Jenny,
we all feel for you. Losing your mum like that is hard but to have received your diagnosis too, well that is plainly UNFAIR!! Do take strength from the memories, you were obviously very lucky to have a good mum, I had a completely different experience, and that is also sad.
You will receive a lot of love and support from all of your pink sisters on this site, and no question or thought is too silly.
I have said before that counselling, even a little, may be of great assuistance as we all, being women, feel we can cope with anything thrown at us but our brains are only able to take so much at one time.
Take each day as it comes, that is really all that we do, even though others think we are SO BRAVE. Take special care, XX