Down time
Hi all
Ok I seem to have worked this out now. I have options of writing in groups and also of writing my own blog that people may or may not want to respond to but if nothing else is a place just to write.
I am at work reflecting on the fact that it has only been 5 weeks since my diagnosis of a grade invasive ductal carcinoma. In that time I have 1 surgery to remove a tumor the size of a golf ball (am still amazed it got to be so big before I noticed it). Followed 2 weeks later by another surgery as breast tissue started to die and I had developed the ability to squirt fluid from it across a room (pretty gross) and picked up a lovely golden staph infection. So surgery #2 to cut away dying tissue, clean out the inside, stitch it back up and hold breath (luckily not figuratively).
Pathology reported it as a triple negative BC. Hmm I thought better go read up on that one. Great sometimes as they say ignorance is bliss but now I am well armed and knowledgable as I get sent off to see the oncologist.
Saw the oncologist last week who has strongly recommended undergoing chemotherapy due the nature of the tumor (TAC every 3 weeks for 6 rounds) before radiation. Then I read up on these 3rd generation chemotherapy drugs and shake my head - why am I voluntarily going from feeling pretty healthy to potenitally the sickest I am ever going to feel. Oh thats right increase my risks of survival - good plan then :-). i also love her reaction when I asked if I will be able to keep working - ""thats probably not a realistic concept"", hmmm I guess time will tell on that one.
Ok so after all that rambling its the week between easter and anzac and I am sitting at work with absolutey nothing cancer related on for the first time in almost 2 months. Hmmm I think I can be productive but of course the mind being what it is I start thinking about I wish they would give me a start date already so I can plan for it but no I have to wait until I attend my education session next week. Well thats good more time for feeling well and yet also more time just standing still and not getting to the end of this horrible journey. You've probably guessed patience is not my strong suite lol.
Its like everything has just come to a screaming halt. I've very good at the "what will be will be"and I would say I am a realist rather than an optimist or a pessimist but gee this week is sinking into molassas - slow and torturous and smells bad (ok maybe not bad smelling). My brains going hey just pretend nothing is going on life is as usual - stupid brain can't even lie to itself pfft.
Anyway thats my ramble for today. Budgets and staff area actually needing my attention. Til later.
Theresa
Comments
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What an amusing read!It is almost impossible to carry on as usual,when you are at the beginning of your journey.As time goes on,you definitely get into a routine of sorts,and BC takes it's place alongside other stuff.As for chemo,I like the "expect the worst but hope for the best" outlook.Some ladies do work,even if just on their good days.One thing that you can do to help you get through chemo,is take time out of every day to do some regular exercise such as walking.As you will get told at chemo education,exercise alleviates fatigue,and it is the single one thing that made chemo OK for me:) All the best for the coming weeks,and be sure to stay on here and let us know how you are going.Cheers Robyn.xox0
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Hi tess, I have found the waiting as most people do, the hardest part on this BC journey. Sorry to hear about your infection post surgery. I had my surgery nearly 5 weeks ago for DCIS grade 2. Oestrogen Postive, and HER2 negative. My oncologist is waiting for a report from the hematology doctors before he tells me what my treatment plan is. Hopefully next week. I seem to have a problem with my bloods all of a sudden. I also have lymphodema on my left breast since the surgery which complicates things too, so I am really fraustrated at the moment. So sometimes you feel like you get diagnosed for one thing and then other problems creep up. So annoying !!!
This site has been fantastic and the support from the other ladies has been incredible. Many have helped me through the last 5 weeks especially with their words of encouragement especially with the hiccups that I have been having lately regarding my treatment.
Wishing you all the very best with your treatment and look after yourself.
Ronnie xx
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Hi tess, I have found the waiting as most people do, the hardest part on this BC journey. Sorry to hear about your infection post surgery. I had my surgery nearly 5 weeks ago for DCIS grade 2. Oestrogen Postive, and HER2 negative. My oncologist is waiting for a report from the hematology doctors before he tells me what my treatment plan is. Hopefully next week. I seem to have a problem with my bloods all of a sudden. I also have lymphodema on my left breast since the surgery which complicates things too, so I am really fraustrated at the moment. So sometimes you feel like you get diagnosed for one thing and then other problems creep up. So annoying !!!
This site has been fantastic and the support from the other ladies has been incredible. Many have helped me through the last 5 weeks especially with their words of encouragement especially with the hiccups that I have been having lately regarding my treatment.
Wishing you all the very best with your treatment and look after yourself.
Ronnie xx
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Hi tess, I have found the waiting as most people do, the hardest part on this BC journey. Sorry to hear about your infection post surgery. I had my surgery nearly 5 weeks ago for DCIS grade 2. Oestrogen Postive, and HER2 negative. My oncologist is waiting for a report from the hematology doctors before he tells me what my treatment plan is. Hopefully next week. I seem to have a problem with my bloods all of a sudden. I also have lymphodema on my left breast since the surgery which complicates things too, so I am really fraustrated at the moment. So sometimes you feel like you get diagnosed for one thing and then other problems creep up. So annoying !!!
This site has been fantastic and the support from the other ladies has been incredible. Many have helped me through the last 5 weeks especially with their words of encouragement especially with the hiccups that I have been having lately regarding my treatment.
Wishing you all the very best with your treatment and look after yourself.
Ronnie xx
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Hi Tess,
I had a little giggle reading your blog...you certainly have a good way with words and it sounds as thou you are in a pretty good place to start your journey.
I, on the other handed, was pretty messed up and to be honest I am still struggling at times.
As far as working I think it depends on where you work and how the chemo effects you personally. Physically I haven't been too bad. I probably could have worked 2 out of each 3 week cycle for at least part of the day but mentally I was hopeless! I couldn't work even before the chemo started as I had myself dead and buried by this Christmas!
I do know of a couple of women who worked all the way through chemo except for a couple of days. One a nurse friend and another in an executive role. Also I have Facebook friends who also worked. Most of them said it helped them keep the focus off bc and some didn't have a choice financially. I consider all of them Wonder Women!
I think it will depend on your financial situation, your reaction to the chemo as everyone is different and maybe how flexible your employer can be. Plus how exposed to infections you maybe!
keep us posted on how you are going.
I'm hoping to pop down to Tassie at the end of chemo for my 30 year school reunion in June, maybe we can catch up for a coffee? What suburb do,you live in?
Mandy xxxx0 -
Hi Tess,
I had a little giggle reading your blog...you certainly have a good way with words and it sounds as thou you are in a pretty good place to start your journey.
I, on the other handed, was pretty messed up and to be honest I am still struggling at times.
As far as working I think it depends on where you work and how the chemo effects you personally. Physically I haven't been too bad. I probably could have worked 2 out of each 3 week cycle for at least part of the day but mentally I was hopeless! I couldn't work even before the chemo started as I had myself dead and buried by this Christmas!
I do know of a couple of women who worked all the way through chemo except for a couple of days. One a nurse friend and another in an executive role. Also I have Facebook friends who also worked. Most of them said it helped them keep the focus off bc and some didn't have a choice financially. I consider all of them Wonder Women!
I think it will depend on your financial situation, your reaction to the chemo as everyone is different and maybe how flexible your employer can be. Plus how exposed to infections you maybe!
keep us posted on how you are going.
I'm hoping to pop down to Tassie at the end of chemo for my 30 year school reunion in June, maybe we can catch up for a coffee? What suburb do,you live in?
Mandy xxxx0
