Rest peacefully Mum..

jenpen
jenpen Member Posts: 315 ✭
edited September 2016 in Supporting someone with breast cancer

I was diagnosed with early breast cancer on Friday 27 Sept 2013. Shocking news and not what I had been expecting.

On Sunday 29 Sep (2 days later) my beautiful Mum passed away.......devastated and trying to come to terms with my BC diagnosis this is going to be difficult...just got to be stronger than I've ever had to be!

Love you Mum....I will get through this with you as my guardian angel however much I will miss you!

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Comments

  • FD
    FD Member Posts: 139
    edited March 2015

    Hi Jenpen so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Mum and your own devastating diagnosis. Wishing you all the love and strength to get through this tricky time. Love and prayers Lara xx

  • jenpen
    jenpen Member Posts: 315 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Thanks so much Lara...I have only just joined and you are my first contact on this website. 

    I hope all is going well with you...still trying to navigate my way around bit feel this site will give me the additional strength I need to get through.....thanks for caring...Jenny x

     

  • FD
    FD Member Posts: 139
    edited March 2015

    No worries, you have certainly come to the right place. I am one of the very lucky ones I only had DCIS (not invasive) and as a result needed to have a mastectomy as the area was large in comparison to breast size. I have a family history so opted for a bilateral with reconstruction. I was diagnosed in May 2012 and have completed all of my surgeries and have no regrets with my decisions. I was 40 when diagnosed with a hubby and two small children but was lucky enough to have my mum during the process. I can't imagine what you must be going through dealing with this crappy diagnosis and grieving the loss of and not having your mum with you.

    You will find this site to be your saviour so many times throughout your journey as you can ask what you want and vent whenever you want without fear of being judged and with the knowledge that so many women on here know exactly what you are going through. I gained so much valuable advice from here I don't know where to begin. The most valuable other than the support is the advice from women who have already walked the path and have taken the time to document what was helpful. Especially for hospital, what to expect and what to take.

    I wish you all the very best with your journey and visit the site as much as you need. During my treatment I was on here daily even several times a day. It really helps to talk to people who can relate and to read other ladies stories. Now a days I try to live in the moment and keep myself really busy so don't visit as often. Although tonight I received a message which  brought me to your post.

    You will find the strength you need, surprise yourself and make so many people proud throughout your journey. It seems impossible in the beginning but just take one day or step at a time, listen to your doctors without fear of questioning and most importantly listen to your body and rest when you need it. Now is the time for you to look after yourself you deserve it.

    Love and healing hugs

    Lara xx

  • FD
    FD Member Posts: 139
    edited March 2015

    Be sure to get your My Journey kit from this website it has a wealth of information and I found it invaluable. It is free and can be posted to you.

  • FD
    FD Member Posts: 139
    edited March 2015

    Be sure to get your My Journey kit from this website it has a wealth of information and I found it invaluable. It is free and can be posted to you.

  • Janey235
    Janey235 Member Posts: 1,206 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Welcome to this wonderful network. I joined in May this year, some time after my diagnosis last year in December. I was tentative about joining at first as I'd never done anything like blogging before. I am so so glad I did as the fantastic support and love I've received from perfect strangers has been phenomenal. I don't think I would have been as strong without it. My husband and family have been my rocks but unless a person has been through cancer, they can't really relate. I am so sorry that your mum has passed away. It's difficult enough heading down this journey let alone grieving for a loved one. Know that we are here for you Jenny. Lots of love to you.
    Janey xxx
  • jenpen
    jenpen Member Posts: 315 ✭
    edited March 2015

    What a warm and loving message...thanks so much!  You are testimony to having got through this tough journey with the support of others on this site and I'm sure it will be just as great for me.

    Cyber hugs to you - Jenny x

    p.s. I have ordered the kit as you suggested...thanks!

     

  • jenpen
    jenpen Member Posts: 315 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Hi Janey

    Thanks so much for your lovely message of support....and how wonderful to know that complete 'strangers' are here to help us all get through this tough ride! My beautiful Mums funeral is on Tuesday and my mastectomy op is Friday....it's certainly going to be a surreal week for my family members and I...however, we will get through!

    I hope all is going well with your health too....I am only just navigating my way around the site but am sure I will be an expert at using it before too long!

    Best wishes to you...and sending cyber hugs your way...Jenny x

  • jenpen
    jenpen Member Posts: 315 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Hi Christine & Angie

    Thanks so much for your lovely welcome! How lucky I decided to join...and glad you did too! The journey will be difficult for everyone but what a fantastic network to be a member of - all here to help each other out - just fab!

    Well I am missing my beautiful Mum and having to say our last goodbye next Tuesday at her funeral will be devastating! Then on Friday I am booked in to have my mastectomy......it's going to be a surreal week!

    Best of luck Angie with the radiotherapy treatment....you are well ahead of my journey but can well imagine how difficult it is with 2 babies (mine were born 15 months apart so know how tricky that can be with a healthy body!)

    Thanks for your support ladies....cyber hugs to you both - Jenny x

  • Janey235
    Janey235 Member Posts: 1,206 ✭
    edited March 2015
    It's going to be a tough week for you Jenny. I will be thinking of you.
    Hugs back to you
    Janey xxx
  • Chris
    Chris Member Posts: 813 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Hi Jenny,
    I am so sorry to read your story. To lose your mum and be diagnosed with breast cancer in the same week is just awful. I am so glad that you have found this site, and hope that we can all support you at this sad time. I am nearly 3 years post diagnosis, and like the ladies before, blogging wasn't something I had ever done before. For 6 months I would come on just to read the blog, and then one day I got brave and started to blog. I have found this site to be awesome. The support from the other ladies who have been through BC or are going through it has been amazing. You will find that there is always someone who will understand what you are feeling, or going through. It is a great place to ask questions, or just to rant and rave in a safe environment . I hope you have found the resource pages and ordered your My Journey kit. If you go to the tab at the top where it says New Diagnosis, you will find out how to order it. We welcome you and will be thinking if you this coming week as you say goodbye to your Mum, and then have surgery for BC. Good luck. Love Chris xx
  • Chris
    Chris Member Posts: 813 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Hi Jenny,
    I am so sorry to read your story. To lose your mum and be diagnosed with breast cancer in the same week is just awful. I am so glad that you have found this site, and hope that we can all support you at this sad time. I am nearly 3 years post diagnosis, and like the ladies before, blogging wasn't something I had ever done before. For 6 months I would come on just to read the blog, and then one day I got brave and started to blog. I have found this site to be awesome. The support from the other ladies who have been through BC or are going through it has been amazing. You will find that there is always someone who will understand what you are feeling, or going through. It is a great place to ask questions, or just to rant and rave in a safe environment . I hope you have found the resource pages and ordered your My Journey kit. If you go to the tab at the top where it says New Diagnosis, you will find out how to order it. We welcome you and will be thinking if you this coming week as you say goodbye to your Mum, and then have surgery for BC. Good luck. Love Chris xx
  • Mich x
    Mich x Member Posts: 1,530 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Hey Jen

    I am so sorry for your loss.  It is hard enough to have to say goodbye to a loved one let alone your mum and then to have to be dealing with your BC diagnosis.  Life just isn't fair sometimes.  I hope you have a lot of love and support around you during this tough time. 

    If there is anything you would like information on if you type in the search tab up the top on the right hand side then it will take you to all the previous posts that us pink ladies have written and you will be able to find so much information.  

    You will also find that your My Journey Kit will become attached to your hip and you will take it everywhere.  I still rely on mine even to this day.  I have recorded phone numbers that I thought I would never need again just in case and sure enough I needed them but also to put details of your appts etc. it is a godsend.  I hope you have someone who can attend appointments with you because often "us the patient" find it very hard to take it all in.  Take it day by day Jen or even hour by hour if you need to.  I still do that today to help me get through difficult times.  

    As all the other ladies have said you have come to a wonderful supportive and caring group of ladies who will support you in any way they can.  They will advise you and will lend an ear when you need one.

    I have been part of this site since not long after my diagnosis which is coming up to 2 years soon and for me they became my family and I am still here today receiving love and support and giving love and support where ever I can.

    I am so glad you have found us and please let us be there in any way we can because we care.

    Lots of love always, Mich xoxooxox

     

  • Melanie Durdle
    Melanie Durdle Member Posts: 23
    edited March 2015

    So sorry to hear of your loss. Hopefully you will have some good people in your life to support you. Prayers and well wishes for you Melanie 

  • magicmum
    magicmum Member Posts: 285 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Oh my dear, my deepest sympathy on the loss of your mum.

    I was diagnosed 18 months ago, and was lucky enough to have my mum for moral support until just before Christmas. She was 96, she had a brilliant life and she slipped away quietly and peacefully in her own bed.  Whilst I still haven't got used to the idea that she's not here, in many ways she still is.

    Search for her in your head, she's there - all those little things you shared and told each other, all still there. People tell me now I am like my mum - I like to think that's her coming through.

    This site is a true saviour, girls are just lovely and SO supportive. I wish you the very best in your treatment.

    Travel through the grief at the pace your own heart wants, eventually the sadness will be replaced with loving memories. I am not sure how long it takes, I haven;t got there yet.

    much love

    magicmum

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