A helping hand

mgndam1603
mgndam1603 Member Posts: 753 ✭
edited October 2016 in Newly diagnosed

Yesterday after work I called into my local supermarket to collect a few things and had a mind full of what I needed and what I had to do next, as I walked around the corner of an aisle I came face to face with a lady that looked just like I did a year ago.

She had on a lovely blue headscarf and was that deathly colour of grey with no definition to her face, I smiled and walked on. As I passed her by I stopped myself and turned back to talk to her.

Never in my life before have I been so intrusive to a stranger, but I introduced myself and asked was she a breast cancer patient to which she replied yes. I explained that I was too and chatted with her for some time. It turns out she has the same surgeon and oncologist as me. Anyway I discovered that she is not a member of BCNA or any support group and has been doing it on her own.

So I provided details as to this forum, explained that we have a group in our area that meets regularily and gave her my email if she wants someone to be in touch with.

As I was readying to leave she grabbed my hand and thanked me profusely for stopping and talking with her, that she has had no-one that understood her situation.

I went home feeling a little teary as it bought back so many memories but I felt good to have helped this lady out even in a small way.

Its amazing the power of talk and touch on another human being.

 

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Comments

  • NaturalBel
    NaturalBel Member Posts: 542 ✭
    edited March 2015

    I wish people had have reached out to me to have made me feel better.  Mind you, I didnt go into a supermarket until I finished Chemo.  I didnt want the chance to catch the germs. (ok I know, a bit extreme.  Well I waited until the third week).

    I have a couple of ladies who come into work at Legana Amcal Pharmacy, and I now have the BCNA Donation Tin and pamphlets on our counter.  I am waiting for someone to notice it!

    I know that it is better to approach people out of work hours, in work hours, they will need to approach me.

    In this siutaion, I think you did a brilliant job.  You are wonderful.  Love from Bel

     

  • Liztay82
    Liztay82 Member Posts: 213 ✭
    edited March 2015
    What a lovely thing to do hope she joins the group
  • Liztay82
    Liztay82 Member Posts: 213 ✭
    edited March 2015
    What a lovely thing to do hope she joins the group
  • mum2jj
    mum2jj Member Posts: 4,315 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Often we spend so much time wondering if something is the right thing to do or not and by the time we decide the moment has passed. Sometimes acting on impulse is refreshing. What's the worst that could have happened. She could thank you, walk away and never contact you. It sounds like you really helped someone in the time of need. As my mother would say, that's how people looked after each other in the olden days!!!

    Well done you. Paula xx

  • mum2jj
    mum2jj Member Posts: 4,315 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Often we spend so much time wondering if something is the right thing to do or not and by the time we decide the moment has passed. Sometimes acting on impulse is refreshing. What's the worst that could have happened. She could thank you, walk away and never contact you. It sounds like you really helped someone in the time of need. As my mother would say, that's how people looked after each other in the olden days!!!

    Well done you. Paula xx

  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
    This is a lovely story ,and reinforces just how important that connection with another person who truly understands,is.I am one of those people who randomly talk to others,and I have often found that some people are so appreciative of a kind word.I hope that she joins this network also.Well done again!!:)xoxo Robyn
  • adean
    adean Member Posts: 1,036 ✭
    edited March 2015
    That touched me xxxx to you Donna , so good to give something back. Adean x
  • Mia1965
    Mia1965 Member Posts: 83 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Thanks Donna for sharing about talking to a stranger.

    When I was still the owner of my shop that I sold in February of this year, a young woman walked into my shop.

    I took one look at her wearing her colourful headscalf and her grey like skin colour and knew she was a cancer patient. As it turned out it was breast cancer she was being treated for. It reminded  me of how I looked when going through chemo and i said to her "You're not well darling are you?" Then as she looked at me squarely in the face I could see the raw emotion as she started to tell me her story. I then told her that I too had breast cancer in 2011 and that it was ok to talk about it if she wanted too.

    When we had both finished saying what we had to say about our cancer journeys she told me that when she was at the ANZ bank next door she had an uncontrollable urge to come into my shop. I owned a newsagency so it was obvious the jackpot may have had something to do with it, but she said "No it was the fact that something drew her to come in that she could not understand.?" When the woman left I was in tears, not only for her journey but for my own. Just then a man approached the counter and said "Look I hope you don't mind me overhearing what you two lovely ladies were chatting about, but my own sister is going through breast cancer too, and listening to your stories give me hope that my sister will get through it too"

    The power of conversation is spiritual and uplifting for many and I hope you continue your journey with strength as I have. xxx Mia

     

     

     

  • mgndam1603
    mgndam1603 Member Posts: 753 ✭
    edited March 2015

    you know I have been reading these comments and have come to the conculsion that we all do our bit, that cancer touches us and changes us along the way. Yes we may rail against it for a bit and some wonder why me, mine has been why was I spared and not others but ultimately the changes make us more considerate, more compassionate to others. So whilst I'll never say yippee I got cancer I will say that many of my changes have made a better me.

    Donna

  • Rita1963
    Rita1963 Member Posts: 48 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Hope as I travel this journey that I am about to start I too will meet amazing women who like you  will openly support me and just approach and provide support as I too am the first amongst my family or friends to have been diagnosed 

  • Rita1963
    Rita1963 Member Posts: 48 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Hope as I travel this journey that I am about to start I too will meet amazing women who like you  will openly support me and just approach and provide support as I too am the first amongst my family or friends to have been diagnosed 

  • adean
    adean Member Posts: 1,036 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Hey Rita I noticed you have joined our group sth east and bayside, Donna is one of our members and that lady she spoke to came to our last group lunch, maybe you can join us next time. We would love it. Regards adean
  • finita
    finita Member Posts: 83
    edited March 2015

    It was the 25th Of April 2013 that I had my Lumpectomy and 3 nodes operation. Looking back now , although nervous I just wanted to get it over and done with and I was actually happy , and happy again to have the 6 weeks of radiation done and out of the way, so that I could get on with my life . Yes my darling sister, Fear & Tears is so appropriate but you will be ok, just accept it as your new journey in life and embrace it .

    All the sister from this page have helped me soooooooooo much ...I love you all xxx

    Regards with love

    Finita xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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