Reflecting

jenpen
jenpen Member Posts: 315 ✭
edited October 2014 in Health and wellbeing

I've spent the last few months reflecting on the past year....this week marks 12 months since my Mums funeral - followed 3 days later by my mastectomy; when I look back on this time it is more like a dream than my previous perfect life!

I have felt the need to be alone...which is hard when you have kids and no family close by to help out - but what I realise now is that my Mum, always so strong and courageous, has passed these on to me and I at last understand that this is what helped me cope and get on with it! (Mostly!)

Being at the 12 month mark I feel like I am ready to start living again....and I well know this could be the grief of losing Mum and my breast cancer "journey". I feel well, am getting used to my hair colour (had my first haircut last week!) and hot flushes have settled down! Still have to work hard on my mood but guess this one is up to me!

12 months today without my beautiful right boob and last night  my husband & I remembered it by toasting with a very small glass of wine!

 

Comments

  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
    When I checked the blog,and saw your pic,it made my day!!!!!! It is so nice to see you here again Jen.I have wondered many,many times ,about how you are doing.I figured that if you wanted to be here you would,so you obviously needed that time alone.Even though I lost my Mum when I was in my teens,I know for certain,that I have her strength,and right throughout my treatment,I have stayed strong,obviously like my mum! You had an extra tough time of it this past year Jen.Well done on getting to the point where you are now.I had my 3rd haircut yesterday,and I have my oncologist checkup on Tuesday.I like it that they keep an eye on us!! Take care Jen and please stay in touch xoxRobyn
  • Deanne
    Deanne Member Posts: 2,163 ✭
    edited March 2015
    It's good to hear your reflections on the past 12 months. I am sure that for you it has been just that much harder because of losing your Mum as well. I am glad you are feeling well and ready to start living again. I know what you mean about feeling like it was dream. I sometimes felt like I was almost watching myself going through everything because it all felt so disconnected from my previous life.

    It is just coming up to 12 months since finishing treatment for me and my mood is settling. I actually went through a period a couple of months ago of just needing to distance myself from anything cancer related and get involved in my family and life in general once more.

    You sound like you have made your peace with what has happened and that you find yourself moving forward towards the next stage of life with that lovely family of yours. Life can be so good again and so much more precious because of what we endure. That strength and courage that you and your Mum shared will help you step out into the world again. Keep in touch. :) Deanne xxx
  • TonyaM
    TonyaM Member Posts: 2,836 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Nice to "see"you again.You look great with all that hair! It was a tough 12 months for you and it's good to get to a stage where you can be still,look back and reflect.This week marked 5 months since my mum died and I am still grieving.It's been a hard process to sort through all her stuff and prepare her unit to be sold.I can't imagine having bc treatments as well- you are pretty amazing Jen.I think we need those solitude times to reflect so I hope you get to have them(as much as we love our family).Wishing you health and happy times for the next 12 mths. Tonya xx
  • jenpen
    jenpen Member Posts: 315 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Oh Robyn, Deanne & Tonya,

    I had tears in my eyes reading your beautiful, heartwarming messages!

    I feel so lucky to have found such gorgeous girlfriends through this amazing forum....and I think the attached poster is perfect for this thread!

    Robyn, thank goodness we had our gorgeous Mums & inherited their strength! Will be thinking of you on Tuesday.....had my oncolgist appt last Mon & all is well with my scans etc.

    Deanne, as always, your reassurance that my weird feelings are normal is great to read! Yes, I did feel I needed to forget about anything cancer too....but my onc appointment & seeing the chemo ward again brought me back to the moment!

    Tonya, love your wisdom & understanding.....you always know the right things to say! Obviously a legacy from your beautiful Mum too? Good luck with finalizing your Mums unit....that must be really hard to do!

    Anyway, its nice to come back on knowing we are sharing the same thoughts & understand the road we've already trodden & the one ahead!

    Cyber hugs gorgeous ladies....xxx

     

     

     

     

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