Lucky stars
Earlier this year I noticed a lump in my left breast that was not going anywhere. It was hard and persistent but not very big. Having always had lumpy breasts I proceeded to ignore it for quite sometime. Then eventually I could hear the voice of my best friend in my head telling me to get it checked out. My best friend Lisa had passed away the year before from Breast cancer so her voice was like a wake up call.
Living in a small country town and busy working as a teacher it was easy to ignore for a while, at work we had the breast screen poster on our fridge and when the mobile unit came to town I knew it was time to take action and get my small lump checked out.
In the van the nurse in charge was pretty certain it was nothing to worry about and nothing was visible on the mammogram. Lisa's voice was insistent though that I persue it all further, so I ticked the box that said I was concerned about my lump. This lead to another appointment with the Breast screen clinic in Ipswich. A breast care nurse examined me and could feel my lump but she also was sure it was nothing to worry about but just in case I had to come back for an ultrasound and to meet with a doctor.
I remember that day so clearly I was the youngest person there (46) and quite confident I was wasting everyone's time. The doctor exmained me and he could feel the lump and ordered an ultrasound the ultrasound showed nothing however he ordered a biopsy with my guidance.
I remember going home that afternoon thinking it would be great to get the call that all was fine. I went in for my results the day after the easter break and I knew something was up when I said my name at the front desk and the lady mentioned that I was the one the doctor wanted to see. I walked to the waiting room leaving my husband in the waiting room. The doctor in charge asked if I had brought anyone with me and I replied yes my husband and before saying anything else she asked me to go and get him. I knew then that my hopes for normality were gone.
My initial diagnosis was ductal carcinoma in situ. She explained that at this stage the cancer had not spread and was however high grade so it had the potential to spread. I was given a kit of information, measured for a bra and chatted again to my breast care nurse. We left there stunned, I have three daughters so naturally I was worried for their future. I felt lucky though that we caught it early and was sure it would all be fine.
The next step was to meet with my surgeon and we planned our attack. Due to the elusive nature of my lump i.e the fact that it was invisible on the mammogram and the ultrasound I had to have an MRI . The MRI was like being connected to some barbaric milking machine the radiologist in charge was wonderful and she actually showed me my results on the big screen as they came in. She told me that red indicated invasive cancer cells , my left breast featured first and the insitu cancer was evident but no red dots so that was a good thing. Next came the results of the right breast and unbelievably red dots appeared. I was shattered, to now have cancer in both breasts was more than my mind could comprehend at the time.
My surgeon went from discussing a possible lumpectomy to a radical bilateral masectomy. Really I had no choice I knew I could not live with cancer in my body and I owed to my family and friends to be as proactive as possible. So very quickly a bilateral masectomy was scheduled with the removal of lymph nodes.
Prior to my surgery I made a boob cast of my boobs with my wonderful husband's help and I have started to decorate this. I called it an Ode to my boobs. My surgery went as planned although a little longer due to an excessive bleed, requiring three blood transfusions. Other than that all was fine.
At my review I was given the news that two of my lymph nodes tested positive , all the margins were clear and my cancer was HRE positive. All in all not too bad.
It was decided that I would have chemo and possibly radiation.
Today it is three months since my surgery, I am half way through my chemo. My hair is just about completely gone, my scars are fading and I am looking to the future when chemo is a distant memory. I have to have radiation at the end of my chemo and then hopefully all will be clear. It has been the most surreal event of my life, I count my friends and family as my blessings each and every day. I thank my lucky stars that Lisa's voice was in my head urging me on and making sure that I didn't ignore the change in my body and I urge anyone who notices a change in their body to persist in getting it checked out.