as well as tears of sadness and loss.

Thanks for your reply Jenny. I feel a bit silly being so emotional about such a vanity as hair but the thought of saying goodbye to it makes me cry every time I think about it. I think I probably should cut it before it falls out. Maybe the least traumatic of my options. I'm really glad to hear that you are on the other side of chemo now. It's very comforting to know there is 'the other side' to all this. I've had so much information thrown at me in such a short space of time. I think too that up until now, it hasn't quite felt real. Yes, I've just had three surgeries but I've been in hospital and had surgeries before, so that's not really a new experience for me. At the moment, I'm bruised and sore but I don't feel or look sick. I know once I have that first chemo treatment, all that will change pretty quickly. I have a colleague who has recently finished her chemo and she told me that once she started chemo, she couldn't hide her cancer from anyone. Her appearance immediately gave her away, even on the days she didn't feel so bad. That will be hard. Seeing my condition reflected back to me in the looks on people's faces. i totally agree with you. This is a club no one wants to join. Although, I suspect it is a club that will give as much as it takes. I know I won't be the same person at the end of my cancer journey but I am hoping I will be a better one. :) xx

Hi Meredyth, I finished 18 weeks chemo in May, and the hair loss seemed like the toughest thing to face but it has turned out OK. I have turned it into a game. I have had long hair since I was a small child so had no idea what short hair would look like, let alone no hair. I had it cut before it fell and got so many compliments on the short bob that I realised it might work out OK. Throughout my chemo I made a game of playing dress- ups with hats and scarves so instead of pitying looks, I got compliments on looking so stylish. By the end of treatment I wanted to pass for 'normal' so started wearing wigs most of the time: a free cancer council one and three others I bought on line for around $40 each. So again it is a game, as my wigs are different styles and colours. People I work with say they like to speculate on what colour I will be each day, it seems to give them a fun and accessible way to acknowledge that I am going through something, and we can have a laugh about it. My hair is growing now, soft and nice to feel, but a sort of mousy nothing colour combined with lots of grey, so I am sticking with the wigs for a bit longer at work. I did spend the day bare- headed on Sunday for the first time and no one seemed to notice much. So yes it is traumatic, but my way of coping was to turn it into a game. Now I plan to keep playing with styles and colours when it grows back. For most of us I think it is just about the biggest challenge, but we all find a way to cope and I'm sure you will find the way that works for you, but there will be tears first! Viv xxx

Thanks Viv. I have been joking that I would go to the $2 Shop & buy a whole heap of funny wigs to wear to work each day. I also borrowed an Amy Winehouse wig to wear to a fancy dress party. It suited me, so maybe I should buy one! :) It would be good to keep it fun. I already have some hats & scarves. Don't know yet if I should get a nice wig or not. Did you keep your hair when you had it cut off?

I have a feeling the easy bit is over

16 Replies

Onga
Member
11 years ago
Meredyth you need to find Look Good, Feel Better. These people are wonderful and give you so many tips to help you along your journey. My hair and eyelashes were so important to me. I had silk eyelash extensions and only just lost the last of them in the last week, so I am now learning how to use eyeliner. My friend at work helped me when my hair started to fall out. She used to clear the blonde hairs that were falling out, off my black work jumper with sticky tape, when it got to be happening too much I visited my hairdresser for the very short cut - not a crew cut as I needed some hair for warmth (not that I kept much) One thing that really helped my finger nails, was that they told me to put shellac on my nails as that would give them the best protection from the chemo. Thank heavens I listened, a month after the chemo and my nails have large dark brown marks on them, but they are still there and haven't fallen off or chipped away. It was scary when I cut my toe nails and found how brittle they were, not so for my finger nails. Good luck and keep reading everyone's posts Cheers. Pam. Xxxx
Meredyth
Member
11 years ago
Thank you so much ladies, for all your comforting comments. I have decided to get my hair cut short before the chemo takes it. I like the concept of it being my choice. Something that I can control in a world where I suddenly feel like I have so little control over my own body.
Tomorrow I am going for an orientation session at the hospital, before starting chemo on Thursday. After the visit tomorrow, one of my darling friends is taking me to her hairdresser to have my hair cut very short. It's going to be very hard and I know there will be lots of tears but I really think it's for the best. Tomorrow morning I will clean my hair brushes and pack them away with my hairclips, until they are needed again.
I think that when the chemo kicks in and what's left of my hair starts to go, it will less traumatic than leaving my hair as it is now,
The one consolation I have is that my 3 cats love to share their fur and I long ago gave up trying to keep it off my clothes, so now, although I may have no hair of my own for awhile, I will have hair with me wherever I go, even if it's just cat hair! :)

Thanks again for giving me support and comfort. It really does make a difference to be able to connect with women who appreciate how I feel on this, most unwelcome of journeys.
Meredyth
Member
11 years ago
Thank you so much ladies, for all your comforting comments. I have decided to get my hair cut short before the chemo takes it. I like the concept of it being my choice. Something that I can control in a world where I suddenly feel like I have so little control over my own body.
Tomorrow I am going for an orientation session at the hospital, before starting chemo on Thursday. After the visit tomorrow, one of my darling friends is taking me to her hairdresser to have my hair cut very short. It's going to be very hard and I know there will be lots of tears but I really think it's for the best. Tomorrow morning I will clean my hair brushes and pack them away with my hairclips, until they are needed again.
I think that when the chemo kicks in and what's left of my hair starts to go, it will less traumatic than leaving my hair as it is now,
The one consolation I have is that my 3 cats love to share their fur and I long ago gave up trying to keep it off my clothes, so now, although I may have no hair of my own for awhile, I will have hair with me wherever I go, even if it's just cat hair! :)

Thanks again for giving me support and comfort. It really does make a difference to be able to connect with women who appreciate how I feel on this, most unwelcome of journeys.
Meredyth
Member
11 years ago
Hi Rowdy.

Yes, I am very tired of hearing bad news. What I've read so far (and it's not really all that much as yet) in respect of mastectomy and reconstruction has horrified me. I was assured by my surgeon that I'll look very natural once it's all healed but the whole process sounds so horrendous and traumatic. Little things, like not having a nipple or, if I get them to make me a new one, the new one not having any feeling in it was stuff I had never considered. I know I'm silly for worrying about it now, when I still have chemo to get through first but every time I think about losing my breast, I cry. I was so banking on getting a good result from the breast conservation surgery. Just not meant to be, I guess.
Meredyth
Member
11 years ago
Not silly at all Viv. :) I've been told it's important to hang onto things that are an important part of your cancer journey. I have kept my hospital wrist bands so far. I might just keep a lock of my hair, to remind me of how it used to be. :)
Hazel_M
Member
11 years ago
I didn't have great hair pre cancer but I still got upset when the day came for it to fall out. I did get my partner to cut it right back because it was all over the house. I thought at the time that I would never go out of the house except for hospital visits, but over time I started being creative with scarves and got myself a wig from the cancer council and when I ventured out I tried to wear it like I owned it. I finished chemo in March and it's been growing back, for the last 10 days I have had no head covers on and people have remarked how 'trendy' I look. You're not being silly to worry about yout hair, most of us have been through it and whatever you are feeling, that's ok for you to feel like that. There will be an end to your journey, take one day at a time and hop onto this site whenever you need to vent or have any questions and we will all try to help you, wishing you all the best for whatever treatment you have, take care,

Hazel xx
Johjoh
Member
11 years ago
Hi Meridith I too had hair just past my shoulders. Before I started chemo I decided to cut my hair short to get used to the look and gradually get used to having no hair. After 2 weeks of starting chemo I noticed my hair start to fall out. I would shower and have heaps of hair on my hands or wake up in the morning and notice heaps of my hair on my pillow. It was really starting to effect me seeing it fall out, I was getting depressed. After the 3rd day of watching my hair fall out I decided to give myself a clipper 1 cut. It was the best thing I did! I no longer had to see it fall out and I felt really good and proud that I took it upon myself to do it. I'm not a wig person so I bought a few hats that I continue to wear now. For me seeing my hair fall out was worse than giving myself a clipper cut. I have finished my chemo about 5 weeks ago and I'm on my second week of radiation. I am starting to see my hair come through, it looks like fine fluff at the moment. I wish you all the best! Joh xxx
Rita1963
Member
11 years ago
Like you the thought of losing my hair wasmost traumatic. And I was never a "hair person" never had treatments, never bought expensive shampoos, kept it short and easy to manage all of a sudden it was my prized possession. But truely it was because once I lost my hair it was evident to the world I had cancer and was having chemo. Acknowledgement of diagnosis by others before I had accepted it was my fear.

I took the advice and had a buzz cut prior to chemo. My son actually cut my hair with me crying thoughtout, but bless him he kept going with beautiful words of encouragement, and humour. And it was empowering not straight away but over the next few days, it allowed not only myself but the family to adjust to the new look. And when the hair fell out it was only fine bristles in the shower plug.

I now wear hats and scarves, I do own a wig but at the moment find it to uncomfortable as find it keeps the heat in and I feel I overheat easily, I tend to wear light caps. But as others find the fun in styling, and remember this fashion trend is only a brief one.

Rita
Rita1963
Member
11 years ago
Like you the thought of losing my hair wasmost traumatic. And I was never a "hair person" never had treatments, never bought expensive shampoos, kept it short and easy to manage all of a sudden it was my prized possession. But truely it was because once I lost my hair it was evident to the world I had cancer and was having chemo. Acknowledgement of diagnosis by others before I had accepted it was my fear.

I took the advice and had a buzz cut prior to chemo. My son actually cut my hair with me crying thoughtout, but bless him he kept going with beautiful words of encouragement, and humour. And it was empowering not straight away but over the next few days, it allowed not only myself but the family to adjust to the new look. And when the hair fell out it was only fine bristles in the shower plug.

I now wear hats and scarves, I do own a wig but at the moment find it to uncomfortable as find it keeps the heat in and I feel I overheat easily, I tend to wear light caps. But as others find the fun in styling, and remember this fashion trend is only a brief one.

Rita
rowdy
Member
11 years ago
Hi Meredyth I have just read your blog and your trip sounds a bit like mine.

Everytime I went back to see doctors things got worse. I have finished my chemo and yes the hair loss was terrilble, but the people who care about you will support you through the loss. I have been surprised with the amount of support I have received from work mates.

I have just got home from hospital and have had a mastectomy and reconstruction. Not easy but still smiling just taking it 1 day at a time.The funniest is looking down at my breasts now as I have 1 perky and 1 saggy.I need to wait for swelling to go down so I can have 2 perky boobs. Try and be kind to yourself its a tough trip keep smiling