Forum Discussion
A little hurdle
Morning ladies
It's been a rough week. Started great with a chat to the plastic surgeon about my reconstruction and no worries about doing this after radiation. Then chemo, but anaemic so also followed up the next day with a blood transfusion. I also had this pesky little lesion growing on my Left breast (mastectomy side) which appeared after my first chemo and initially was put down to a skin reaction, then some dodgy post op skin with poor blood supply but the sucker started to grow. So Thursday brings a biopsy and still hopeful words from my surgeon.
Last night though, my surgeon is in my living room telling me the lesion is cancerous and seems to be the same type as that taken out. Why it is growing while I am having chemo we do not know - it could mean chemo is not working and cancer has also spread elsewhere. So today I am off to Peter Mac for a PET scan to see if it is showing signs of being anywhere else.
I am sitting here, not having slept more than about an hour all night, waiting for them to phone me with a time for the scan.
There are too many ifs, buts and maybes dependent upon today's results (God I hope they can fit me in today - waiting the weekend would be torture) but at the very least it is more surgery and a likely change to my treatment. Radiation is a definite now and there are all sorts of chemo options.
I feel like I've been flattened by a truck - and the taxotere hasn't even hit me yet - that pleasure awaits me this weekend. For the first time in this "journey" (a word I have been reluctant to use) I am really frightened but I am trying to stay focused on one step at a time and not let myself wander off too much into the what ifs.
Please say a little prayer if you do or if you have any spare send a little positive energy my way today - every little bit helps.
Amanda xx
38 Replies
Amanda nothing we say can express how we all feel for you and you family. ,
i dont know where you are based so cant visit if you need a biiiiiiig hug.
if you need time out don't forget the otis foundation have free holiday homes for BC people and families to use. in vic and sa. i have done one and it is great ,
we are all shedding tears with you and the strength we are all sneding . mmmm make that sending would help if i could spell. take care and we are all here for you all, Fran
Amanda nothing we say can express how we all feel for you and you family. ,
i dont know where you are based so cant visit if you need a biiiiiiig hug.
if you need time out don't forget the otis foundation have free holiday homes for BC people and families to use. in vic and sa. i have done one and it is great ,
we are all shedding tears with you and the strength we are all sneding . mmmm make that sending would help if i could spell. take care and we are all here for you all, Fran
Hi Amanda
Just caught up with the blogs and just want to say how unfair life is at times I am so shocked about your diagnosis and have sat here for a while trying to get my head around how things can change. You have been a great support to so many ladies here (me included), just wish I could give you a great big hug and have a cry with you. You are a strong lady and will fight this all the way with a whole army of pink ladies behind you.
Thinking of you and your family
Love Sarah x
Dear Amanda - I have only just read your blog and I am shocked. I don't know if words could express my feelings, suffice to say if I could I would give you a big hug right now, I am thinking of you and pray the news gets better, all my hugs and a whole lot of love to you and your family x x x Josie
I just jumped on here and read your post Amanda! It's just not fair! How I wish you had had a different outcome....
I really hope that they can find something to knock out those nasty cancer cells and get you back to being healthy again soon. It's going to be a fight but keep that positive attitude that we know you for and fight!
Take care,
Louise x
Hi Amanda,
I have been thinking about you since reading your blog on Sunday. What a dreadful shock for you all. I really don't know what to say to you, other than you are in my thoughts and prayers and I wish you well.
What treatment plan will your medical team put you now?
Chris xxx
GOD Amanda. i am lost for words. i wish i could be there to hug you and support you more. the tears flow freely for you and your family. are you anywhere near mansfield ???
i was bought up a good little catholic girl but over the years have had quite a few occasions to question what God does or why. my mum use to say Frannie every thing happens for a reason and we grow from this. .....BULLSHIT > sorry mum but what can we learn from this and what is the reason,
i feel your fear but also your strength. this is a poem i was given by a friend don't know who wrote it but it is so true. hope you like it.
the rainbow.
if i could catch a rainbow,i'd do it just for you
to share with you it's beauty, on days your feeling blue
if i could build a mountain,you could call your very own
a place to find serenity, a place to be alone
if i could take your troubles, i would toss them in the sea
but all these things i find ,are impossible to me
i can not build a mountain
or catch a rainbow fair
but let me be what i know best afriend who's always there.
_______________________
just for you girl. sending you love and strength.xxxx
Hi Amanda, Been thinking about you a lot. Let's send you hope. From the statement you made about your surgeon coming to your house - that means you definately have good professionals on your side. These people will do everything in their power to help you. Thought I would give you some hope by telling you this story. My friend has secondaries in her heart (in the peri cardium) It was diagnosed last November. She was very ill and had to have a drain put in her heart to relieve the fluid. She has had quite a lot of chemo treatment since then also and will continue to have regular chemo treatments. However, as we speak she and her husband are in England visiting relies and having a holiday. She is back paddling in the dragonboat, has seen her eldest son married in December and is looking forward to seeing a grandchild some time soon. My friend has just turned 63 so is not a spring chicken like yourself who has lots more to fight with. Her first diagnosis was at the same time as my first - 4.5 years ago. There is always hope and much good life to live. We are all with you Amanda and sending you strength to get you through this. XLeonie
HEY Amanda , hope your a little better today this is just all so much for one person to endure i feel so much for you. i am praying for you and got everything crossed that all will work out good. ,with you in spiorit and sending strength. take care.
HEY Amanda , hope your a little better today this is just all so much for one person to endure i feel so much for you. i am praying for you and got everything crossed that all will work out good. ,with you in spiorit and sending strength. take care.
