Always in Fear
I sit here in tears, frightened…. Scared
My right breast has been on and off in pain for the past few weeks.
I only recently had an MRI and it came up clear… But it doesn’t stop my mind from assuming the worst 
This is the fear I have lived for so many years.
You feel like a ticking time bomb.
One little lump or pain sends your world into panic
You goto your doctor and they say you are fine but in your mind you never feel like it will be ok
I can’t wait to wake up from my operation and never have this fear again. It’s so overwhelming the thought of that feeling.
I know I will have a lot of tears in that hospital bed….
I just wish there was a cure. I hate that there isn’t. They have been researching for so long and nothing…..
I just want that letter saying I am booked in.. I am ready..
I was to say ‘fuck you cancer, your not going to kill me’
Bec xx