Breast Cancer and Women who have not had children

laurab

I am new here and just been diagnosed with stage 2 cancer. Been going through all the usual: How could this happen to ME  with my lifestyle etc." Futile. Then a friend reminded me of the statistics of women who have not had children and how we are at higher risk. Feels like a punishment really. I didn't have children because my husband couldn't and I moved on and embraced a non biological child-free life with hundreds of children and young people in it anyway. And here I am with breast cancer. Wondering how many other women here can relate?

iserbrown

Sorry to see you are here - it's never easy, regardless of why - it is what it is!

Katie46

Hi @laurabernay, I found the early days of diagnoses are the worst, you are tempted to question everything. People can be insensitive sometimes.

When I was first diagnosed the nurse told me there was absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent this happening. Early detection and treatment is what they are aiming for. It was good advice. 

I never had children, and was diagnosed in 2023 stage 2 grade 3 hormone positive. Other than hormones being involved, they don't really know what triggers breast cancer (I asked my oncologist) it could be any number of things, so I don't worry about it.

There are plenty of women out there who never had children and never had breast cancer, and there are plenty of women who have children who have breast cancer. 

There is lots to good advice, information and podcasts on the BCNA website, and this forum, don't be tempted by Dr Google.

Best wishes for your ongoing journey.

arpie

Hi @laurabernay - so sorry to see you joining our select little group - feel free to fill us in on your diagnosis - has the BC type been identified by biopsy yet?  .....  How are you going?  It can be a bit of a shock to get the diagnosis - it can muck with your brain a bit - it can make you upset, angry - a whole range of emotions.   Listening to the Charlotte Tottman podcasts on 'what you don't know about breast cancer til you do' ..... she is a professional BC Counsellor who was diagnosed with BC in about 2017 and has had a double mastectomy (no reconstruction).  She takes you thru her own BC 'journey' - she was surprised that her own response to the news etc was not what she'd thought it would be, given her previous discussions with her clients.  So she really 'gets it'. You can listen to them here:
http://www.drcharlottetottman.com.au/my-podcast.html

I am like you - childless/never been pregnant and I got BC at age 65.  I went to a Nun run primary school and BC was fairly common amongst the Sisters, and I'd always believed there was a higher incidence amongst nuns.  We used to call it the Nun's Disease. You can read up a bit on it here:
https://www.tepasbreastcenter.com/2019/09/18/florida-today-why-breast-cancer-was-called-nuns-disease/

They seem to say that not having children increases the chances of BC, Ovarian & uterine ..... 
"The reason this is so is because lifelong nuns are not reproductive and it makes them have an increased risk of breast cancer, and other cancers like ovarian and uterine cancers. Having children and breastfeeding decreases the chances of breast cancer."

We do actually have a private group for members without children, but it isn't particularly 'active' - but you may be interested in previous threads posted there.
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/19-breast-cancer-childlessness-and-us

Feel free to check out this thread ... lots of info there about the forum 'in general' and some handy links:
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-new-online-network-members#latest

Take care & all the best 

laurab

Thanks all for your responses. I don't like the name "Nun's Disease" I hope it fades into oblivion. It's so insulting. But I can understand how it started out. well I suppose that women who have had children and who have breast cancer can say exactly the same in reverse can't they? They can say: "I did all the right things, I had children, women who don't have a higher risk so why me when I have had 3 or 5 or 12?" The more I think about it the more ridiculous it is to go down that rabbit hole. Cancer is cells reproducing and dividing fullstop.

arpie

@laurab - I think 100+ years ago - it allowed 'them' to do an indepth (if not perfect) study on women who hadn't had children (or supposed to not have!)   I don't think there is much credence on its relevance to Nuns these days - or indeed to women who've never been pregnant or not had children.  It was in the early 60s that I was at the primary school - and I was aware of Nuns getting ill and not always returning to the school .... and that was often the whispered reason.

Yep - there are, I bet, WAY MORE women who 'have' had children who've gone on to develop BC and I often wondered if it was BECAUSE they'd had children!!..... And who knows how many women may have undiagnosed BC, when they actually pass of something else?  (Much the same as they reckon so many men die 'with' Prostate cancer, not 'from it' - and unaware they 'had' it.)

'They' really don't know why many of us get breast cancer, unless there is a genetic link (Brca 1 or 2 gene mutation) or a family history of it ....   

'They' keep saying that keeping fit, not smoking, not drinking alcohol will reduce your likelihood of developing BC (or any cancers) ... but that isn't always the way it goes either ...  

I am the first in my immediate & past family (numerous generations) to get BC - or ANY cancer!  My family always had heart attacks - so it was a real shock to me!  In a funny way, I'd always been a bit 'smug' with that family history - concentrating on heart related 'preventions'!  I honestly didn't think I'd end up with any sort of cancer!

As @iserbrown says - it is what it is .... and we just have to deal with it, under the guidance & knowledge of our medical team and the help & support of family & friends.

take care

Afraser

It really helps not to think of breast cancer as a punishment! For what? Not having children? Only having one child? Not breast feeding? Keeping fit? Not keeping fit? Not choosing your BC prone family more carefully? I remember a UK study about ten years ago which said that while some cancers have underlying reasons or triggers (genetic disposition, smoking) roughly half were bad luck. Cells multiplying - just the wrong way. I had no family history of cancer and breast fed for a year (OK, I’d have cheerfully done less, child had different ideas!). 

Having cancer and treatment for it is demanding enough without thinking we have somehow brought it on ourselves. Even the obvious links are not givens - my grandfather smoked a pipe incessantly from his teens on. Think mouth, throat, lungs. Died of heart failure at 94, lived in robust good health his entire life. I’m not suggesting smoking is good for you, just that few things are absolute. There’s nothing fair or unfair about getting cancer, for anyone. So
best to treat yourself kindly, take good and sound advice, and look to recovery and the future. As they say, don’t look back, you are not going that way. Best wishes. 

lrb_03

I think most of us go down rabbit holes about the reasons we may have ended up with breast cancer. Yes, there are things that put at higher or lower risk, some of which we could have changed m, some not. The reality is that for some reason, at a moment in time, an abnormal cell gets through our natural defences and multiplies to form a tumour. The vast majority also don't have a family history. 
It's hard at this point to accept what is. Talk to your team and get answers to medical questions from them. If you have access to a breast care nurse, utilise their knowledge and support. 

Yes I had many factors that increased my risk, also childless but it hadn't crossed my radar. Still here, cancer free nearly 10 years on from diagnosis

laurab

Hi all who kindly responded. Is there a way to respond to each individually? 

lrb_03

@laurab usually works, as in @ in front of their "name"

arpie

@laurab - there is a private messaging system  ... click on the envelope next to the icon (top right line) then click on the 'paper & pen'.  Just typing person's name in the 'recipients' line .... and start typing below.  

KathBkewl

Hi Laura, I'm the same unfortunately. Newly diagnosed with ILC grade 2. When I was told,  I said but I've never used my milk ducts,  how can this happen? I hadn't heard this could happen if you are childless, interesting.