A little hurdle

Morning ladies

It's been a rough week.  Started great with a chat to the plastic surgeon about my reconstruction and no worries about doing this after radiation. Then chemo, but anaemic so also followed up the next day with a blood transfusion.  I also had this pesky little lesion growing on my Left breast (mastectomy side) which appeared after my first chemo and initially was put down to a skin reaction, then some dodgy post op skin with poor blood supply but the sucker started to grow.  So Thursday brings a biopsy and still hopeful words from my surgeon.

Last night though, my surgeon is in my living room telling me the lesion is cancerous and seems to be the same type as that taken out.  Why it is growing while I am having chemo we do not know - it could mean chemo is not working and cancer has also spread elsewhere.  So today I am off to Peter Mac for  a PET scan to see if it is showing signs of being anywhere else.  

I am sitting here, not having slept more than about an hour all night, waiting for them to phone me with a time for the scan. 

There are too many ifs, buts and maybes dependent upon today's results (God I hope they can fit me in today - waiting the weekend would be torture) but at the very least it is more surgery and a likely change to my treatment.  Radiation is a definite now and there are all sorts of chemo options.  

I feel like I've been flattened by a truck - and the taxotere hasn't even hit me yet - that pleasure awaits me this weekend.  For the first time in this "journey" (a word I have been reluctant to use) I am really frightened but I am trying to stay focused on one step at a time and not let myself wander off too much into the what ifs.  

Please say a little prayer if you do or if you have any spare send a little positive energy my way today - every little bit helps.

Amanda xx