Irony and Meaning

cathyh

Hi Everyone, I'm 42 and was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer just 2 months ago. The irony is that I was planning for a 6 month sabbatical to travel and slow down my hectic life with my partner of 14 years. I guess I'm getting the 6 months off but now under very different circumstances. I'm determined to find some meaning in this and while the treatments sound horrific I'm hoping there will still be moments to experience some joy.

It's also been tough since we are transplants to Melbourne and having just been here for 7 months we are missing friends and family back in America.

Have just completed my lumpectomy and am now waiting on the pathology report that then tells me how long of a road I have ahead.

Any sage advice on finding meaning after cancer?

Cathy

Karen T

You aren't too far behind me on the new diagnosis front! I've had my lumpectomy and pathology results and now in the process of talking to fertility specialist about preservation before I start chemo in 8 days time.
I am also in Melbourne and happy to email, chat or catch up if you want someone to talk to. There is also a group in here called Melbournites which meet for lunch every so often.
I don't really have much advice just that I have found it easier to break it all down into stages so you don't get overwhelmed. It was too much to try think about all the possible scenarios so better to just save my energy for what is actually happening right now!
It's a pretty crazy experience and think you have it right looking for some meaning/learning from it.

The best quote I have stumbled upon:
You can't change your situation but you can control how you respond to it.

All the best for your results! Let me know if I can help any way. I moved here from New Zealand when I was 18 so I know what it is like to feel homesick and lonely at first.

You will get through this and be stronger for it.

Karen T

You aren't too far behind me on the new diagnosis front! I've had my lumpectomy and pathology results and now in the process of talking to fertility specialist about preservation before I start chemo in 8 days time.
I am also in Melbourne and happy to email, chat or catch up if you want someone to talk to. There is also a group in here called Melbournites which meet for lunch every so often.
I don't really have much advice just that I have found it easier to break it all down into stages so you don't get overwhelmed. It was too much to try think about all the possible scenarios so better to just save my energy for what is actually happening right now!
It's a pretty crazy experience and think you have it right looking for some meaning/learning from it.

The best quote I have stumbled upon:
You can't change your situation but you can control how you respond to it.

All the best for your results! Let me know if I can help any way. I moved here from New Zealand when I was 18 so I know what it is like to feel homesick and lonely at first.

You will get through this and be stronger for it.

BecJ

Its a scary time and I imagine your into the path now of treatment. Hope its going as well as it can.  I am 10 months in and definitely had ups and downs but it does get easier when you start treatments.  As Im nearing the end you start to deal with the emotions. 

Just break everything down in to managable sizes or put it on an imaginary shelf until you feel ready to deal with it.  Always ask doctors nurses questions if your unsure. Sickness, pain, eating, lack of concentration, exhaustion etc anything. Some times there are things they can do.  

Good luck and look for a group to catch up with if you havent already. Some times it makes a difference to meet people in the same situation. To hear there stories over a coffee etc.

Im in victoria and meet with bayside that do once a month lunches. But lots of groups are on face book too.  So if you need send out messages to lots until you find the right one. Some are not active so you wont get a message back. So try a few. x

cathyh

Thanks BecJ. All very sound advice. I start chemo in a weeks time and have decided to just break everything down a week at a time. I've found d a few good groups to join as well.

Take care
Cathy

BecJ

It's a big stage chemo. Some people breeze through it. If you don't try not to listen to much when people say how easy it is. The ones doing it tough tend to be quieter and just keeping their chin up. Do you know which drugs and cycle you will be having?
Ps please feel free not to go down the path of explaining thinking you do not want too.
I had FEC 4 times every 3 weeks. Some people feel sick and off for 3 to 4 days. I felt sick for 10-12 days so they changed my preventative medication schedule. Make up a bottle of salted water and have if next to your tooth brush gurgle/rinse whenever you can remember. Thrush can hurt and it takes away your already sluggish appetite. Ginger and lemongrass tea was good for me. Chicken and fine vegetable soup is what I asked for whenever people offered food. It freezes well in those cheap take away containers. A piece of toast and soup quickest healthy meal and gentle on mouths and stomach.
If people offer help it can be hard to say yes. Try just some basic thinks to say yes too. A spare UHT milk please. Yes a bottle of wine for when this is finished. Please do a load of dishes/ washing.
Also use disposable dishes if it becomes to hard. It's a one off life event. Be good to yourself!
The next chemo was taxatere 4 times every 3 weeks. Not as sick in someways. But the bone pain can be hard to deal with. Have a good supply of panadol and stronger ones. Take them regularly as the package/doctor tells you. It's hard to get back on top of the pain once it really kicks in day 3 if you haven't started pain killers. I was using endone and panadol.
Not trying to scare you, I hope it's just idea that may help.
You may fine your very anxious going into chemo then it is not as bad as you imagined. Great if you have someone to take you too. It's distracting and you can have a laugh at how scared you both may feel. It will release some tension.
If you find the I/v is hurting tell the nurses they can reposition. Also if your vein hurts they often have warm packs which lay over the arm, which help.
Ask for help, the nurses are great and try to make it as good as possible.
Take care.
Bec

BecJ

Dress in layers that you can remove with an I/v in. Hence jacket with your arm out thin tops and a scarf/shawl especially if you lose your hair. You won't regulate your heat as well. Beanies become your best friend.

BecJ

Dress in layers that you can remove with an I/v in. Hence jacket with your arm out thin tops and a scarf/shawl especially if you lose your hair. You won't regulate your heat as well. Beanies become your best friend.

cathyh

Great advice Katie and thanks for sharing your journey. I think you are right, sometimes you can only connect the dots after the fact so I'm focusing on dong big and small things I love everyday.

I wish you the best for your continued recovery.
Cathy