My first blog

traxx65traxx65 Member Posts: 252
edited September 2016 in Community news and events

Just been having a quick cruise through the site and figuring out how to make it all work.  Amazing to see that there really are other people going through the same stuff as I am.  I have found that a lot of friends and family have decided to drift away, I feel like they have written me off already. I have been nearly 5 years like this.  My diagnosis anniversary is National Breast Day Woo Hoo.  Instead of everyone running away I would love them to take a really good look at me and see that I am still alive, I am still working, I am still doing Karate and I am still looking after my family, and then think to themselves,"wow, look at her, you can live with cancer.  The rest of the world doesn't stop just because we get breast cancer or any type of cancer.  Kids still need to go to school, groceries need to be bought and bills need to be paid.  You still have to function as normally as possible, this is just another added extra to our daily life.

 

I haven't had chemo, but just the thought of it scares me.  I admire everyone who goes through it and I can only hope that I will be that strong, if and when my time for chemo arrives.

 

I've had my mastectomy, and just managed to convince a plastic surgeon to operate on me and put a tissue expander in and reduce the other side.  When you are a size E/F in the bra department, having only one that size can be a bit of a nightmare and literally a pain in the neck.  It is such a relief.  The first plastics guy I saw made me feel guilty about wanting to sort my body out and I ended up feeling like he thought I wasn't worth the effort because I was advanced.  Thank goodness I found someone else, who actually listened to me and made me feel like I wasn't being an idiot.

This disease takes so much away from you and we shouldn't be made to feel guilty for wanting some hint of normaility.

 

That might do it for now.  Thank you for listening.

Good luck to all in their journey

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Comments

  • TanyaTanya Member Posts: 395
    edited March 2015

    Hi Trax

    Thanks for sharing your story.  I met  some wonderful woman with secondaries on the weekend at the Young womens conference.  They all just want to be treated the same and like you said live the best life that you can live. 

     

    I got to admit when a close friend of mine was diagnosed with secondaries I was scared to call in case I didn't know what to say, but one thing for me, was certain, that I would just come out and say that I really didn't know what to say, but there was no way that I was gonna say nothing.   I think people struggle for the right things to say, so they say nothing, or worse stay away.  My friend appreciated my honesty and we talked for hours, not about cancerm but just everyday stuff.

     

    Great that you have been stable for so long and great that you still have not had to have chemo.  It has come a long way.

     

    I look forward to talking some more.  School holidays start here in QLD tomorrow, so I am looking forward to no school runs and lunches for a couple of weeks and hopefully even a sleep in  (that might be pushing my luck a little)!!.

     

    Tanya

  • TanyaTanya Member Posts: 395
    edited March 2015

    Hi Trax

    Thanks for sharing your story.  I met  some wonderful woman with secondaries on the weekend at the Young womens conference.  They all just want to be treated the same and like you said live the best life that you can live. 

     

    I got to admit when a close friend of mine was diagnosed with secondaries I was scared to call in case I didn't know what to say, but one thing for me, was certain, that I would just come out and say that I really didn't know what to say, but there was no way that I was gonna say nothing.   I think people struggle for the right things to say, so they say nothing, or worse stay away.  My friend appreciated my honesty and we talked for hours, not about cancerm but just everyday stuff.

     

    Great that you have been stable for so long and great that you still have not had to have chemo.  It has come a long way.

     

    I look forward to talking some more.  School holidays start here in QLD tomorrow, so I am looking forward to no school runs and lunches for a couple of weeks and hopefully even a sleep in  (that might be pushing my luck a little)!!.

     

    Tanya

  • traxx65traxx65 Member Posts: 252
    edited March 2015

    Hi Tanya,

     

    Thanks for the message.  We start  school holidays here tomorrow too.  It is great to be able to switch off the alarm, that is all I ask for.

    I am currently on Femara, Bondronat and Zoladex.  My husband insists on coming with me to all my appointments which is great, but sometimes I feel like I want to do the odd one on my own.  Sometimes there are things I don't ask because he is there and I don't want him to know just how I am feeling at that stage.

    My daughters are 18, 16 and 14. At the moment I am teaching two of them to drive, hubby won't get in the car with them.  Ha ha ha

    I want to wish you all the best  with your treatments.

    Best wishes to you and your family.

    Tracey

  • Di_BCNADi_BCNA I work at the BCNA office in CamberwellMember Posts: 976
    edited March 2015

    Hi Traxx and welcome to the network!  Thanks for telling your story, the network is a great place for sharing, so I'm glad to hear you're looking forward to talking some more. Just shout if you need a hand finding your way around. :)

  • Di_BCNADi_BCNA I work at the BCNA office in CamberwellMember Posts: 976
    edited March 2015

    Hi Traxx and welcome to the network!  Thanks for telling your story, the network is a great place for sharing, so I'm glad to hear you're looking forward to talking some more. Just shout if you need a hand finding your way around. :)

  • traxx65traxx65 Member Posts: 252
    edited March 2015

    Thanks for the welcome Di.  After reading a few of the blogs, I am surprised to see just how many people there are like me out there.  We all assume there is no-one else like us and our situations are all unique to ourselves, which they are in a way, but the similarities far outweigh the differences.  Congratulations on creating such a wonderful site.  I can see it will be of great use to so many people for support, reassurance and newfound friends.

    Thanks you for a job well done.

    Tracey

  • TanyaTanya Member Posts: 395
    edited March 2015

    Tracey

    Great that your hubby wants to attend all the appointments with you, bless his heart!!

    We live in a little country town with very little shops, so I have to travel for my appointments and I always try to convince my husband that I will be fine on my own too, but mainly so as I can hit the shops afterwards....he he.  Sometimes I just want to browse and enjoy the time out by myself.

     

    You must really have your hands full with 3 daughters of that age!!!  My youngest is 5 going on 15, so I was thinking of her times 3...urgh!!  My son is far simplier and just does his own thing.

     

    Lovely to chat again, glad that you are finding some benefit of this site.

     

    Tanya

  • TanyaTanya Member Posts: 395
    edited March 2015

    Tracey

    Great that your hubby wants to attend all the appointments with you, bless his heart!!

    We live in a little country town with very little shops, so I have to travel for my appointments and I always try to convince my husband that I will be fine on my own too, but mainly so as I can hit the shops afterwards....he he.  Sometimes I just want to browse and enjoy the time out by myself.

     

    You must really have your hands full with 3 daughters of that age!!!  My youngest is 5 going on 15, so I was thinking of her times 3...urgh!!  My son is far simplier and just does his own thing.

     

    Lovely to chat again, glad that you are finding some benefit of this site.

     

    Tanya

  • TanyaTanya Member Posts: 395
    edited March 2015

    Tracey

    Great that your hubby wants to attend all the appointments with you, bless his heart!!

    We live in a little country town with very little shops, so I have to travel for my appointments and I always try to convince my husband that I will be fine on my own too, but mainly so as I can hit the shops afterwards....he he.  Sometimes I just want to browse and enjoy the time out by myself.

     

    You must really have your hands full with 3 daughters of that age!!!  My youngest is 5 going on 15, so I was thinking of her times 3...urgh!!  My son is far simplier and just does his own thing.

     

    Lovely to chat again, glad that you are finding some benefit of this site.

     

    Tanya

  • traxx65traxx65 Member Posts: 252
    edited March 2015

    Hi Tanya

    I work at a kinder as an assistant two days a week, so I know all about the 4/5 years old going on 14/15.  They are so funny and I always tell the Mums, enjoy them while they are this age because somewhere down the track they will do your head in. 

    My girls all have their quirks and bad days and bad moods, but they really are great, I love them with all of my heart and I am grateful that I am still here with them.  Each year I take a big breath and have a sigh of relief that I've made it through another year relatively unscathed.

    Before I had children I thought I was immortal, then I had kids and realised I didn't want anything to happen to me because I had to be there fore them.  Now each day/week/month/year is a bonus.  You learn to appreciate life a little bit more after a diagnosis regardless of the type or stage.

     

    Take care and have fun with your littlies.

    Tracey

  • ShirlOShirlO Member Posts: 395
    edited March 2015

    Hi Tracey, good heavens, that almost sounds sinister doesn't it but we are not "that" kind of family.

    So pleased you decided to join in and share your story and chat with us.  It's a great chance to for us all to compare notes and support each other.  I guess while friends and family give their total support they don't fully understand exactly where we are during these times of our lives ... sometimes we can't understand it fully ourselves.

    There are so many different situations and no two are the same so it's great that we can be there for each other.  I had an instance where someone told me "I know just how you must be feeling" ... she didn't really because she hadn't "been there -done that" but she meant to be kind and she was a caring person.

    Anyway, enjoy the site, browse through the various blogs and feel free to jump in and have a chat.

    Cheers .... Shirl xx

  • ShirlOShirlO Member Posts: 395
    edited March 2015

    Hi agn Tracey, did a bit of a search and found a Perth Group

    Breast Cancer Foundation of WA  1304 Wellington St West Perth

    www.breastcancer.org.au

    Donna Rendell .... 08 93243703

    [email protected]

    This might be something you'd like to check out  ... I know we are a wonderful lot LoL !!! but we can't offer you a cuppa while we chat (Di is working on this as we speak!!!)

    You take care and pop in any time

    Cheers .... Shirl

     

     

  • traxx65traxx65 Member Posts: 252
    edited March 2015

    Thank you for the Welcome Shirl.  The site is such a friendly place and not at all intimidating.  So glad I decided to join and chat to the lovely people on here.  It's really a great place and I intend to visit as often as I want too.

    Thank you again.

    Tracey

  • Shaz66Shaz66 Member Posts: 21
    edited March 2015

    Wow, I am gobsmacked reading all these bits and pieces.  I thought my friends of 15 years, my godmother (mum passed away when I was 19), my brothers & relies (whom all accepted my help when needed), my closest cousin not to say my closest childhood friend were the only horrid people in the world.  Wrong, aren't I!!!!!!  Sorry, being a bit sadistic there but it is true!!!!!!  Why is it so????  The one advantage to losing these people from my life is that I have a fairly new group of friends who I now call my 'family' that love me and my family and whom we just adore and are always there for me even before I think they shouldve even realised that I needed their help-amazing they are!!!!!! And they range from the age of 2 to 55yrs!  Oh, I have one family of friends from years ago that have hung on but that's about it.

    I understand that this horrid gremlin may scare people, but get over it, take a close look at us, we aren't contagious, we are doing well, we just want life to be normal!!!!!!  I knew of a girl whom I had only had contact with thru my kids school that got BC before me, yes, I did stuff up with what I said the first time but we became great friends, all my treatment, ops etc were 6 mths behind hers, even my diagnosis.  Sadly she passed away a few years ago, happily I went to see her the day before she did.  She said to me 'it's bloody good to see you'.  You have no idea what it meant to her and me to make that little effort to go and see her.  I always think I should keep making the effort with these 'other' people but I have just decided to luv and appreciate my dear friends now and not waste any more time.

    Oh......I did forget to mention that I have the bestest dad alive!!!!  I don't burden him with much but he's always there for a chat, a ride to treatment or a great time.  And........as I am adopted I have recently found a new brother and sister, they accept it without a problem.  So I lost..........but boy I think I gained more and we have to look at all the good stuff don't we????

    Sad........but great reading, got a lot out of that!!!!

  • Shaz66Shaz66 Member Posts: 21
    edited March 2015

    Whoa!!!!!  I just reread that sermon............boy, I've been wanting to get that out.  Feel great now!!!!!! :-)

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