Counting my blessings
Oddly, cancer has been a blessing to me in many ways.
1. as a workaholic, I was forced to STOP....stop work, stop running around, stop my life.
2. I had to leave home and go to Brisbane for my treatment and that meant making arrangements to look after my mother (I'm her carer). This meant that I established new relationships with my mother's friends so that I could get assistance for my daughter who was my main assistant. My mother's friends are now new friends to me.
3. My children were a little "unglued" from each other prior to my diagnosis but they are strongly glued together now and I am hopeful that my daughters and their sister-in-law will become best friends for each other.
4. My husband is in a job that pays enough that I can stop work for a while to recover and also meet the medical expenses.
5. My husband has been allowed me to stay with my mother while this time of her life is happening. It is a cultural thing for him.
6. When I had to go to Brisbane for radiation, a half-sister of my father (deceased) offered me accommodation underneath her house. This is remarkable in that my father didn't know about this lady until she was 16 years old and they NEVER lived together. Their relationship, if you added up all of the minutes that they have spent in each other's company, would only amount to weeks.
7. Brisbane has a great public transport system and I mastered the walk, bus, bus, train changes each way for each treatment.
8. My cousin in Brisbane went to great lengths to assist me whenever she could.
9. I go to mass most mornings and the small group of people in that service embraced me fully and included me in their prayers....often.
10. Two older women from the town (both in their 70s) who had been diagnosed with hormonal receptive breast cancer about 6 months prior to me, took an active interest in me and mentored me through some of the "unknown" of chemo and lymphodeama.
11. I discovered a computer game that prevented ants getting into my brain.
12. The various churches that I went to in Brisbane were wonderfully open and supportive.
13. I had a healing blessing from my priest on the day I went away to start my journey.
14. I was part of a healing mass in Brisbane at a church that has them only twice a year and I was fortunate to be there at the right time. (Ironically, I found out afterwards that my grandparents had been married in that church in about 1921).
15. My husband, although living on the other side of Australia, has been a tower of strength....my mountain (as against something smaller like a rock). Sometimes he doesn't know what is happening and sometimes he doesn't understand but he is unconditionally there for me.
16. I worked in a job where I was public property and everyone knew me. While a few friends turned out to be more like acquaintances, there has been one who came through like a shining light. May God bless her always as she is precious.
17. I have found projects that have kept me busy without being pressured.....all of my photo albums are now gone, as have my scrap books, my business archives, photos and plans from my archives, photo slides have been stored on my computer....and many other projects still to come to keep me busy while I recover and still enable me to do what I need to do with my mother.
18. I have helped the local priest with funerals for years. While I was away for treatment and not recovering, there was a period where there was only 1 funeral in 5 months and it apparently was a "small one".
19. I am now working in pastoral care visiting the nursing home and have my ID gear for the hospital as well.
20. I have never felt like I was alone on this whole journey even though I never had anyone with me. I was always a fan of "Footprints" but I experienced it physically, emotionally and spiritually throughout this journey.
21. As I came to understand TNBC I realized that so many of the people afflicted by this particular version of cancer are much younger than I am..........and so therefore I am grateful that I am NOT young.
22. I am blessed that I have had kids and now have grandkids. I have had a big fat life full of big lows and big highs.....I have rung every emotion dry.....
23. Most of all I have had time to sort out my life and work out what is important. It's not over yet....
24. I have made contact with many wonderful anonymous people on TNBC websites and I have come to appreciate the resilience of many people who are doing it way, way, way tougher than I am...........
I have.....I have.....I have.....
AND......there are so so so many other things to be thankful for. I am truly blessed.
Years ago, I made a decision to stop worrying about things....stop trying to sort things out....and let God take me on this journey wherever he leads me.
Getting cancer was one of the many moments when I looked up and said "really?" and then got on with living and having faith that He has a plan for me.
God bless all of you who take the time to read this...........
Comments
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I read it all and will gratefully take your blessing. I always find the silver lining in a terrible time. Good for you. XLeonie
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