Telling Loved Ones the News No One Wants to Hear
Lelouak
Member Posts: 14
Finding out that you are sick is never fun. Being told you have cancer is probably, or actually definitely the one thing that no one wants to be told and for us as a family this is the second time in just over a year that we have dropped the cancer bombshell on our families.
In July 2013 my husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He had surgery and one cycle of chemo and all his check ups in the past year have been clear.
The experiences we went through last year, have obviously had an effect on how we are dealing with my diagnosis. My husband and I are both very practical people when it comes to decision making. We don't sugar coat things when we talk to each other about anything. This sometimes makes for difficult conversations, but at least they are honest conversations.
We have two beautiful daughters. One who will be 10 in a couple of weeks and the other is 5 1/2, (the 1/2 is very important to her!). Children are very perceptive, no matter how well you think you are hiding things. Honesty is definitely the best policy for us.
Our eldest is a worrier and although she tells us she doesn't want to know anything, she needs to know. She saw me with my envelopes of scans when I came back from appointments and came to ask me if I was sick. At the time I hadn't had my biopsy results. She asked if I had cancer like Daddy had. I said that it was very probable, but I was waiting for some test results.
I told her that I wouldn't lie to her and when I knew something I would tell her. When I got my results, I sat her down and told her that I did have cancer and that I was going to need an operation to take it out of me.
We told the little one that I was sick and needed an operation. She wanted to know everything! Where would they cut me, how long would I be in hospital, would it be a big cut! We haven't told her that I have cancer because she wouldn't understand what that means.
More conversations will need to be had with them when we know what further treatment I will have.
Telling my parents and in laws wasn't hard, probably because I didn't have to look them in the eye when I told them. They are all scattered around the globe. I know they feel helpless being so far away and it must be hard for them. I always maintain that it is much easier for the person experiencing something first hand than those around them.
Our close friends can't believe that we are having to deal with cancer again. Those that live near us have been so supportive in offering anything if we need it and helping out with the girls.
I am a fiercely independent person, but I am not too proud to admit that I need help.
We haven't made my diagnosis 100% public knowledge yet, mainly because we don't know if I will have chemo or not. Once we know, we will tell everyone.
I am 36 years old, if by being open and honest about my situation makes just one person I know check their boobs more often than they do then I have done some good.
In July 2013 my husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He had surgery and one cycle of chemo and all his check ups in the past year have been clear.
The experiences we went through last year, have obviously had an effect on how we are dealing with my diagnosis. My husband and I are both very practical people when it comes to decision making. We don't sugar coat things when we talk to each other about anything. This sometimes makes for difficult conversations, but at least they are honest conversations.
We have two beautiful daughters. One who will be 10 in a couple of weeks and the other is 5 1/2, (the 1/2 is very important to her!). Children are very perceptive, no matter how well you think you are hiding things. Honesty is definitely the best policy for us.
Our eldest is a worrier and although she tells us she doesn't want to know anything, she needs to know. She saw me with my envelopes of scans when I came back from appointments and came to ask me if I was sick. At the time I hadn't had my biopsy results. She asked if I had cancer like Daddy had. I said that it was very probable, but I was waiting for some test results.
I told her that I wouldn't lie to her and when I knew something I would tell her. When I got my results, I sat her down and told her that I did have cancer and that I was going to need an operation to take it out of me.
We told the little one that I was sick and needed an operation. She wanted to know everything! Where would they cut me, how long would I be in hospital, would it be a big cut! We haven't told her that I have cancer because she wouldn't understand what that means.
More conversations will need to be had with them when we know what further treatment I will have.
Telling my parents and in laws wasn't hard, probably because I didn't have to look them in the eye when I told them. They are all scattered around the globe. I know they feel helpless being so far away and it must be hard for them. I always maintain that it is much easier for the person experiencing something first hand than those around them.
Our close friends can't believe that we are having to deal with cancer again. Those that live near us have been so supportive in offering anything if we need it and helping out with the girls.
I am a fiercely independent person, but I am not too proud to admit that I need help.
We haven't made my diagnosis 100% public knowledge yet, mainly because we don't know if I will have chemo or not. Once we know, we will tell everyone.
I am 36 years old, if by being open and honest about my situation makes just one person I know check their boobs more often than they do then I have done some good.
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