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nixbix's avatar
nixbix
Member
14 years ago

a little hope

I've never posted before but l've taken the time to tonight as I often visit this site for info on certain things I've experienced during my journey. My lack of concentration was non existent while I was having treatment which was mainly why! I want to offer a little hope to others that are currently going through this tough journey. I was diagnosed on 18.9.10 at the age of 39, married with 2 young boys. I had 8 rounds of chemo, a lumpectomy & all lymph nodes removed & radiotherapy for six weeks. Just before xmas l had my ovaries removed as the bc was hormone positive. It's exactly one year since I finished treatment. As I was going through it all l was thinking that l was never going to be able to do the things that I once loved to do, like gardening, even just the daily routine seemed unachievable. I was bedridden for days at a time after each chemo and my muscles turned to mush. Couldn't walk to the toilet. I'm still feeling the effects of chemo on my joints and muscles l'm sure, although my onc can't say it's from chemo for sure as l'm now taking Femara. But one year on and I am slowly picking up the pieces! I've joined a gym and it has been a major help in my recovery. I don't push myself and only do what l'm comfortable with. Just walking has made a huge difference to my joints. I'm able to do what I love around the garden and the daily routine has become easier. Going back to work after a year off has been the best decision as well. (I was very fortunate to have an amazing boss who kept my job avail. for me). It has kept my mind busy instead of wandering to the deepest darkest places it use to! To hell and back would be an understatement! I was extremely lucky to have help when l needed it and for anyone out there that doesn't have that luxury, and who can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, IT'S THERE! It's bright, and it's shining! It may look a little dim through all the fog but when the fog clears it's brighter than it was before. Although l've come out the other end with few physical scars the emotional scars are there for life, tucked away where no one sees them every time they say "you look great", and I just want to thump them! We've all been to the same place emotionally and that will take the longest time to heal, probably forever, but it does get better. The thing that does actually bother me the most and holds me back from moving forward easier is the reminder that it all exists every three months when l go for my routine scans. Otherwise, life's good! Hope I've helped someone tonight! :)

6 Replies

  • Al's avatar
    Al
    Member
    13 years ago

    Hi Nixbix,

    I've been meaning to message you for ages. Your story sounds similiar to mine. I was diagnosed in May 2011, had a lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy ( clear!!), grade 3, HER2+, HR +. I had 6months of chemo - 3 months AC ( 4 rounds), 3 months Taxl/herceptin. Followed by  7 weeks radio. I'm still having 3 weekly herceptin until Oct and am also on Tamoxifen. The things we go through. Throughout all this I remained positive, had a fantastic husband, 2 wonderful daughters - 12 and 15. I also worked right through my treatment which I believe got me through the dark times. The support, love and encouragement of my work colleagues has been fantastic. Still working full time.

     I was given the all clear by my surgeon in May and with my follow-up radio appointment. Another to cross off the list. I've found that I'm so much stronger than I was before. Things don't get to me as much and my coping mechanism are much better.

    Take care and stay positive. You feel so much better for it. Live each day as it comes. I love your positive attitude!!!

    Alison (Perth) xxxxx

     

  • Joey_36's avatar
    Joey_36
    Member
    13 years ago
    How nice to read a positive story, I am 38 with three young children 7,4 and 2 and am still going through Chemo. I was thrilled to see that you are a year out and living your life. We really do need to read positive stories sometimes to keep us going. Thankyou, Thankyou Thankyou xxxx
  • LeeS's avatar
    LeeS
    Member
    13 years ago
    Nice to hear you're all happily getting on in life beyond Breast Cancer. I was another young one who struggled with the chemo and wanting to maintain normality for my littlies. There were times I couldn't see the end of the tunnel, that's for sure. But I did make it through and I've made lots of great friends through the journey. Now that I enter the world of brca1 I think I'm able to cope better with the decision making...after all...I now KNOW, through experience, that I NEVER EVER want to go through breast cancer EVER again! I'm ready to conquer it once and for all!!!!!!!:-)
  • nixbix's avatar
    nixbix
    Member
    14 years ago
    Hi BirdGirl, wishing you a happy end to your treatments! Yes it is definitely a new 'normal'! Today I actually received good news on my 3 monthly scans which have again come back clear so it has become easier as time goes by. I'm not as anxious prior to them. I'm also on Femara for 5 years which fortunately hasn't given me any unpleasant side effects apart from the stiff joints which I'm working at trying to get some relief! Going to try Vit D & calcium next as fish oil & krill oil hasn't helped! But make sure you get your Dr to prescribe it for you as large amounts of Vit D can be bad for you. Hope you don't need to go down this path anyway! I started walking a lot too which helped but really needed to get myself physically stronger so l joined the gym & haven't looked back! Good luck & wishing you well! N
  • nixbix's avatar
    nixbix
    Member
    14 years ago
    Hi BirdGirl, wishing you a happy end to your treatments! Yes it is definitely a new 'normal'! Today I actually received good news on my 3 monthly scans which have again come back clear so it has become easier as time goes by. I'm not as anxious prior to them. I'm also on Femara for 5 years which fortunately hasn't given me any unpleasant side effects apart from the stiff joints which I'm working at trying to get some relief! Going to try Vit D & calcium next as fish oil & krill oil hasn't helped! But make sure you get your Dr to prescribe it for you as large amounts of Vit D can be bad for you. Hope you don't need to go down this path anyway! I started walking a lot too which helped but really needed to get myself physically stronger so l joined the gym & haven't looked back! Good luck & wishing you well! N
  • Tanya's avatar
    Tanya
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Nixbix

    Great to hear you sounding so much better now after all that you have been through.

    Like you, I was diagnosed when my 2 children were young and for me that was probably the hardest part, having to put my 2 year old into daycare just to cope with chemo.

    But that was nearly 5 years ago and life is back better than ever and I am doing things that I never would have dreamt of doing prior to chemo. I figure, hey if I can get through chemo I can do anything and I am....

    Great to see you posting and thankyou for sharing your story.

     

    xx Tan